Johnny Galecki credited as playing...
Leonard Hofstadter
- Penny: Leonard, what time does your mom's plane get in?
- Leonard Hofstadter: I don't know. Sometime tomorrow morning.
- Penny: Don't you want to know for sure?
- Leonard Hofstadter: No need to. As soon as she flies into California airspace, I'll feel a disturbance in the Force.
- Penny: You know, your mom's never been too thrilled with our relationship. Maybe I should get her something so she warms up to me.
- Leonard Hofstadter: If you could run out and get a PhD, that might make her like you.
- Penny: Really? It didn't work for you.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Even with your mother here, you are deliberately hogging all the attention from my mom. You're like one of those elephant seal pups that steals the milk from two mothers!
- Sheldon Cooper: Do you mean what marine biologists refer to as "super weaning"?
- Leonard Hofstadter: Yes, you are a super weaner!
- Sheldon Cooper: Well, now I have to correct you. As a bit of an elephant seal buff, the more accurate comparison would be when two mother seals actively seek to nourish the same pup. So I believe the term you're looking for is a double mother suckler
- Leonard Hofstadter: Yeah, you're right. That is the term I'm looking for. You are a dirty double mother suckler!
- Sheldon Cooper: Okay, well, now that we have the terminology straightened out, how dare you?
- Leonard Hofstadter: Mom, tell Mary the story of how I made a Van der Graff generator out of our vacuum cleaner.
- Dr. Beverly Hofstadter: All right. He broke the vacuum cleaner.
- Leonard Hofstadter: I change my answer. It's amazing. It's hot. We can barely keep our hands off each other.
- Dr. Beverly Hofstadter: Seems odd to try and impress your mother with your sexual prowess. But then, you always did have that unresolved Oedipal complex.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Not once did my mother ever give me any love or affection for just being myself. I always had to earn it.
- Mary Cooper: Oh, Leonard, I'm sure she loves you very much. In her own cold godless way.
- Penny: Yeah, and you certainly don't have to earn my love.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Thank you.
- Penny: Of course you already knew that when you bought me this princess-cut drill bit.
- Dr. Beverly Hofstadter: Come to Mommy.
- Penny: It's okay. Go ahead.
- [Beverly hugs Leonard awkwardly]
- Dr. Beverly Hofstadter: Oh, my son.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Oh, my mother.
- Penny: Oh, my God.