Seth MacFarlane credited as playing...
Peter Griffin • Brian Griffin • Stewie Griffin • Glenn Quagmire • Tom Tucker • Dr. Elmer Hartman • Captain Seamus • E.T.
- Peter Griffin: Let's face it, there's only one drinking spot for us and it's the clam.
- Glen Quagmire: But Peter it's closed, we can't go in there.
- Peter Griffin: Quagmire, when a girl says she doesn't wanna have sex with you do you take that as an answer?
- Glen Quagmire: [a man walks up to Quagmire and whispers in his ear, then leaves] My lawyer has advised me not to answer that question.
- Peter Griffin: [a Past Generation of the friends is drinking in the Clam] To the Clam!
- Glen Quagmire: To the Clam!
- Joe Swanson: To the Clam!
- Joe Swanson: And to mind-damaging STDs!
- Glen Quagmire: I wake up with blood on my penis-pillow!
- Peter Griffin: I'm going to die an old man in a chair, staring out to sea and going slowly insane!
- Glen Quagmire: [Speaking at the softball game] Hey Goldman's Pharmacy, can you fill out a prescription for diarrhea? Because we're about to get the runs.
- Peter Griffin: That was the start of the dark times. The banks took our bars, our businesses, and then our homes. A change had to be made. A change only one man could make. I am the windmaker... and I shoot monkeys now.
- Peter Griffin: Sorry, Amanda. By the law of 80s movies, a newly transformed tomboy supercedes your long standing hotness.
- Meg Griffin: [sees empty casket] Oh. My. God!
- [goes to Chris' room]
- Meg Griffin: Alright, Chris, where is it? And don't try to act like you don't know what I'm talking about.
- Chris Griffin: Fine, you caught me. So I borrowed your bra. My boobs hurt when I go down the stairs!
- Meg Griffin: No, not that! You idiot! Where is the dead body? I know you took it, and don't lie, or I'll tell Jennifer Connelly that you're the one who's been mailing her those dog heads.
- Chris Griffin: [cutaway, Chris is at the post office] Uh, yes, I'd like to mail this to a whore.
- [back at the house]
- Chris Griffin: Okay, fine, Meg, I used the body to get me into R-rated movies. After that, I took him swimming and he fell apart!
- Meg Griffin: Chris, Mr. Dougan's wake is tomorrow, and there's going to be a body in that casket. If it's not his, it's going to be yours.
- Stewie Griffin: [Stewie walks in with a black jacket] Hey guys. What's going on? And no one says anything which means they hate it.