Molly Shannon credited as playing...
Col. Beverly Shannon
- Lt. Colonel John Wayne 'J.W.' Prescott: [Jessie's dad has caught out Jessie and the kids; after seeing Luke, Zuri and Ravi stick goo onto Darla and sticking her to the wall] JESSIE!
- Col. Beverly Shannon: [seeing Darla stuck to the wall] Oh, my stars and stripes! Dar-Dar, is that you?
- Darla Shannon: [stuck to the wall in goo] Yes, Mummy! Look what they did to me!
- Col. Beverly Shannon: Oh, dear! You look like one of those hideous aliens from Area 51!
- [Jessie, the kids, Darla and Jessie's dad look at her weirdly, with a brief pause]
- Col. Beverly Shannon: Which completely does not exist.
- [gives them a threatening stare and points at them]
- Col. Beverly Shannon: And if any of you dare to mention this conversation, there will be a probing in your future!
- [the kids look at each other]
- Jessie Prescott: [Jessie looks at her dad, worried] Dad, I know what you're thinking; but, any time there's trouble,
- [points at Darla]
- Jessie Prescott: Darla is the one who starts it!
- Lt. Colonel John Wayne 'J.W.' Prescott: [looks at the kids, in the B.A.T; and Darla stuck to the wall] So did she start this?
- Jessie Prescott: [looks at the kids and Darla awkwardly] OK, maybe this time is a bad example.
- Lt. Colonel John Wayne 'J.W.' Prescott: I've asked you to try and get along with Darla, but instead, you attack her with experimental weaponry?
- Jessie Prescott: [Jessie has had enough of her dad forcing her to get along with Darla] Why do you care so much if I get along with Darla? After this trip, I'll never have to see her again!
- Lt. Colonel John Wayne 'J.W.' Prescott: Oh, yes, you will, because you and Darla are going to be *sisters*!
- Jessie Prescott: [Jessie is shocked at the thought of becoming Darla's step-sister] WHAT?
- Col. Beverly Shannon: [looking at Jessie and Darla] That's right, girls. My armored heart has been captured by this
- [looking at J.W]
- Col. Beverly Shannon: uniformed yum-yum!
- [Beverly and J.W smooch in front of Jessie and Darla and both of them express looks of disgust]
- Lt. Colonel John Wayne 'J.W.' Prescott: So, we wanted you to become friends before we told you, but now, we're out of time.
- [looking at Beverly, smiling]
- Lt. Colonel John Wayne 'J.W.' Prescott: Our wedding is tomorrow.
- Jessie Prescott: [shocked and confused] Wait, tomorrow? As in... the day after today?
- Col. Beverly Shannon: Yes, if I can wait that long.
- [looking into space]
- Col. Beverly Shannon: The only man I've had in my life for the last 10 years is Uncle Sam.
- [doing the Uncle Sam pose at J.W]
- Col. Beverly Shannon: Now I want *you*!
- Jessie Prescott: [shocked] Wait, so, *that's* why you wanted me to come home?
- Lt. Colonel John Wayne 'J.W.' Prescott: Yes! And that's why I invited *you*
- [looking at the kids]
- Lt. Colonel John Wayne 'J.W.' Prescott: , not these little threats to national security! Now, get out of my B.A.T! I had the seat just where I liked it!
- Ravi Ross: [the kids slowly start to get out of the B.A.T] We are extremely sorry, sir. Even though I did not do anything, and it was all Luke's fault.
- [Ravi accidentally presses a button on the B.A.T and it foams both J.W and Beverly]
- Ravi Ross: OK, that one is on me. By the way, for the wedding; can you put me down for a vegetarian meal?
- [Beverly and JW look at the kids in horror, trying to get the foam off]