Julie Bowen credited as playing...
Claire Dunphy
- Claire Dunphy: Do you have Haley's iCloud password?
- Alex Dunphy: Yeah, she gave it to me in a little envelope with her diary key and a list of things she's most afraid of.
- Alex Dunphy: Mom's trying to guess Haley's iCloud password, which, personally, I think is an invasion of her privacy. Ooh, try "password."
- Claire Dunphy: [Claire tries it, unsuccessfully] I'm kind of glad that didn't work.
- Phil Dunphy: Wait, I think I remember telling her to use something that people wouldn't know about her, like her favorite literary character.
- Claire Dunphy: [Claire types something] I'm in!
- Alex Dunphy: What? What was it?
- Claire Dunphy: Snoopy.
- Alex Dunphy: Wow. And that could be your new nickname.
- Phil Dunphy: [Talking about Andy] He's not an arsonist. Gloria hired him to take care of her baby.
- Claire Dunphy: Gloria. Right, of course.
- Phil Dunphy: You know how protective she is. I'm sure she had him thoroughly vetted.
- Gloria Delgado-Pritchett: [Claire calls Gloria] Hola!
- Claire Dunphy: Gloria, where did you find Andy?
- Gloria Delgado-Pritchett: At the park, chasing some children.
- Claire Dunphy: I can't believe she's pregnant.
- Phil Dunphy: Let's not jump to any conclusions.
- Claire Dunphy: Jump? Let's review. She's been moody, eating weird food, getting nauseous. She left in the middle of the night for a wedding chapel in Vegas with her secret love, and most suspicious of all, she bought a book!
- Alex Dunphy: Wait. I just thought of something.
- Claire Dunphy: What?
- Alex Dunphy: I'm going to be the first woman in my family not to get pregnant and drop out of college! Ooh, maybe *that* should be my essay.
- Claire Dunphy: I graduated from college.
- Phil Dunphy: Yeah, and Haley got kicked out of college before she got pregnant.