Bruce Campbell credited as playing...
Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams
- Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams: Wow. Last time I was here with a girl, I was hopin' to get laid. Didn't quite work out that way. I cut my hand off with a chainsaw, though. It was a fun weekend.
- Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams: Where's Pablo and Kelly?
- Amanda Fisher: We split up to look for you.
- Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams: Good, it's safer away from here.
- Amanda Fisher: Why would you just run off like that?
- Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams: I'm not big on goodbyes.
- Amanda Fisher: Ash, you shouldn't do this alone.
- Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams: I have to do it alone. Don't you get it? Everybody dies here. It's just a rule. Death, taxes, more death, and I don't pay taxes. So all I know is death.
- Amanda Fisher: Fuck the rules. I'm gonna help you end this.
- Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams: Lady, I like your style.
- Amanda Fisher: Wait, your ex-girlfriend is in the work shed?
- Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams: Part of her. It's complicated. Maybe I shouldn't go there.
- Amanda Fisher: Well, if you don't want to talk about it...
- Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams: She got possessed, I cut her head off with a shovel, then she did this crazy dance in the moon light, I put her head in a vice, and then I cut it with a chainsaw. But she did have a rockin' bod, though.
- Linda's Head: You can't save her. Everyone you care about dies.
- Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams: Shut up, I can get to her.
- Linda's Head: No, you can't! You don't need her. You already have a girlfriend, you have me. Come over here. I'll suck you off. I give good head. You can skull fuck me good. It's the best you're gonna get, Ash! No woman would want you!
- Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams: [looks at Linda's decapitated skull] Long time no see, Linda. Don't get up.
- Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams: Everybody dies here, it's just a rule. Death, taxes, more death and I don't pay taxes. So all I know is death.