Beanie Feldstein credited as playing...
Julie Steffans
- Julie Steffans: Miss Patty assigned you a role by the way, you just never showed up to claim it.
- Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: What role ?
- Julie Steffans: The Tempest.
- Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: There is no role of the Tempest!
- Julie Steffans: It is the titular role!
- Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: No! It's a made-up thing so we all can participate.
- Julie Steffans: You can't do anything unless you're the center of attention, can you!
- Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: Yeah, well you know, your mom's tits, they're fake! Totally fake!
- Julie Steffans: She made one bad decision at 19!
- Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: Two bad decisions!
- Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: If Danny and I get married and then his grandma died, I'd inherit the dream house.
- Julie Steffans: Wouldn't his parents get it?
- Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: Oh yeah, we'd have to kill them. And we'd have to kill his older brothers, too.
- Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: I just don't get why I'm not good at math. My dad is really good at math. Even Miguel has a math degree.
- Julie Steffans: Maybe it's your mom's fault.
- Sister Sarah Joan: I'm going to write you a citation Miss Walton. No more short skirts.
- [leaves]
- Jenna Walton: Sarah Joan is all up in my jock.
- Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: She's a cunt.
- Julie Steffans: Birdy, you like her.
- Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: Yeah but, she's a cunt.
- Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: In the tub I just - I scoot myself under, just like now, like this, and then the water just - whoop...
- Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson, Julie Steffans: Whoop.
- Julie Steffans: We are so gross.
- Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: I think I figured it out when I was like three or something.
- Julie Steffans: I use, I take the shower head...
- Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: Oh my God.
- Julie Steffans: This is embarrassing! I use that.
- Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: I don't know if mine is the right kind though. Maybe it's different when you actually have a penis in there, like it's more intense.
- Julie Steffans: Mine is pretty intense, I think.
- Julie Steffans: I don't even know how I got cast in my part.
- Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: Me neither. I was the one who had a dress and prepared a song.
- Julie Steffans: I know.
- Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: Now you're going to be all romantic with Danny on stage.
- Julie Steffans: It's probably my only shot at that, you know?