Patton Oswalt: Max

The Secret Life of Pets 2

Max

Rooster: Why is the kid in a cage? Is there something wrong with him? Does he have the fever?
Max: That's Liam. He likes to run.
Rooster: So let him run.
Max: Well, Liam's super fast. We blink and he's up a tree.
Rooster: So then your kid's up a tree? What's the problem?
Max: Well, he could fall.
Rooster: He might.
Max: And he hurts himself.
Rooster: So he got really high up in this hypothetical tree.
Max: I, uh...
Rooster: He gets hurt, he learns not to do it again. You know how many electric cords I've chewed?
Max: Like, multiple cords?
Rooster: One. It shocked me. Walked backwards for a week, but I never chewed another cord again.

Rooster: The first step of not being afraid is *acting* like you're not afraid. So, are you scared?
Max: [cowering down and shaking with fear] No.
Rooster: *Are* you scared?
Max: [brings himself up to full height with confidence] No! No, I'm not!
Rooster: Now you're talking.

Snowball: [Snowball is dressed in his superhero outfit] Good morning, New York City!
[starts singing his superhero theme as he's posing for a flight off]
Max: Snowball, what are you doing?
Snowball: What's it look like I'm doing? I'm doing superhero stuff.

Max: [comes up to him] Hey Rooster.
Rooster: Hey kid, good job today.
Max: Yeah? Well I... I got to admit I feel pretty good. I'm not so nervous around... the farm or you or... the turkey who won't stop folowing me!
Max: [looks at the turkey] Yeah, I SEE YOU, you weirdo!
Rooster: Hmmph.
[hops on top of the truck]
Max: Anyway I heard Katie say were leaving tomorrow... Oh uh...
Rooster: [Begins to howl]
Max: You want me to uh... You want me to go?
Rooster: [chuckles] Oh, it's just what we do out there. You wanna join me?
Max: [stammers] Oh but... Y-Yeah! Okay, cool!
[climbs up on top of the truck]
Rooster: Heh. You're ready to try. Awoooooooooooooooo!
Max: Awoooooo...
Rooster: Come on, kid, DEEPER, deep from your gut.
[joins in for a group howl]
Rooster: There you go.
Max: Heh.
[continues howling at the moon with Rooster]

[first lines]
Max: Ah kids. Everybody loves them, right? You'll probably love kids.
Additional Voices: [his dog taking his sandwich] Hey!
Max: I gotta admit. I don't. That's me by the way. I'm Max. I'm the little dog right there, grateful I'm not being piled on by a horde of children.
Additional Voices: [runs to them falls off on the ground gets up chucking] Wait for me!
Max: [frustrated] Ugh, can you believe that?
Duke: Heh heh! Having your kid looks like fun.
Additional Voices: Nah man, it ain't fun. i'm telling you once the humans bring a kid home, you're life ain't the same.
Additional Voices: [saw them riding an Old English Sheepdog then a kid was shouting] Heh. Seen it a billion times.