Laurie Metcalf credited as playing...
Mary Cooper
- Sheldon Cooper: I'll condemn you internally, while maintaining an outward appearance of acceptance.
- Mary Cooper: [lovingly] That is very Christian of you.
- Sheldon Cooper: Mother.
- [Knock-knock-knock]
- Sheldon Cooper: Mother.
- [Knock-knock-knock]
- Sheldon Cooper: Mother.
- [Knock-knock-knock]
- Sheldon Cooper: Mother.
- Mary Cooper: Shelly. I'm so glad you're here.
- Sheldon Cooper: I saw you having naked sex.
- Mary Cooper: What are you talking about?
- Sheldon Cooper: Earlier I came here to surprise you. I looked in the window and I saw you with a man.
- Mary Cooper: Oh, Shelly. I'm so sorry. Come in. Um. Maybe we should sit down and talk about this.
- Sheldon Cooper: Can you recommend a surface you haven't had coitus on?
- Mary Cooper: That's not funny. Maybe we should sit at the table.
- Sheldon Cooper: How long have you been a demented sex pervert?
- Mary Cooper: That is no way to speak to your mother.
- Sheldon Cooper: Perhaps not. But is a way to speak to a woman who quoted the bible to me my whole life and then desecrated one of Ethan Allan's finest.
- Mary Cooper: I will give you one opportunity young man to apologize to me.
- Sheldon Cooper: Or what?
- Mary Cooper: Or I will send you to your room.
- Sheldon Cooper: That is ridiculous. I am a grown man, I am a professional scientist and currently occupy the moral high ground
- Mary Cooper: Go to your room.
- Sheldon Cooper: But I occupy the moral high ground.
- Mary Cooper: Go to your room.
- Sheldon Cooper: But I am a professional scientist.
- Mary Cooper: Go to your room.
- Sheldon Cooper: I'm a grown man.
- Sheldon Cooper: I think what bothers me the most is the hypocrisy. Doesn't this contradict all the religious rules you've been expounding your whole life?
- Mary Cooper: You're right, it does. And it is something I have been struggling with these days.
- Sheldon Cooper: Then why are you doing it?
- Mary Cooper: Because I'm not perfect, Shelly, and that man's booty is.
- Sheldon Cooper: Well, this is confusing for me. But I don't want to stand in the way of your happiness so I'll condemn you internally while maintaining an outward appearance of acceptance.
- Mary Cooper: That is very Christian of you.