Gary Schwartz credited as playing...
Heavy • Demoman
- Heavy: [the Medic drops the new, and now ÜberCharged, baboon heart in the Heavy's open chest cavity, where it wriggles] Should I be awake for this?
- Medic: Ah heh. Well, no, heh. But as long as you are, could you hold your rib cage open a bit?
- [he tries to push the heart in]
- Medic: I can't... seem...
- [suddenly, the heart is shoved in with a crack]
- Heavy: Ah!
- [a rib has broken off]
- Medic: Oh, don't be such a baby. Ribs grow back!
- [to his pet dove, Archimedes]
- Medic: No they don't.
- Heavy: [on the operating table, the Heavy laughs as Medic finishes a joke] Oh-hoh-ho no more!
- Medic: Wait, wait, wait, it gets better. When the patient woke up, his skeleton was missing, and the doctor was never heard from again!
- [laughs again, then pauses]
- Medic: Anyway, that's how I lost my medical license, heh.
- Medic: [the Medic has Heavy's heart outside his body temporarily while operating, keeping him alive with a medi-gun. He prepares to augment the Heavy's heart with a mechanical device for accepting an ÜberCharge] Now, most hearts couldn't withstand this voltage, but I'm fairly certain your heart...
- [the heart explodes]
- Heavy: What was noise?
- Medic: The sound of progress, my friend.