Will Friedle credited as playing...
Eric Matthews
- Auggie Matthews: Uncle Eric, how come you look like this?
- Cory Matthews: Because they elected him mayor.
- Riley Matthews: Who would do that?
- Topanga Matthews: The good people of Stupidtown.
- Eric Matthews: It's not pronounced Stupidtown!
- Topanga Matthews: How is it pronounced?
- Eric Matthews: St. Upidtown!
- Topanga Matthews: Oh. How St. Upid of me.
- Eric Matthews: I have been summoned. Why have I been brought here?
- Topanga Matthews: Because Cory thinks when it comes to helping people, you somehow turn into a genius.
- Riley Matthews: I'm in a fight with my best friend.
- Eric Matthews: There will be no losing friends. Lose one friend. Lose all friends. Lose yourself.
- Cory Matthews: You got this?
- Eric Matthews: Yeah, the people elected me mayor because they trust me with their issues.
- Riley Matthews: You mean political issues?
- Eric Matthews: No, don't know anything about those. No, they trust me with their people issues. Which it turns out everybody has, and they all seem to show up right about now. The enemy is not each other, guys. You're all going through the same thing.
- Cory Matthews: It's part of growing up.
- Riley Matthews: I'm a klutz.
- Maya Hart: I'm a pancake.
- Farkle Minkus: Squeak.
- Lucas Friar: Freak.
- Isaiah 'Zay' Babineaux: [about him being called 'Flatbutt'] That's why it hurts to sit!
- Eric Matthews: Now, which one of you is Riley's friend Malisha?
- Maya Hart: It's Maya.
- Eric Matthews: Oh, okay. So, what are you fighting about?
- Maya Hart: She didn't take my side.
- Riley Matthews: I couldn't take her side based on what was said, which is the problem with this whole thing, 'cause Maya is making too big of a deal of what was said.
- Eric Matthews: Uh-huh. Okay. Okay. Now, which one was she?
- Topanga Matthews: Cory was right to have faith in you. You really are a mature *normal* human being.
- Eric Matthews: I AM NOT!
- Topanga Matthews: Never mind.