Kaley Cuoco credited as playing...
Penny Hofstadter
- [first lines]
- Penny Hofstadter: OK, I'm confused. Which one is Mr. Robot?
- Leonard Hofstadter: I'll give you a hint. We're watching Daredevil.
- [Sheldon storms in, followed by Amy]
- Sheldon Cooper: Will you two please inform Amy how much you enjoy adhering to a strict bathroom schedule!
- Penny Hofstadter: Can't.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Won't.
- Penny Hofstadter: Didn't.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Don't.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: I told you you can't regulate every aspect of our lives.
- Sheldon Cooper: I *can* if you'd just roll over and accept your fate.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: I'm sorry for bringing this over here.
- Penny Hofstadter: And believe me we know what you're going through.
- Leonard Hofstadter: And I, I think the most helpful thing we can tell you is no backsies.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Sheldon, I understand that you like things a certain way, and I am willing to make some concessions, but you have to be open to compromise.
- Penny Hofstadter: She's right; that's reasonable.
- Sheldon Cooper: Ohhh, look who's in favor of compromise: the woman who married Leonard Hofstadter.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Heyyy, she didn't compromise; she settled. There's a difference.
- Penny Hofstadter: Yeah, you tell 'em, babe.
- Sheldon Cooper: As a male I have an evolutionary drive to perpetuate my DNA, and restricting myself to a single partner is against my nature.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: We sleep together once a year; you want other partners?
- Sheldon Cooper: Don't blame me; blame your pal Biology. He's the pervert pulling the strings here.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: You want to see other people? Go see other people.
- Penny Hofstadter: Hope one of those people is a monkey, 'cause this is bananas.
- Sheldon Cooper: Anyway, I suppose an ice cream parlor will be a good place to meet other women.
- Penny Hofstadter: Oh, please! You're barely interested in a physical relationship with one person; why would you want to confuse and disappoint others?
- Sheldon Cooper: My mother was in bible study. I walked in the house expecting to find it empty, and I heard a sound, coming from my parents' bedroom. When I opened the door, I saw my father having relations with another woman.
- Penny Hofstadter: Oh, that's awful.
- Sheldon Cooper: I know. It's also why I never open a door without knocking three times. I mean the first one's traditional, but two and three are for people to get their pants on.
- [last lines]
- Sheldon Cooper: To prove how serious I am about us, I'm willing to take our relationship to the next level.
- [scene changes to their bathroom]
- Sheldon Cooper: Amy Farrah Fowler, will you share this toothbrush holder with me?
- Amy Farrah Fowler: I would love to.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Did we really need to be here for this?
- Penny Hofstadter: [choking up] Call me crazy, but I found it moving;
- Sheldon Cooper: Being with Amy has awaken the sexual beast within me. Whenever I see a woman walk by, I think "hubba-hubba" like any other man.
- Penny Hofstadter: You kiss your mother with that mouth? Cause it's fine.
- Sheldon Cooper: You are truly wise.
- Penny Hofstadter: Thank you.
- Sheldon Cooper: I'd say you're wise beyond your years, but you're getting up there.