- Maya: So he shut you down entirely?
- Adam: I don't know if I would say "shut down"...
- Maya: Really? Because it sounds like he heard your idea, took a giant shit all over it, used that shit to fertilize a garden growing organic, certified GMO-free vegetables... which he then ate and shit all over your idea again.
- Adam: OK. I'll say "shut down."
- Professor Merkin: Seinfeld is a seminal text, but for sheer Sartreian dread you can't beat "Friends." Coffee shops and existentialism just go together.
- Adam: Actually, the reason we don't have communism is your undermining of the interracial solidarity and class consciousness of the proletariat.
- Maya: You know it's really amazing to meet you. I really respect what you're doing, breaking ground as a woman in such a male dominated pursuit.
- Devine Write: What does me being a woman gotta do with it? I ain't spitting rhymes out of my vagina.
- Adam: Em's skill transcends race.
- White Racist: Talking about Em? He's the fucking goat man. You're right, he's better at putting words together than all these black guys.
- Adam: Go away.
- Maya: I would love a Carrot-Ginger juice, but could you substitute kale for the spinach, beet for the celery, mango for the apple, lime for the lemon, parsley for the ginger, and cucumber for the carrot?
- Maya: Oh, please, don't give me the sad puppy dog act. I know you think you're the hero of the story, and that I'm just the cliche controlling bitch girlfriend who the audience is supposed to hate. But have you ever stopped to think that I might be a bitch with a POINT?
- Adam: I think I accidentally merged the two calls.
- Maya: Adam? Who is this?
- Hunnid Gramz: Ohh, so you really IS a bitch, Yo, your voice sound sexy, I like a woman who sounds like she 'bout to make my ass pay alimony.
- Maya: Oh my god, PIG. And I am not saying that because you're black. And I'm not even assuming that you are black. Damn it, Adam, why do you always make me sound so RACIST?
- Adam: Sorry, Behn Grym told me that it's more respectful to say "nigga"
- Dean Hampton: The rock monster from the Fantastic Four said you could use the N-word?
- Professor Merkin: That's the whole point of the humanities, you can make up whatever you want as long as you're smart enough to justify it.
- Behn Grymm: Why are you talking to me? There's plenty of other N-words you could be asking about N-words.
- Adam: Yo shut the fuck up! You think you're a supervillain? I'm bout to tear your mask off. Cause now you're talking to the devil like Ivan Karamazov. You think cause you're a terrorist, moderate Arabic scholar preparing for Allah that you can't be served? You're not a suicide bomber just cause you got the eyebrows of an angry bird! So I'll go grab shay and then I'll bust you till the chopper jams, on your Falafel stand, from his taco van. You're dating a porn star! We all know what her vagina's touched. Most terrorists get seventy-two virgins. You got a bitch who fucked seventy-two guys at once! Do you think this shit's real? You call me a faggot and half of these guys collapse in laughter. But battle rap is so fucking corny, I'm a battle rapper! Here's an example. You caught shade with your girl and didn't throw a fist at the dude but you punched someone for getting in your face but if someone's getting in your bitch than it's cool? These battlers, they're all soft, they just pull the tough guy shit for the views. Well I'm all up in your face now so what the fuck is this bitch gonna do?
- Prospek: [after Megaton punches Adam] What the fuck man?
- Adam: The low love tap? That was real touching. But I just murdered my own friend so you should know that don't I feel nothing! You tap chins when you know you can't win. You thought you could leave me on the ground? I might have lost a tooth but, fuck it. I just beat you for the crown!