John Michael Higgins credited as playing...
Doug
- Gene Belcher: [after Tina explains the reason for being in Courtney's play]
- [about Tina and Jimmy Jr]
- Gene Belcher: But your characters don't even end up together!
- Tina Belcher: We're all allowed to interpret the movie differently.
- Doug: No, they definitely don't end up together.
- Tina Belcher: Eh, to each his own.
- Doug: No, they really don't.
- Tina Belcher: Well, comme ci, comme sa.
- Doug: All right, well, now you're just saying words.
- Doug: [to Gene] I'm sorry, but that keyboard is adorable. Did you rescue it from a shelter?
- Courtney: Nice one, Daddy.
- Gene Belcher: Well, where'd you get your keyboard, Doug? The Too-Big Keyboard Store?
- Linda Belcher: That man hit my son with a shoulder pad.
- Doug: Hold on! I accidentally grabbed a shoulder pad. Maybe it went flying, maybe not.
- Mr. Frond: Now, who wants to tell me what happened?
- Gene Belcher: I'll tell it!
- Doug: Well, hey, why does he get to tell it?
- Linda Belcher: Because he's my beautiful boy, that's why.
- Gene Belcher: Yeah, and you're just someone's dad.
- Courtney: Yeah, my dad.
- Bob Belcher: I... I have to admit, watching one person do "Die Hard" is a little... bad.
- Gene Belcher: [gasps] Father!
- Linda Belcher: Hey, at least Gene's was raw! From the gut. Courtney's was all slick like a kid didn't even do it.
- Doug: That's because a kid could never do it. Never!
- Bob Belcher: Oh, yeah? My son's not the one who promised Carly Simon and then left everyone hanging!
- Doug: She just texted me that she was car-jacked, but she's still going to try to make it!