Charlie McDermott credited as playing...
Axl Heck
- Axl Heck: I have no idea who I'm dating.
- Sean Donahue: What do you mean you don't know who you're dating?
- Axl Heck: I don't know, okay? They were both acting like they were dating me. It was weird.
- Darrin: Who'd you ask out? That would at least eliminate one.
- Axl Heck: I thought I called Courtney, but maybe I called Debbie instead. I don't know anymore!
- Sean Donahue: Come on, we can figure this out. Which one seems to like you more?
- Axl Heck: I can't tell 'cause they're always together. I mean, I assume I'd go for the blonde, but Debbie's really been riding me lately, so maybe she's my girlfriend.
- Darrin: Which one have you been making out with?
- [Axl looks sheepish]
- Sean Donahue: Oh... my... God. Three weeks, you haven't even kissed one? Maybe you're dating Darrin.
- Darrin: He could do worse. I'm kind, and I always show up on time.
- Axl Heck: I haven't been making out yet 'cause I'm never alone with whoever it is I'm dating.
- Sue Heck: Look! Look. They got Brick a bunny.
- Axl Heck: What? How come he gets a bunny and I don't?
- Frankie Heck: [in low voice] 'Cause Brick needs help and you don't, so Brick gets a bunny.
- Axl Heck: Oh, so he does weird stuff and gets things? I can do weird stuff.
- [flailing]
- Axl Heck: Ooh! Aah! Blah-huh-hoo! Oowah.
- [stops]
- Axl Heck: Now, get me a car.
- Axl Heck: Courtney!
- [kisses her]
- Courtney: Axl!
- [slaps him]
- Axl Heck: Uh, Debbie!
- [Debbie slaps him]
- Axl Heck: What?
- Debbie: That was totally inappropriate.
- Courtney: Totally.
- Axl Heck: Hold on. Why are you mad? Because you're my girlfriend's best friend or because you're my girlfriend and I kissed you inappropriately in front of your best friend?
- [chasing after them]
- Axl Heck: Wait! Don't go! One of you is really important to me!