Jason Segel credited as playing...
Marshall Eriksen
- Robin Scherbatsky: [about a dance-off] Marshall it doesn't matter. Cause you'd lose anyway and you know why? Cause I'm Sparkles bitch!
- Marshall Eriksen: Oh and you think you can step up to me? You think you could step up to the streets? To me? You think you could step up, over me, to the streets?
- Robin Scherbatsky: [Marshall is bitter because a drink he conceptualized at MacLaren's is named after Robin] It's my usual!
- Marshall Eriksen: Immaterial! If it's gonna be named after anybody, it should be the Marshall Eriksen.
- Robin Scherbatsky: Sorry, it's the Robin Scherbatsky, read it and weep.
- Marshall Eriksen: So you're gonna Zuckerberg me? Alright, you're Zuckerberging me? It's fine, I'll see you in court, a little court called the dance floor. Dance-off now!
- Lily Aldrin: No, no dancing. Marshall, we've been through this. The doctor said your dancer's hip is worse than ever, you have to lay off dancing for a while.
- Marshall Eriksen: You're killing me, Lily! You're killing me! I'm an adult, you have to let me dance my own battles.