Chad James credited as playing...
Boomstick
- Wiz: Emotions can be powerful things.
- Boomstick: Ugh, are we really gonna talk about feelings and crying and stuff?
- Wiz: Well, yes, and how they fuel some pretty powerful magic.
- Boomstick: Sounds good, like with Raven, the half-demon sorceress from the Teen Titans.
- Wiz: And Twilight Sparkle, the magical prodigy from "My Little Pony".
- Boomstick: Yep, really doing this again.
- Wiz: A strong emotion can drastically change a person. Fear can trigger instincts necessary for survival. Anger can increase adrenaline for incredible feats of strength.
- Boomstick: And for this edgy-looking chick with a wicked cloak, that's kind of her thing. This is Raven.
- Wiz: From the day Raven was born in her home dimension of Azarath, she wasn't the most popular girl around.
- Boomstick: Yeah, it's not exactly a good sign when, right as you're born, the sky turns black and the whole world suddenly smells like farts.
- Wiz: See, Raven is the daughter of a human mother and a fearsome demon.
- Boomstick: Who is literally made up of hatred. Not even kidding.
- Wiz: Because of her heritage, Raven's own mental state holds the key to a fearsome inner power. She is an empath, a mage who can sense, create and manipulate emotions.
- Boomstick: So her powers are all about feelings and stuff? That's pretty lame.
- Wiz: Tell that to her when she scrambles your brain or forces you to feel so greedy, you steal from your boss.
- Boomstick: [low voice] Oh, you don't need to convince me to do that.
- Wiz: Wait, what?
- Boomstick: [laughs] Uh, I mean, yeah, that's pretty intense, but hey, she's got a lot more deadliness packed away under that cool cloak.
- Wiz: High above the peaceful Ponyville, the city of Canterlot rests among the mountaintops. There, a young filly had dreams as big as Canterlot Castle itself. Her name was Twilight Sparkle.
- Boomstick: [sighs] Here we go again. I mean, we've seen a pony that breaks the sound barrier, and one that breaks physics, so what crazy powerful thing can this one do, Wiz?
- Wiz: Hold your horses, Boomstick, we're "mare-ly" out of the gate.
- Boomstick: Ugh, reign it in, Wiz. Your lame puns are "mustang" with my script.
- Wiz: Little Twilight wanted to learn magic at Princess Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns. After a very, uh, eventful entrance exam, she didn't just get accepted into the school, she became Celestia's protégé.
- Boomstick: Which is kind of a big deal, since Celestia is pretty much pony god of the sun.
- Wiz: Not only that, Twilight also earned her Cutie Mark.
- Boomstick: Oh, I remember those! It's that magical tramp stamp a pony gets when they grow up.
- Wiz: Ehh, close enough? Twilight's Cutie Mark symbolized her life's calling: specifically, her destiny in mastering the art of magic.
- Boomstick: This peppy purple pony wasted no time and hit the books to practice hard. By the time she was an adult, she'd read her entire collection of 20,000 books! What a nerd.
- Wiz: Boomstick, have you ever read a book before?
- Boomstick: Do gun manuals count?
- Wiz: Sure, why not?
- Boomstick: Oh, there we go.
- Wiz: When she was eighteen years old, Raven met her father for the first time, and it... uh, didn't go very well.
- Boomstick: Yeah, demon dad shot her mom with a grandma laser. That pissed off Raven so much, she finally let loose.
- Wiz: This shadowy figure is her Soul-Self, an extension of her spirit, and manifestation of the powers inherited from Trigon. Raven often wields it as her primary means of offense and defense, though it can function on its own.
- Boomstick: I wish I had a pet bird that could do what the Soul-Self can. This beauty lets Raven fly, use its eyes and ears, or just punch people like a big ol' battering bird.
- Wiz: It can drain the energy and powers of others, and also serves as a sort of pocket dimension, which Raven can trap a limited number of foes and objects within.
- Boomstick: Talk about convenient. But she can do way more, she can levitate, teleport, heal others, cast energy shields, phase through walls, and blast people with mystical energy beams.
- [makes firing sounds]
- Wiz: Twilight learned all sorts of powerful and useful magic. She knows so many spells, it would take well over an hour to describe them all. Her memory is so crystal clear, she can recall a complex spell after a mere glance.
- Boomstick: But here's some highlights: she can move stuff with her mind, shoot concussive energy blasts, raise magic shields, and rapid fire teleport.
- Wiz: She can manipulate gravity, ignite things on fire, freeze others in place, walk on clouds, and even mastered the transfiguration spell. As a filly, she transformed her own parents into plants.
- Boomstick: Talk about weird.
- Wiz: She's even transformed a single apple into a nest of bird eggs, which, uh, hatched somehow.
- Boomstick: Did she just create life?
- Wiz: Yeah, but Twilight's magic doesn't just stem from her vast knowledge of spells and history. In the world of My Little Pony, magic is drawn from and controlled by a unicorn's emotions.
- Boomstick: Ugh, here comes the touchy-feely stuff.
- Wiz: The stronger a unicorn feels about something or someone, the stronger their magic becomes.
- Wiz: [about Raven's powers] There is one drawback: to wield her power, Raven must embrace emotion, and too much emotion risks opening her mind to Trigon's corruption.
- Boomstick: When she gives into her darker side, her entire personality changes.
- Wiz: Under a new persona, appropriately named Dark Raven.
