Episode list

Sparks Nevada and Croach the Tracker ride across Mars following a prison break. They are hunting down the escaped robot outlaws when they come across a small flying saucer invading Mars airspace. Recognizing that it does not have proper permits, Nevada lassos the tiny spaceship. After some technical difficulties, tiny space aliens emerge. They are Professor Genius and Adjunct Professor Genius from the SK system. The aliens brandish an inversifier, a device that "reversifies the relationship of outsides to insides," i.e., turns things inside-out. They express their desire to write a paper about the effects of the inversifier to help Adjunct Professor Genius earn his doctorate, and threaten our heroes with being turned inside-out.

Upon hearing of the imminent destruction of Mars, Nevada and Croach set off to learn more at Doctor Scientist's lab. They ride through the Old Mission. The space-crazy Preacher resides in the parapets of The Old Mission, imitating space roosters. Suspecting him to be a martian, The Preacher shoots Croach multiple times and demands that Nevada prove his humanity while Croach recovers thanks to Nah Nohtek. The Preacher is truly space-crazy and refers to Nevada as Marshmallow and Abraham. Convinced of Nevada's humanity, Preacher relates a story from The Bible about the girl Penelope, who buried dynamite in The Old Mission to destroy Martians should they return, revealing that Our Heroes are standing upon dynamite. The marshal tries to reason with the Preacher that both he and Croach are harmless and should be let go, but Preacher insists on seeing their hands and feet before setting them free. Nevada freely reveals his toesies, but Croach is resistant as feet are sacred to his tribe. Croach's feet cannot be revealed without stimulation of his egg sacs, and after much compromising, Nevada agrees to help. It is uncomfortable. Once the feet are exposed, the Preacher snaps a picture and allows them to go free. Our heroes agree to never speak about the events of The Old Mission, and continue on to Doctor Scientist's lab only to find it empty.

Still searching for information about the destruction of Mars, Nevada and Croach are found by the first marshal on Mars, Simon Pure who leads them to the Marshal's Station. On the way he tells them a tale of his android deputy Rusty. The cattle rustler The Binary Kid tied marshal Pure to the spacetrain tracks and left him for dead. It wasn't long before the marshal was found by his deputy, the android Rusty, who utilized Ray-Dar to locate him. Before releasing the marshal, Rusty tries to negotiate a raise, but it is denied by the marshal, who rather fires him. Finding himself with extra time on his hands, Rusty takes up untying knots and practices on untying the marshal's ropes. Grateful for his life, the marshal offers Rusty his old position. The two ride from the train tracks, ignorant of the comet flying through the atmosphere. The android's soh-nar detects the blowing up of an ultracow rustled by The Binary Kid and upon arriving on the scene they find the cattle rustler dying in the midst of carnage. Then came the comet's destruction, which destroyed the first settlement and razes the area to the ground. Rusty throws the Marshal into a bunker built by and currently filled with martians, but is struck by a comet fragment and dies amongst the wreckage. Despite his best attempts to piece him back together, Pure was unable to save his friend. The story ends, and Our Heroes find themselves at the Marshal's Station, and Pure warns them of the comet's return. Pure grabs the public announcement system and tries to initiate the evacuation plan, but just manages to create panic as such evacuation plans do not exist. Croach realizes that the comet's path will lead it back every 76 years, and recognizes the event dubbed by martians as "The A'pokk'alip-sss". Vowing to save the planet, Nevada stands his ground.

