John Krasinski credited as playing...
Jim Halpert
- Pam Beesly: So we're planning this party for Nellie, and we're gonna make it really bad.
- Jim Halpert: Sounds like every other party.
- [first lines]
- Pam Beesly: Hey Jim. Stanley's back from the hospital today. Can you sign his card?
- Jim Halpert: Oh, great.
- [reads]
- Jim Halpert: "Glad they didn't mix up your tonsillectomy with a moustachectomy." Oh, that's not good.
- Phyllis Vance: Oh, because your jokes are all hilarious.
- Pam Beesly: It's nice. It's funny. It mentions his tonsillectomy and makes a funny little joke about his moustache.
- Jim Halpert: Stanley doesn't have a moustache.
- Pam Beesly: Yeah, he does.
- Oscar Martinez: Pam, hit the brakes. Stanley does not have a moustache. I misspoke. I'm not sure. I think he has one, now that- I think he has a moustache.
- Pam Beesly: Okay, Phyllis sits across from him every day. Phyllis, does he have a moustache or not?
- Phyllis Vance: Oh, I don't know. Now I think he doesn't.
- Pam Beesly: Phyllis! What are you talking- The whole card depends on this!
- Jim Halpert: Okay, the man's worked here for 25 years. How can none of us picture his face?
- Angela Martin-Lipton: Because we come here to do our jobs. We don't stick our noses in other people's business.
- Pam Beesly: Okay, which one of these looks more right?
- [holds up drawing of Stanley with and without a moustache]
- Dwight Schrute: Neither of those looks like any person that has ever existed or been dreamt of in the history of human insanity. That said, the one on the left.
- Gabe Lewis: [bell dings] Guys, that's the elevator. What if it's him?
- Jim Halpert: Okay, quick. Who says moustache?
- [Pam, Oscar, Dwight, and Creed raise their hands]
- Dwight Schrute: Yep.
- Jim Halpert: Who says no moustache?
- [Jim, Angela, and Phyllis raise their hands; Gabe enters, hiding Stanley's face]
- Gabe Lewis: [reveals Stanley's moustache] Ah! Ha ha ha!
- Phyllis Vance: He does have a moustache.
- Dwight Schrute: Yes!
- Pam Beesly: Welcome back, Stanley.
- [Stanley grunts]