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  • Made by John Philips, not the Mamas & Papas singer but merely an '80s pornographer's fake name, CALENDAR GIRL is a nothing film, giving me a chance to watch fave Laurien Dominique and little else. Title is a riff on Marilyn Monroe and has very little to do with actual storyline here.

    Picture opens with a photo of Marilyn in a book, as the camera roves around a bedroom strewn with VHS tapes, and a card reads: "Happy Birthday, Marilyn". Dominique as Marilyn puts a porn video in her VCR and watches it, so we see a routine stag movie. Laurien gets ben wah balls and inserts them in her vagina to masturbate.

    Starr Wood phones her and is invited over; she arrives and requests that Marilyn play the video "Babysitter in Chains". Erica Boyer is the star of this b&d epic, handcuffed to a chair. A clean-cut guys treats Erica to anal sex, with a second guy showing up for troilism.

    Laurien tells of meeting a biker at a club, cuing a slave-girl fantasy of her riding his bike handcuffed, in flashback. Domination is the theme again, as he feels up Laurien's breasts with a hammer in a threatening S&M setting. She resists as he gets rough, then chains her to the bike and forces a blow job. Adding to the fetishism, he's dressed in leather chaps and humps her from behind.

    Next, Starr puts on a video of "Apple Knockers and the Coke", the underground short that still fools some people into thinking it stars Monroe. Laurien pops out her ben wah balls and Starr has lesbian sex with her using a double dong dildo.

    Pretty crappy and extremely odd casting of Laurien Dominique as Marilyn.