Debby Ryan credited as playing...
Jessie Prescott
- Jessie Prescott: [screaming] LUKE, WHAT ARE YOU WORKING ON?
- Luke Ross: HOMEWORK!
- Jessie Prescott: Must have blown an ear drum in the helicopter. Sounded like you said you were working on homework.
- Luke Ross: I am. I finally get to do a report on something I know a lot about.
- Jessie Prescott: Your school's letting you write a paper on under-the-bed pizza box fungus?
- Luke Ross: I wish. My social studies class has a multicultural night where we have to do a report and presentation on a foreign land. Listen: "The planet Krypton's chief exports include multicolored, poisonous rocks and Superman."
- Jessie Prescott: You can't do your report on Krypton.
- Luke Ross: Because it blew up?
- Jessie Prescott: Because it's imaginary. Luke, if you need help researching other cultures, Zuri was born in Uganda, and Ravi's from India. Do you see where I'm getting at?
- Luke Ross: Yep. Once again, Emma's completely useless.
- Emma Ross: [the girls are in the screening room watching a movie] So, my dad got me an advanced copy of "The Sisterhood of Teen Paranormal Activity"!
- [the girls squeal in excitement]
- Bryn Breitbart: [Bryn holds up her DVD] Or, I brought the DVD of Ingmar Knudsen's "Cries of Ice and Pain". Knudsen is Denmark's greatest living auteur.
- Rosie: You are so deep and European!
- Bryn Breitbart: Aww!
- [leans in and shows Rosie]
- Bryn Breitbart: It's in black-and-white and there's hardly any dialogue. Watching is like walking through a long dark tunnel of sadness!
- Emma Ross: Wow. As fun as that sounds, if I wanted to see cries of ice and pain, I'd watch Ravi try to figure skate again.
- [the girls giggle to themselves]
- Jessie Prescott: [brings out a tray of smoothies for the girls] Ladies, here are your "Night at the Movies" strawberry smoothies!
- Bryn Breitbart: [takes her smoothie and examines it] Uh, did you use organic strawberries and soy milk?
- Jessie Prescott: No, I wanted them to taste good.
- [Emma laughs loudly to herself]
- Bryn Breitbart: [takes her smoothie and the girls' smoothies back onto Jessie's tray] Sorry, I'm just not cool with drinking poison.
- Emma Ross: Jessie, maybe the girls would like some...
- Bryn Breitbart: Strawberries from a small organic farm upstate!
- Jessie Prescott: Seriously? Go upstate for strawberries? Now?
- Emma Ross: [Bryn shrugs "Why not"] Hello? Why do we have a helicopter?
- Jessie Prescott: Hello! I'm pretty sure not for airlifting in berries!
- Emma Ross: [pulling Jessie aside] Jessie, please! My hostess rep is at stake! How do you think it feels having the right strawberries for the royal guest at my party?
- Jessie Prescott: I think you just defined "rich people problems"!
- Bryn Breitbart: [noticing Jessie and Emma at the movies and taps Rosie's shoulder] What's *she* doing here?
- Jessie Prescott: [to Emma] Just ignore them.
- Bryn Breitbart: I thought we agreed we weren't inviting Bossy Rossy!
- Jessie Prescott: [to Emma] Just let it roll off your back.
- Bryn Breitbart: [about Jessie] And why did she come with that old lady?
- [Jessie gasps softly]
- Bryn Breitbart: [taunting her] Is she doing community service?
- Jessie Prescott: [loudly] Say *what*?
- [the audience shushes Jessie]
- Jessie Prescott: Oh, it's just a trailer for a stupid murder mystery! I've read the book, and the poodle groomer did it! There, saved you all 20 bucks!
- [the audience groans]
- Emma Ross: [pulling Jessie's arm] Jessie, cut it out!
- Jessie Prescott: [running over to the girls and Bryn] Look ladies, I'm sure this is just some misunderstanding! Bryn, I'm sure you would never be mean on purpose!
- [Bryn throws popcorn at Jessie and then smirks nastily]
- Emma Ross: [pulling Jessie's arm] Jessie, can we please just go? It's no big deal! You can home-school me!
- [Bryn looks at the girls nastily]
- Jessie Prescott: No way!
- [takes the bucket of popcorn]
- Jessie Prescott: Eat corn, mean girl!
- [Jessie throws the whole bucket of popcorn on Bryn and it lands in her hair]
- Bryn Breitbart: This blowout cost $200!
- Jessie Prescott: So did this popcorn!
- [a food fight begins between Jessie, Emma and Bryn]
- Bryn Breitbart: [screams as she has soda sprayed on her, and she enlists the girls to help her] Girls! Don't just sit there! Help me!
- Rosie: [afraid of fighting against Emma and Jessie] Can't I just be a conscientious objector?
- Bryn Breitbart: No! This is *my* group now, not Emma's! And you guys have to do what I say, or I'm cutting you out, just like I did her!
- [the audience gasps in horror]
- Bryn Breitbart: [trying to cover it up] I mean... have I mentioned I'm royalty adjacent?
- Jessie Prescott: Yes. Several times!
- Bryn Breitbart: No one was talking to *you*!
- Emma Ross: Don't talk to Jessie that way!
- Bryn Breitbart: I don't want to speak to either of you!
- [walking down the steps]
- Bryn Breitbart: And you'll never be invited to my Scottish chalet!
- Emma Ross: I thought you said it was an *Alpine* chalet!
- Bryn Breitbart: Uh... we're a two chalet family?
- Rosie: [checking her phone] I just searched online for "Bryn Breitbart plus royalty". The only thing that came up was "Al Breitbart, "Happy Tush" Toilet Paper King"!
- Bryn Breitbart: That's ridiculous!
- [Rosie shuts off her phone]
- Bryn Breitbart: [admitting the truth] Alright, alright! So I'm a TP heiress from Yonkers, big deal!
- Jessie Prescott: "Happy Tush"? That stuff is like sandpaper! Your family's product is as hurtful and abrasive as *you*!
- Bryn Breitbart: Well, not *all* of us can be popular because our parents are famous!