Sharon Horgan credited as playing...
Sharon Morris
- Rob Norris: Have you seen the news?
- Sharon Morris: No. Why?
- Rob Norris: There was an incident in town. A guy drove a car into a crowd of people in front of the M&M store.
- Sharon Morris: No, that was me. I wanted some M&Ms and I forgot my purse.
- Rob Norris: Honey, a guy died. Okay? There was a stampede. It's very upsetting.
- Sharon Morris: Yeah, I'll tell what's upsetting is you thought I was at the M&M store.
- Sharon Morris: You want to start running with me?
- Fran: Not really. Why?
- Sharon Morris: Because I've got fatty organs. And Rob won't run with me anymore 'cause he's scared of London. I don't want to join a gym because of the mirrors. Because of the people.
- Fran: Oh, and the smell. It's like every breath you take has wiggled its way through twenty pairs of sweaty buttocks.
- Sharon Morris: [Dave holds Daphne in a baby carrier] So, do you have Daphne stuck to you all the time?
- Dave: Sure.
- Sharon Morris: How do you shower?
- Dave: Oh, I have a waterproof one.
- Catherine: [Sharon laughs] Dave's a very involved parent. There's really not much for me to do outside of flopping out the odd tit.
- Dr. Harries: So, we got your test results back. I'm afraid your cholesterol level is quite high for a woman your age.
- Sharon Morris: You sure? My cholesterol level feels fine.
- Dr. Harries: Also, your bloods are indicating a high level of fat around your organs, and I have to say, your mobility isn't great.
- Sharon Morris: Wait, what does that mean?
- Dr. Harries: You couldn't touch your toes earlier.
- Sharon Morris: Some people just can't do that. It's like wiggling your ears, or moonwalking.
- Dr. Harries: The good news is, your weight is within the healthy limit for your age and height.
- Sharon Morris: So you're saying the package is the right size, but what's in the package is just shit?
- Dr. Harries: No.
- Sharon Morris: You're saying if you took a normal sized mannequin and filled it with margarine, that'd be me?
- Dr. Harries: That's not what I'm saying.
- Sharon Morris: Well, medically, that's exactly what you're saying.
- Dr. Harries: [Beat] Fine.