Selma Blair: Kendall

Mom and Dad

Kendall

Kendall Ryan: You're part of a family, Carly, and that means you love each other even when you can't stand each other, and you give a shit even when you don't give a shit.

Kendall Ryan: [as Brent bandages her gunshot] You got a gun? Another thing for your midlife crisis? What was the combination?
Brent Ryan: Josh's birthday.
[cut to Josh solving the combination]

Kendall Ryan: You bought a pool table?
Brent Ryan: Yeah, so?
Kendall Ryan: You don't even like pool. Can I ask how much this cost?
Brent Ryan: Don't worry about it.
Kendall Ryan: I kind of *have* to worry about it. I mean Christmas is coming up, do you really think that this is the right time to start building a man cave in the basement?
Brent Ryan: It's not a man cave, Kendall. I just thought, you know, like, like a family room.
Kendall Ryan: The whole house is a family room.
Brent Ryan: Okay, you see, I got a problem with that idea right there, because I bust my ass 6 days a week trying to pay this place down, and it's like a fucking obstacle course trying to get out the fucking front door. I mean one of these days, I'm gonna trip over one of Josh's toys and take a nose dive straight to the ER.
Kendall Ryan: What are you saying?
Brent Ryan: I'm saying maybe we need to have some boundaries, I'm saying maybe there needs to be a fucking grown up zone, and a fucking kids' zone!

Kendall Ryan: [Stops breaking down the door as the doorbell rings] Your parents?
Brent Ryan: That was today?

Kendall Ryan: Honey, your grandparents are coming for dinner tonight, remember?
Carly: Mom, really?
Kendall Ryan: What? You haven't seen them in months and they're not getting any younger, you know, so the 'movie' can wait.
Carly: Awesome, you and Grandma passive aggressively bitching at each other, and Grandpa telling his disgusting Vietnam stories. 'Pulled it out and killed the Charlie bastard with his own pigsticker!'
Kendall Ryan: Carly!
[to Sun-Yi]
Kendall Ryan: I am so sorry.
Sun-Yi: -M gan yiu, Mrs. Ryan, I'm the Chinese, Chinese is not the Charlie.

Kendall Ryan: You know, I want to trust you, Carly, really I do, your dad and I both do, but you don't make it easy on us when you shut us out.
[Carly stares at her phone]
Kendall Ryan: Do you mind not Facebooking when we're driving together? It's really the only time we have just the two of us.
Carly: 'Facebooking'?
Kendall Ryan: You know what I mean.
Carly: Yeah, whatever.
Kendall Ryan: You know, I really, really hate it when you say that.
[Carly ignores her]
Kendall Ryan: Amazing. Everything just revolves around you, doesn't it?
Carly: Doesn't everyone's world revolve around themselves? Who else should it revolve around?
Kendall Ryan: Well you're part of a family, Carly, it means that you love each other even when you can't stand each other, and that you give a shit even when you don't really give a shit.

Kendall Ryan: You could have a new cousin today, that is a big deal, and all you can think about is... you know, I don't even know what you think about, because you don't tell me anything. We used to be best friends, remember?
Carly: Okay well, that's not the case anymore, Mom, I have other friends.
Kendall Ryan: Right, see it's just for me, you and Josh are everything. So you don't get to just shut me out, okay? It's not fair.
Carly: God, it's not my fault you have no life!

Kendall Ryan: [after dance class] We are so over, I'm dying.
Barbara: Why do we do it? Killing ourselves to hold back Father Time for what, a few more months?
Kendall Ryan: Why do anything? I don't know, be healthy I guess.
Barbara: Be healthy my ass, it's not about being healthy, it's about being hot, and 'hot, skinny bitch' is in our rear view mirror.