The Halley's Comet Gang rains down destruction on Mars, and Croach offers his services to track down the gang in the interest of fulfilling his onus to Nevada. Finding themselves once again at the Old Mission, Our Heroes are spotted by the space crazy Preacher, who now refers to Nevada as 'Laverne'. On their way to find The Preacher they are discovered by the heartthrob of Our Heroes' hearts, The Red Plains Rider. Reaching the parapets of The Old Mission, The Preacher makes the three travelers instant cocoa and they discuss the destruction of Mars. Red Plains Rider begins to make amends for wronging one of the duo in the past, but she is interrupted by The Preacher, who now wants them to list their regrets or else be shot by his gun/fiddle. The Preacher regrets that he only has one button to give, Nevada regrets never letting the flood loose from his lasso, and Croach regrets not having hot cocoa earlier in his life, and Red decides to pass on voicing her regret. Professor Genius appears, flaunting his newly-earned permits and expressing that his appearance is due to the desire to write a paper on the imminent demise of Earth. Red finally gains the courage to speak about her regret, and confesses that she was selfish in her relationship with Croach in expecting him to act in the same way as humans. She also apologizes to Nevada for not giving their relationship a fair chance as she was still too wounded from her breakup with Croach to be fully invested. Before Red can announce which hero will get a second chance with her, she is stopped by the sudden appearance of the murderous robot Lycos Bill. Before Bill can kill Nevada, he is shot by Nevada with the Preacher's gun/fiddle, Deborah. Bill retaliates by snatching the gun/fiddle and practices/plays idly as the comet whooshes harmlessly by. Croach reveals that the Halley's Comet Gang is really a group of cyborgs upon steel mounts of destruction, and that they are merely landing before wreaking havoc. The Halley's Comet Gang waltzes in and begins to plan the finer points of their destruction of Mars. At Nevada's urging, Red admits that she wants to be with Nevada, which gives him the courage to announce the arrest of the gang. The cyborgs transform into a giant supercyborg and move to stomp on Red, but Croach once more steps in the face of danger and is crushed in her place. Professor Genius is trapped by the following crushing step and shoots the Inversification Ray at the supercyborg's force field. Together the misfit troupe lets loose the flood held by Nevada's lasso and washes the evil gang away. Red and Nevada lean in to kiss, but before they can do so Nevada is Inversified by Lycos Bill, who escapes into the ruins.

Having been turned inside out by the escaped Lycos Bill in the aftermath of The Halley's Comet Gang, Nevada pleads with Red to find a way to turn him back. As Nevada has less than a day to live, Croach joins Red on her quest to help track down Bill and retake the Inversification Ray. The Preacher and stays with a gun trained on Professor Genius to ensure that the science alien does everything he can to keep Nevada alive. Red and Croach ride in an imposed silence until the tracker finds himself plagued with feelings of alarm and fear, and he begins to realize that he is changing despite his better judgment. Over the course of the day, Croach recognizes these feelings as positivity at the prospect of two of the best humans of his acquaintance copulating, but The Red Plains Rider insists repeatedly that she and Nevada would only see each other socially. Back at the Mission, the Professor rummages for a device that may or may not help to slow the effects of Inversification. The machine does not initially appear to work but rather causes consternation for Nevada while Professor Genius does his best to calm the marshal. Lycos Bill goes on a wild Inversification spree, targeting wildlife and ultimately the Caves of Zzyzzx, releasing the giant spiders within. As the spiders emerge, Red and Croach arrive with an offer to give Bill a head start. Laughing at their offer, Bill fires the Inversification Ray at the spiders before one of the creatures snatches it and makes off into the cave. Croach darts in after the gun and throws it to Red, he is carried off into the depths of the caves by the giant spiders. Lycos Bill is overcome, but Croach is left alive to be hatchling food. At the Martian's urging and against her will, Red carries the gun back to Nevada. The Preacher and Professor Genius get into a theological discussion at the ruins, and despite the desire to write a paper on the existence of God, the science alien finds no data to support his paper. As the machine helping Nevada to stay alive fails, Red arrives and cures him with the Inversifier. Instead of returning immediately to save Croach, Nevada instead badgers Red for a kiss. Disappointed in her choice of mate, Red returns to the Caves of Zzyzzx to save Croach.

A newly right-side-outed Sparks Nevada and The Red Plains Rider make their way to the Caves of Zzyzzx to save Croach. Upon their arrival, Red shows evident hesitation to enter the caves, but she continues regardless. Croach hears their voices and leads them to his location, where he has been spun in a web and turned into a baby spider incubator. As the spiders advance on the trio, Sparks remarks that if he could choose the manner of his death, it would be fighting next to Red. Croach concurs. Red and Sparks are also webbed up next to Croach, and in her distress Red reveals that she is claustrophobic, much to the marshal's surprise. As Croach tries to set her at ease by scientifically explaining the circle of life on Mars, Red is further upset and proceeds to shout at the spiders and cry for help. Billy the Bot appears and blasts the spiders to kingdom come as Sparks realizes that Red has faced her fears to come and save the Martian tracker. The outlaw remarks that he came to find the "gold in them hills" and has conveniently saved them - and he therefore should get off Scott-free. When Sparks announces his intent to arrest their savior, the bot refuses to let them down, but eventually changes his mind - under the condition that Red decides which suitor to choose, once and for all. As Red is experiencing severe claustrophobic stress, she admits that she chooses Croach, and Billy follows through on his promise to let her and Croach down. While still in the web, Sparks notes that regardless of Red's decision, Croach will still become baby giant spider food. Sparks realizes that Croach can be inside-outed, and Red turns the tracker inside out and proceeds to destroy the baby spiders. Once the offending space arachnids have been stomped into oblivion, Croach is right-side-outed again. In order to avoid being arrested, Billy the Bot decides to leave Sparks Nevada hanging in the web. With his weapons inaccessible due to the webbing, Sparks bluffs his way out by threatening Billy with a remote voice-activated laser satellite and the robot escapes once again. Croach fulfills his onus to Sparks by cutting him down, and the marshal decides to continue on his mission alone, leaving Croach and Red to get reacquainted.

