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Family Guy (1999)

Seth MacFarlane: Peter Griffin • Brian Griffin • Stewie Griffin • ...

Cop and a Half-Wit

Family Guy

Seth MacFarlane credited as playing...

Peter Griffin • Brian Griffin • Stewie Griffin • Glenn Quagmire • Tom Tucker

Photos5

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Quotes5

  • Chris Griffin: Is that a Michael Sam jersey?
  • Stewie Griffin: Yep, two boy names. Doubly masculine.
  • Brian Griffin: Like George Michael?
  • Stewie Griffin: Shut up!
  • Brian Griffin: Come on, Stewie. Are you still hung up about that woman at the grocery store, thinking you were a girl?
  • Chris Griffin: Elton John... is another.
  • Stewie Griffin: It has nothing to do with that, Brian. I just thought it'd be good to take up a sport. You know, like boys do.
  • Brian Griffin: You don't have to play football to prove you're a boy.
  • Chris Griffin: Barney Frank... is yet another one.
  • Brian Griffin: Chris, please. Actually, you know what? Ricky Martin. There's a bunch of these.
  • Stewie Griffin: [after suffering a concussion] Is anybody gonna answer that telephone?
  • Chris Griffin: He keeps thinking the phone is ringing, Brian.
  • Brian Griffin: Well, at least he's talking again. I think that means he's getting better.
  • Stewie Griffin: Is it day or night? I don't... I don't care. I just wanna know. LOIS, ANSWER THE BLOODY PHONE!
  • Brian Griffin: No, no, no! We don't need Lois.
  • [chuckles]
  • Brian Griffin: Chris, pretend to answer the phone.
  • Chris Griffin: Uh... uh, hello? Okay, yes, one second. MOM, IT'S FOR YOU!
  • Brian Griffin: What? No, damn it, Chris! Um, um... I'll take that. Hello, this is Brian Griffin. Actually, I already received The New York Times and I always enjoy finishing the crossword puzzle.
  • Chris Griffin: You're bragging to nobody?
  • Joe Swanson: Sorry I'm late. The pantry down at the station needed new shelf paper.
  • Glenn Quagmire: That's what they got you doing down there?
  • Joe Swanson: Well, that, and I'm also in charge of the office gerbil. And let me tell you, Lieutenant Nibbles is quite a handful. He'll only eat real cheese. Not processed.
  • Cleveland Brown: You buy special cheese for a gerbil?
  • Joe Swanson: Yeah, I have to. He outranks me.
  • Peter Griffin: You get stuff, I want stuff!
  • Stewie Griffin: You do me an honor, leftenant, but my dance card is full.

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