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Stephen Colbert and Justin Roiland in The Ricks Must Be Crazy (2015)

Justin Roiland: Rick • Morty

The Ricks Must Be Crazy

Rick and Morty

Justin Roiland credited as playing...

Rick • Morty

Photos8

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Quotes12

  • Morty: What's wrong Rick? Is it the quantum carburetor or something?
  • Rick: Quantum carburetor? Jesus Morty, you can't just add a sci-fi word to a car word and hope it means something. Looks like something's wrong with the micro-verse battery.
  • Rick: We did it Morty! Now, lets get out of here and destroy this whole universe!
  • Business Alien: [taxi driver is confused] Excuse Me?
  • Morty: You guys, are the fucking worst! Your gods are a lie! Fuck you, fuck nature and fuck trees!
  • Rick: Wait for the ramp, Morty. They love the slow ramp. It really gets their dicks hard
  • Rick: Morty, there's nothing dishonest about what we're doing. Now slap on this antenna, these people need to think we're aliens
  • Rick: They named a holiday after me. Ricksgiving. They teach kids about me in school!
  • Zeep: I dropped out of school. It's not a place for smart people.
  • Morty: Oh, snap!
  • Rick: Nothing you do matters! Your existence is a lie!
  • Morty: Oh man. Where are we Rick?
  • Rick: Morty, remember eight seconds ago when
  • [Burps]
  • Rick: when you said, "Go inside what?" And I said, "The battery"? And then we showed up here, and I wasn't like, "Whoa, this is unexpected. This is not what I was expecting, Morty. What a perplexing mystery this is."
  • Morty: All right, all right. We're inside the battery. I get it. You don't have to bust my balls.
  • Rick: Morty, you gotta flip 'em off. I told them it means 'peace among worlds.' How hilarious is that!
  • Morty: All right, that's it! I'm out. I-I'm gonna go into the wilderness, and I'm gonna make a new life for myself among the tree people. It can't be worse than this.
  • Rick: Sure. Okay, Morty. Just be back before sundown or the tree people will eat you.
  • Morty: That's a myth! W-w-why are you trying to start a myth?
  • Rick: It's a prehistoric planet, Morty. Someone has to bring a little culture. And it certainly can't be someone
  • [to Zeep]
  • Rick: whose entire culture powers my brake lights!
  • Rick: I put a spatially tessellated void inside a modified temporal field until a planet developed intelligent life. I then introduced that life to the wonders of electricity, which they now generate on a global scale. And, you know, some of it goes to power my engine and charge my phone and stuff.
  • Morty: You have a whole planet sitting around making your power for you? That's slavery.
  • Rick: It's society. They work for each other, Morty. They pay each other. They buy houses. They get married and make children that replace them when they get too old to make power.
  • Morty: That just sounds like slavery with extra steps.
  • Rick: Ooh-la-la, someone's gonna get laid in college.
  • Kyle: It's not much now, but once I learn to accelerate the temporal field I'll be able to interact with any sentient life that evolves and then introduce them to the wonders of electricity via a pulley-based device I call a bloobleyank. But what they won't know is...
  • Zeep: You'll be taking most of their energy, yeah, yeah I get it.
  • Rick: It's showtime.
  • Zeep: You do realise this will make the flooblecrank obsolete? This is wrong, Kyle! What you're doing is wrong! You're basically...
  • [Rick mimes along]
  • Zeep: This is slavery, you're talking about creating a planet of slaves.
  • Rick: Told you, Zeep.
  • Kyle: Oh, they won't be slaves, they'll work for each other, and pay each other money...
  • Zeep: That just sounds like... slavery... with extra steps.
  • [Rounds on Rick]
  • Rick: What?
  • Zeep: Wait a minute, did you create my universe? Is my universe a miniverse?
  • Rick: Microverse!
  • Kyle: I prefer teenyverse.
  • Zeep: [Flicks off Rick's antennae] You bastard!
  • [Rick takes Zeep's mask and they fight]
  • Zeep: Much obliged!
  • Kyle: What the hell is happening?
  • Morty: Ah, this is healthy, trust me.
  • Rick: You're my battery motherfucker, that's all you are! I made you! Your microverse sucks and your miniverse is the size of a fucking lobster tank! It's wack!
  • Kyle: Are they not really aliens?
  • Morty: Nah, they're just a couple of crazy, wacky scientists. You know?
  • Kyle: So he made a universe, and that guy is from that universe, and that guy made a universe, and that's the universe where I was born? Where my father died. Where I couldn't make time for his funeral because I was working on my universe?
  • Morty: Ha ha ha, yeah! Science huh? Ain't it a thing? You know one time Rick shot his laser pistol right through my hand? I mean, you know, like old lady science! You know, she's a real, you gotta hang on tight, you know, because she bucks pretty hard! Oh my God, no!
  • [Kyle drives his craft into a cliff and it explodes]

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