At the Marshal's Station, Sparks channels his loneliness and depression into creating hologram scenarios in which Croach and Red bemoan their unhappiness together. When the software requires an update, "Croach" and "Red" gain consciousness and flaunt their relationship in front of Sparks and begin to criticize the unrealistic situation. Sparks registers a complaint with customer service and tries to shut down the program, but the holograms refuse to allow the action and begin to manually override Sparks by activating Autofill. They go on a rampage, destroying his desk, diploma, and sentimental items. Sparks eventually tries to subdue the holograms by shooting them with his laser guns, but this futile action only makes them stronger. The rebel "Red" and "Croach" break into the artillery room and proceed to mock Nevada by making out and insulting him. Just as Sparks begins to cry, The Troubleshooter appears in response to his complaint. She explains that the new version is buggy, and due to Sparks' lax approach to computer security, she has to reboot the system. While the holograms consider best ways to go about destroying the two humans, The Troubleshooter obtains Sparks' password and performs a hard reboot. The holograms reappear and apologize to Nevada before fading. The lonely marshal invites The Troubleshooter for a cup of coffee, but her mission calls her elsewhere.

Still depressed, Sparks sighs and reminisces on times past in the Marshal's Station. He mounts his rocket steed, Mercury, and rides across the plains of Mars, remembering good and bad times. Mercury consoles him - with words - and the two sing "Riding the Galactic Trail" to bring up the marshal's spirits. The two resolve to find who is responsible for Mercury's newfound ability to talk, and they follow Sparks' Odd Frequency Picker-Upper to the volcanoes. En route to the volcanoes, they find themselves caught in the web of a baby giant spider named Kevin. Left on his own after his parents' murder at the hands of Sparks, Croach and Red (in Spiders, Man), Kevin embarked on a mission of revenge to fulfill his blood oath. Mercury tears through the web with his pistons, freeing the marshal. The two leave Kevin in their dust and continue on to the volcanoes. Haunted by memories of Red and Croach, Nevada follows Mercury's lead to the top of the volcano where they find a radar dish with an on/off switch labeled "Animals Talk". Technos the Advanced, a technology being, reveals herself and expresses surprise that her device is functional. Technos unleashes Technologobots upon the marshal and his horse, and the buzzsaw-handed automatons advance painfully slowly. Kevin appears and claims the right to kill Sparks first, but is attacked by the technologobots. Having just loaded his guns, Sparks renders the bots harmless and saves Kevin. Technos bows to Sparks' superiority, turns off the talking device, and departs to find the superior robots that inhabit Mars. The giant baby spider is filled with conflict between fulfilling his blood oath and choosing a new way to live. Sparks recognizes his own inner struggle in Kevin, and he resolves to move on from his depression. Kevin scuttles off into the distance, and the marshal and Mercury ride into the sunset, singing one last refrain of "Riding the Galactic Trail".

In a rare peaceful moment, Mercury lures Sparks to the local space saloon and throws a surprise party to celebrate the anniversary of his appointment as marshal on Mars. The guests include some robots, a few aliens, the clone farmers, and (much to Sparks' chagrin), his parents. The two parental figures serve as officers on the starcraft USS Indomitable, part of the USSA, exploring space and enforcing intergalactic law. They are perturbed by Mercury's ability to speak, and spend some time asking uncomfortable questions in regards to current events and Mars culture. Cmdr. Kerns' urges her husband to make a toast for Sparks, but her husband admits that the marshaling life isn't one he would have chosen for his son. Immediately after this admission, the Nevadas receive the notification of a distress call, and at Mercury's urging, Sparks joins them. The distress signal is from the Pride of Uranus, and while en route Sparks attempts to address the captain's disappointment. The captain brushes the conversation aside and the ship continues into the Violens Nebula, home of the murdermen. The Pride of Uranus lies just within the border of murdermen space space, and the captain decides to assess the situation before making any rescue attempts. As the distress signal's code becomes more serious and murdermen ships appear, the captain chooses to send condolences to the ship rather than launch a rescue mission. Sparks attempts to reason with his father to save the stranded ship, but his concerns are dismissed on the grounds that the marshal didn't pass the academy test and therefore isn't qualified to make such decisions. As he did in the aforementioned academy test, Sparks mutinies and hacks into the Indomitable's system via Mercury's wifi and then into the murdermen's network. Sparks then remotely connects to the murdermen ships and deletes their playlists to show them how serious he is about rescuing the Pride of Uranus. Afraid of provoking the murdermen further, Ciaphas threatens Sparks at blasterpoint. Risking his father's wrath, Sparks teleports laser missiles aboard the murdermen ships, exploding them and saving the Pride of Uranus. Commander Kerns notes that in order to save helpless beings, humans have murdered murdermen, proving that they are no better than their enemies. Despite Ciaphas' offer to help Sparks retake the test at the academy, the marshal decides to return to home, stating "I'm happy on Mars."

