Jason Mantzoukas credited as playing...
Adrian Pimento
- Charles Boyle: And now Nikolaj says he's too frightened to ever sleep again, so that's just superduper.
- Adrian Pimento: I don't understand what he's so scared about. If I was there to kill him, he never would've heard me.
- Charles Boyle: A thing you told him several times.
- Jake Peralta: God, Nikolaj is having such a rich childhood.
- Adrian Pimento: [Explaining why he was in an Uzbek prison] I got shot down smuggling ammo to a rebel group, flying an old Soviet prop plane. They tortured us. Made me eat my co-pilot's tongue. Oof, now I've got a taste for it.
- Rosa Diaz: In just 14 hours Amy put together the most amazing non-wedding wedding in history.
- Amy Santiago: Better than "Sleepless in Seattle".
- Adrian Pimento: Nope. That is also Nora Ephron. Kill yourself.
- Jake Peralta: You excited for being married?
- Adrian Pimento: Yeah! I love Rosa. I can't wait to just jam my tongue in her ear holes, and eat the hair off her head. Hoo! I'm giddy.
- Adrian Pimento: The universe is sending me a sign. And when the universe talks, I listen!
- Jake Peralta: Well, I personally don't even really believe in signs, so...
- Adrian Pimento: What? Then you deserve to die! The sign was real. If I ignore it and marry Rosa anyway, I'm basically asking the universe to stomp on my balls.
- Jake Peralta: Okay, good point. Hey, Gina, I could use your help here. You wanna maybe weigh in on this one?
- Gina Linetti: Yeah, sure. You're right. The marriage is cursed.
- Jake Peralta: What? No! You weighed in wrong.
- Gina Linetti: I'm sorry, Jake, it's an omen. And I'm not taking your side against the universe's. It's hundred of years old.
- Jake Peralta: What if there was something in the universe that could prove to you that you should still get married?
- Gina Linetti: What would that be?
- Gina Linetti: Finding his grandma's earrings. Or we could cut Rosa's ears off, and then it's like the earrings don't even make sense.
- Adrian Pimento: Thank you! Someone's trying to help.