- Nadia: The universe is trying to fuck with me and I refuse to engage.
- Nadia: I think I'm dead.
- Jordana: We're all dead!
- Lizzy: Pfft, see's a Fellini film *once*...
- Nadia: Fun is for suckers, Max. Two minutes ago I turned thirty-six, and staring down the barrel of my own mortality always beats fun.
- Lizzy: However old you feel, Nahds, you sound twenty-two.
- Nadia: Thank you. It's my bad attitude that keeps me young.
- Ruth: Why don't we sit crooked and talk straight?
- Nadia: Hey, ah, you're a good person to ask this. Do ladies have mid-life crises?
- Lizzy: Why, 'cause I'm dating a twenty-two-year-old woman?
- Maxine: Dating?
- Lizzy: Fine, fucking a twenty-two-year-old.
- Nadia: Does she know what 9/11 is?
- Lizzy: Does anyone?
- Lizzy: Aren't you a little young to be having a mid-life crisis?
- Nadia: I smoke, what, like, two packs a day; I have the internal organs of a man twice my age; if I make it to my low seventies I will be SHOCKED.
- Nadia: Do you ever think it's weird - y'know, just, like, partying in an old yeshiva school?
- Maxine: Why would it be weird?
- Nadia: Because this was once, y'know, a sacred place.
- Maxine: This is New York. Real estate is sacred.
- Mike: Why didn't you talk like this before we fucked?
- Nadia: I didn't know you liked this type of shit. I thought you were a real sick fuck, but now I see you're pretty deep actually.
- Mike: Why don't you come over here and sit on my face right now?
- Nadia: I would, but... I just called you an Uber.
- Nadia: Okay, how are you?
- John: You really want to know?
- Nadia: I do.
- John: Well, my divorce is straight up harrowing at this point, and the last six months of my life have been an awesome lot of personal failure and other people's misery.
- Nadia: ...In a fun way?
- Lizzy: What's up with the baby?
- Maxine: I don't know, but if nobody eats my chicken I'm gonna fucking kill myself.
- Maxine: Beautiful birthday baby!
- Mike: Where'd you send them?
- Nadia: A hardware store that closed in 1996.