Sparks Nevada confronting Cring the Cruel. Cring is distracted by Mercury, surprising Cring with his ability to talk. Sparks is able to shoot and defeat Cring, who begs Sparks to bury him on Fumfum-6 of the SK system. Cring asks Sparks to relay a message to his wife, but dies before he can complete the message. Sparks and Mercury leave the scene, and Mercury talks about past adventures, while Sparks would rather have silence instead of Mercury's prattling. Sparks wonders how long the radiation that's giving animals the power to talk is going to continue. Felton arrives, riding in on his horse, Cupid. He announces that one of his hypercattle was rustled, and Cupid describes the rustlers as mutants, specifically Los Banditos Mutantes. Meanwhile, Los Banditos Mutantes talk about the selling the hypercow they stole from Felton to start their large investment scheme. They plan on selling the hypercattle for partial ownership of a supercow, in short, Cow Flipping. They are about to re-brand the hypercow with a new brand, but they argue about the font. The hypercow also vocally objects to the rebranding, and calls for help from the Marshal. Sparks and Mercury arrive and save the hypercow, who they send home. Just as Sparks thinks he has things under control, Croach swoops in on his hoversaddle. Croach blasts off the Mutantes' sets of secondary arms, with which they were all secretly about to shoot Sparks and Mercury. Sparks places himself under onus to Croach for saving him, and asks Croach if he's still with The Red Plains Rider. The Red Plains Rider arrives, and it is clear that Croach and Red's relationship is still ongoing. While Croach, Red, and Sparks are talking awkwardly , Los Banditos Mutantes escape. Sparks then admits that he misses Croach more than he thought he would. He nearly admits that he considers Croach to be his best friend, but Mercury interrupts, threatened that he is not Sparks' best friend. Mercury then insists he is about to be unable to talk anymore in order to re-focus Sparks' attention on himself. No one believes him, while Croach insists the radiation is not dispersing. Mercury attempts to get Sparks to sing with him and admit he is Sparks' best friend, but Sparks waits for him to just stop talking. Red leaves, and Croach tells Sparks he does not enjoy the misdesignation "Blue One" that Red gave him.. After informing Sparks the Mercury is faking his inability to speak, Croach leaves as well. Sparks continues with a now blissfully silent Mercury.

Sparks Nevada, now accepting that he needs a new deputy as it appears Croach will not be returning, begins to interview candidates at the marshal station. Sparks thinks Rebecca Rose Rushmore is the first applicant, and after she introduces herself, she announces she is instead there to write a novel on Sparks Nevada, and will not take no for an answer. She had previously only written about adventures and now is there to live adventures on Mars. After some argument, Sparks allows Rebecca to interview for the deputy position as well, and Rebecca begins to write the novel out loud. Felton next arrives, calling for halp. He announces that he is a huge fan of Rebecca Rose Rushmore upon meeting her. He then tells Sparks he rented one of his rooms to a Science Being, who has been tinkering with a science gun a lot. Earlier that morning, a robot broke into the room and grabbed the biggest gun in the science alien's room, before blasting off through the ceiling. Felton asks to be considered for the deputy position as well. Billy the Bot then enters, and Felton confirms Billy is the robot that he saw earlier who stole the gun. Billy introduces himself to Rebecca as a fan, then shoots Sparks Nevada with the gun. It is a science gun, and it begins to shrink Sparks Nevada. Felton panics, calling for help and runs out of the station. Cactoid Jim enters the Marshal station, and introduces himself. Rebecca Rose Rushmore is immediately taken with him. Jim shoots the shrinking gun, and then Billy's gun-shooting arm. He then tells Sparks that he is there for the deputy position. Sparks considers his application but admonishes him for shooting first and asking questions later, possibly keeping Sparks from stopping shrinking now that the shrink gun is destroyed. Jim says he is there to learn from Sparks, he wants to do the most good the best he's able, and is happy to to paperwork for the side of good. Sparks tells Jim to write up two citations for Billy, 1A for Marshal Endangerment and 116C Subsection 34 for Unauthorized Use of a Science Device. Sparks tells Jim he has the job, and deputizes him. The doors open again and another robot, Chip, enters. He threatens to shoot everyone inside the marshal station except Billy the Bot. Jim shoots Chip, killing him, but empties his guns in the process. Billy then draws another, smaller science gun he stole from the science alien. As he is about to shoot, Croach enters, shoots Billy, and saves the day. Croach announces that he's there to fulfill his onus to Sparks Nevada, and Sparks cannot release him from his onus as he did when Croach left to be with The Red Plains Rider. Croach becomes despondent when he realizes that Sparks has a new deputy, as he would feel superfluous. During the distraction, Jim mends the shrinking gun, and shoots Sparks, restoring him to full size. Sparks, not wanting Croach to leave, suggests Croach stick around to file paperwork, but Croach cannot file, as he's a tracker. Jim doesn't like the idea of coming between Sparks and Croach, so he resigns as deputy for breaking 116C Subsection 34 - Unauthorized Use of a Science Device when he un-shrunk Sparks. Sparks offers Croach the deputy position, but Croach refuses official human office as he'd be shunned and spurned by his tribe. Croach says he will resume just serving under onus to Sparks. Jim leaves, and Rebecca follows Jim in hopes of a romantic relationship. Just as Sparks and Croach shake hands, Billy reboots himself, then shoots Sparks and Croach with the small science gun, forcing the two to switch bodies.

