Dan Povenmire credited as playing...
Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz • Computer Voice
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Ah, Perry the Platypus! Come in, get trapped, listen to my back story: When I was a child, I grew flabby, which made me want to make the Fitness Equipment Lock-inator. Bahm-bahm-baahm! I just run on this treadmill and out comes a sonic beam that locks every other piece of fitness equipment in the Tri-State Area... blah blah blah... everyone's fat and tired. I sprint into City Hall and take over.
- [Perry easily uncouples the manacles holding him]
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: No! Perry the Platypus, don't do it! Don't push the self-destruct button. This one right here.
- [Doofenschmirtz presses the button himself]
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Oopsie-daisy! Pushed it myself. Grr, boo, hiss. That's right. I'm a loser. All right, go on now. You won fair and square. Curse you, Perry the...
- [Perry flies away]
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: And he's gone. I can't believe he fell for that Decoy-inator.
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Perry the Platypus is out of the picture. I'm Perry-free for the rest of the day. I'm sans Perry. I am platypus-less!
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: [laughing maniacally while looking through binoculars] My neighbor's cat is totally shredding her drapes again. Too bad I can't see the OWCA from here.
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Feels good, doesn't it? Being evil, huh?
- Major Monogram: What ARE you talking about? I'm good.
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Good and evil, wink-wink.
- Major Monogram: Why are you winking when you know you don't have to say "wink" when you wink?
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: [trying to figure out how Carl got hit by the Ultimate-Evil-izer and not Major Monogram] But my intelligence specifically said that YOU would be sunbathing. It never mentioned an intern.
- Major Monogram: That's because he's not officially an employee. He's unpaid.
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: You don't pay him?
- Major Monogram: He gets college credit.
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Are you sure you're not evil?
- Carl: [singing] I used to put up with too much aggravation, but look at me now. I got a new vocation, you heard it here first. 'Cause I'm the one who said it. Yeah, I'm evil.
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: He's evil!
- Carl: I'm evil for extra credit! If you're looking for trouble, well, I think you've found it. I park wherever I want, I dare you to impound it. If I'm losing a video game, I just reset it. 'Cause I'm evil.
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: He's evil!
- Carl: I'm evil for extra credit, yeah, that's right. I'm evil for extra credit! Tell 'em about it, girls.
- Female Backup Vocals: He'll do anything for good grades.
- Carl: You know I will!
- Female Backup Vocals: He's an evil jack of all trades.
- Carl: I do it all!
- Female Backup Vocals: You want badness? Then he's got it in spades.
- Carl: I got a full deck, ladies.
- Female Backup Vocals: Looks so good in leather and shades.
- Carl: You heard it here first, 'cause I'm the one who said it. 'Cause I'm evil.
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: He's evil!
- Carl: I'm evil for extra credit. I'm evil for extra credit!