Plot

Coach tells Nick to give him a day to help change Nick's life with diet and exercise. Jess takes action when menus for the same Chinese restaurant keep getting delivered to the loft.

Someone slips a Hop Foo menu under the loft door. Nick takes advantage of it for brunch. Jess is wearing an Ocean Conservation Day T-shirt ("OCD rules!") and plans to pitch the field trip to the principal.

At school. Jess tells Principal Foster that everything's been donated, they just need transportation. His first answer is a very loud no, then he explains he slept poorly last night.

Jess explains some of her kids have never seen the ocean. She asked them to draw pictures of it and one drew a bagel with wings. He still says no.

At the loft, Coach is all moved in to Schmidt's old room. Seeing Chinese brunch, he's concerned about Nick's level of fitness. Schmidt comes by to drop off his old key.

"His jeans are so small," Coach says, as Schmidt leaves. "He looks like something some Italian whittled," Nick says.

Coach offers to train Nick so he can avoid the "boyfriend 15," which leads to him turning into a fat guy with a cowboy hat on a bicycle going in circles -- with a fat guy rash on his arm.

Nick agrees, even though working out really isn't his thing. Winston wants to join in, but they don't expect him to last because he always gets hurt. Winston falls over on his bad ankle - he hurt it slipping on a pile of Chinese food menus in the hall.

At school, Jess has to break the bad news about no beach trip to her student Crystal, in her hot dog hat. Jess assures her that if hot dogs can be hats, anything is possible.

Back at the loft, Jess is annoyed to see the pile of Chinese menus under the door. She decides to confront the restaurant.

At Hop Foo, she's ready to yell, but the waiter Bryan is super nice and immediately says they're wasteful and he'll talk to the manager. She loses her angry thunder quickly, then dissolves into immaturity when he tells her she's gorgeous.

At the loft, Coach is ready to get Nick to work out. Schmidt calls, asking if he left his Oakland Raiders yarmulke there. He's sitting in his mostly empty loft, but won't come over even after Nick invites him. They put him on speaker phone and describe the scene.

Jess comes home, charged over her menu victory. But it's short lived, as another comes sliding under the door. Jess follows the man slipping them under the doors to a van where she sees the waiter, Bryan. He confesses he's the owner, and he doesn't care about conservation, he just cares about his restaurant. Jess announces she's going to start a petition and turn it in to the people who are in charge of restaurants.

In the loft, Coach gets Nick moving to electronica. Schmidt hears it through the wall and busts a move, unable to resist the good work out track. Coach puts Nick through jumping rope, but Nick thinks his is broken. Nick's push-ups look like he's mounting the floor.

Cece comes over, with the emergency Chinese food Nick told her Jess needed. At the sight of her, Coach loses his ability to speak, and comes up with "diggity" and "wassup," then just starts lifting a dumbbell with two hands.

Nick gives Cece money for the food, and a tip, leading Coach to offer to tip her right over. She leaves. Jess comes home and goes to her room to research lawsuits "for fun."

Coach knocks the dumplings out of Nick's hands.

Winston digs into the Chinese food as Nick and Coach grapple over dumplings. The ankle he hurt is bad enough that he's in a wheelchair -- one that he found in a ditch. Coach challenges Nick to be a doer instead of a "dumplinger," but Nick stuffs the whole thing in his mouth.

Winston asks if the food has MSG in it because it makes his jaw lock up. Jess sees that the menus promise No MSG and wheels him out.

Schmidt sees the scene and fumes over missing everything.

At Hop Foo, Jess tells Bryan that if they don't stop with the menus she'll show everyone what his food did to Winston. He argues that Chinese food is MSG and America is living a lie, but she doesn't like his vibe and presents Winston to the restaurant.

At the loft, Coach sits on the couch making island beats with a Casio. He was trying to prove he could still coach by helping Nick. He's been bumming since Malia broke up with him.

Schmidt comes over with an extra alarm clock, to be neighborly. He sets it up on a shelf. Nick recognizes it has a camera in it. Schmidt leaves, announcing he has to go have coffee with a dear friend.

Coach puts it to music. "Tiny pants man, he don't have no friends, that's why he got the clock to watch his friends..."

At the restaurant, Jess successfully drives away all the customers. She tells Bryan she'll be back every day to do the same thing until he stops with the menus. Bryan announces she wins. He fires the menu guy.

Schmidt has coffee with Outside Dave, who tells him that people grow up and move on, especially young people. He once lived with 40 birds, and they left, and he moved on.

Back at the loft, Coach gorges on Chinese food. Jess wallows in defeat and sticks her face in a box of Chinese food.

Nick sees two doers on the couch wallowing and tries to make a speech to inspire them. Schmidt storms in, announcing they win, he misses them. Nick asks Jess if there's a car or van they can rent, and she gets an idea.

The Hop Foo vans drive the kids to the beach. Crystal gives Jess her hot dog hat. Jess gives it to Nick. Crystal asks if he's her dad.

Jess asks how he feels helping people. Nick decides to run, with Coach chasing after him to do it better. "Nick Miller, you sorry excuse for a human being, you're shaped like a bean bag chair!"

Jess gives Schmidt his key back. He admits it's a copy; he has 50 at home. Winston's wheelchair falls apart and the kids start burying him in sand. Jess wears her hot dog hat proudly.