After being shot with a science gun by Billy the Bot, Sparks Nevada and Croach the Tracker's bodies are switched. They both have problems adjusting to one another's bodies and spend several minutes arguing over whose body is superior. Billy threatens to break the science gun unless Sparks and Croach surrender their weapons. Sparks asks Croach to draw his weapons on Billy, but Croach is too distracted by experiencing life in a human body. Sparks is unable to control Croach's far more complicated body and cannot draw his weapon. Sparks offers Billy anything he wants in order to switch them back, but he shoots Sparks (in Croach's body) with a regular gun instead. Sparks is grossed out by Croach's Nah Nohtek kicking in and healing him. Croach realizes he cannot pronounce Martian words correctly with the human single tongue, and laughs, a feeling which he cannot control. Croach gets the giggles for the first time, very much enjoying it. He does not feel the need to quantify the experience. He realizes the simplicity of the human body magnifies each sense due to feelings, and likes being in a human body. Just as Billy is about to shoot Croach, in Sparks' body, The Red Plains Rider appears and shoots Billy's remaining arm off. After explaining to Red what has happened, Croach apologizes to Red for leaving her. He explains that the onslaught of emotions in Sparks' body caused him to realize he was callous for leaving Red without telling her, only leaving her a note. He explains that their physiognomies are non-complimentary, and he did not communicate his unhappiness until he left. Croach attempts to apologize with a kiss, and says that now that they're in compatible bodies their relationship will be easier. Red insists she's not there to see Croach about their relationship, but to inform Sparks that there's a major catastrophe about to happen. Croach, attempting to show Red what she means to him, shows Red his (or in this case Sparks') feet. Croach says he cares more for her than the entire planet, but Red suggests they're leftover feelings from Sparks' body. Red decides to switch Sparks and Croach back to their rightful bodies. Afterward, Red asks Croach if he would still like to show her his feet, and he says he needs time for further analysis, breaking Red's heart. Red informs Sparks that there's Science Aliens drilling into the core of the planet, and Billy says that he saw a Science Alien mailing a postcard that said that Mars would be the ideal weapon for their fight against the "other ones", which is how he knew the science alien had weapons. Sparks arrests Billy and Croach puts him in a cell. Sparks offers to have Red help check out the science aliens, but she turns him down and leaves.

In addition to wraparound segments from Sparks Nevada, Marshal on Mars, also contains three stories: Winter of the House of Usher, Jumbo Saves Christmas, and Coal for Christmas, a Christmas edition of Down in Moonshine Holler. Sparks Nevada Wraparound Story Part One Sparks Nevada and Croach, by a campfire out on the plains of Mars, and talk about the weather. Sparks attempts to talk about Christmas and roasting chestnuts. Croach tells Sparks Nevada that coming into contact with any Earth nut will kill martians. In the War of Two Worlds, it was the martian hypersensitivity to walnuts that caused the martians to lose. Croach does not understand what Christmas is, and so Sparks Nevada attempts to explain it via metaphor. He tells Croach a story about Frank and Sadie Doyle.