- Boomstick: Dark Raven is stronger, tougher, and freakier then your everyday Raven. She can shoot lasers from her eyes, disintegrate stuff with her hand beams, and shapeshift, and her Soul-Self is so powerful, it can wipe most people off the face of the earth in an instant.
- Wiz: However, Dark Raven's incredible capabilities are a double edged sword. By tapping into her father's demonic powers, she risks transporting Trigon himself to the living realm, kick-starting devastation across the universe.
- Boomstick: Kick-starting? Wonder what the tier rewards are like for that? Pledge twenty bucks and get an autograph from Satan.
- Wiz: Thankfully, she has been able to free herself from Trigon's control, granting her unlimited access to her own magical abilities.
- Boomstick: Sometimes she even wears white to celebrate the occasion. Or is that just for her wedding with Beast Boy? Oh, wait, that never happened! These comic books reboot way too often for any relationships to actually have lasting consequences. Silly me.
- Wiz: Last, but not least, there's Raven's golden form, a spiritual body free from Trigon's influence, which manifested after she turned evil and had to be killed by her friends, the Teen Titans.
- Boomstick: Oh, that's messed up.
- Wiz: It happens a lot, actually.
- Wiz: Across Equestria, Twilight Sparkle is one of the few ponies to master the most powerful magic of all: the magic of friendship.
- Boomstick: Okay Wiz, I know a metaphor when I see it: "Isn't a night out with the girls so magical?"
- Wiz: Oh, no, no, that's not it at all. In truth, friendship is the only weapon powerful enough to defeat Equestria's most dangerous enemies.
- Boomstick: What? They weaponized friendship? Awesome! Hey, Wiz, your my best buddy, friends forever, come here, gimme a hug.
- [pause]
- Boomstick: Where are the friendship lasers?
- Wiz: Get off me.
- Boomstick: Uh, yeah, oops, I-I slipped, ahem.
- Wiz: Twilight's friendship magic is at its most powerful when focused through the Elements of Harmony. When used together, these ancient artifacts are a near unstoppable force, even capable of overpowering the villain Tirek after he stole Twilight's powers, along with the rest of Equestria's. Twilight's crown, along with her personal element, contains a powerful magic in its own right, enough to literally change the fabric of reality in another dimension with its mere presence.
- Wiz: Raven's accomplished plenty of incredible feats.
- Boomstick: She's bent steel girders with her magic, toughed out getting thrown butt first into a brick wall so hard it broke - the wall, not her butt - and even helped Terra, a fellow Titan, raise the Teen Titans headquarters and the island it's on.
- Wiz: Terra alone was barely able to stop the island's descent, and together, they pushed it back up to its rightful place. This means Raven lifted more than half of the island's weight. The Titan's Tower island is similar in location and size to Alcatraz, which has a with of 559 yards. Assuming the most likely granite composition and accounting for a 30% hollow interior, Raven's energy output would need to be about fourteen million megawatt-hours. That's enough energy to power all of New York City for over three years.
- Boomstick: [about Twilight] We gotta talk about those wings of hers. She was born a unicorn, but after completing an ancient spell about, what else, friendship, she transformed into an Alicorn, a mix between a unicorn and a Pegasus, and a chance to sell just a whole ton more merchandise.
- Wiz: It's a good thing, too. Alicorn magic is leagues more powerful than a plain unicorn's, and Twilight needed the extra boost to defend Equestria as its newest princess.
- Boomstick: Like when she fought that Tirek guy.
- Wiz: After Tirek absorbed the magic from Equestria's entire population, Twilight was forced to confront him herself while wielding the power of four Alicorns.
- Boomstick: When did it become "Dragonball Z" with baby girl horse toys? Anyway, check out how Tirek rocketed Twilight straight into this mountain, and she was totally fine thanks to her magic shield.
- Wiz: By comparing Twilight's apparent size just before impact to her actual size of approximately four feet tall, we can estimate the distance she was thrown to be about 145 feet. Tirek then closed this distance at 64.5 miles per hour, combined with his estimated weight of over 31,000 pounds. Twilight's shield had to stand up to over eight million newtons of force.
- Boomstick: You know what? Forget it, I'm on board with this pony stuff.
- Boomstick: Raven's Soul-Self can survive thirty thousand feet below the surface of the ocean with no problem.
- Wiz: That's almost 14,700 pounds per square inch, 42 times the PSI needed to crack most bones.
- Boomstick: And it's tough enough to survive laser blasts from aliens that hurt Donna Troy, who can survive moon-busting attacks.
- Wiz: The villain Sparta's lasers could destroy people in an instant, which requires nearly three billion joules of energy, and Raven's Soul-Self powered through several of these blasts and held together.
- Boomstick: The Soul-Self is also stupidly fast. It once flew from New York City to Blue Valley, Nebraska, and back in less than five minutes.
- Wiz: The distance between those cities is 1,166 miles as the crow, er, raven flies. To make this trip in time, Raven's Soul-Self must've flown more than 36 times the speed of sound.
- Boomstick: Not impressed? Well, when she was golden ghosty Raven, she flew between the Earth and moon like it was nothing.
- Wiz: Twilight is tough enough to survive bombardment by anvils and pianos, fast enough to fly over three hundred miles per hour without using any spells, and even strong enough to lift and carry a rock weighing four-and-a-half tons.
- Boomstick: Her telekinesis is strong enough to lift a 340 ton bear, and even uproot this giant... flower tree thing, and with the other Alicorn's magic, she can move the sun and the moon. Okay, yeah, friendship power is way better than expected.
- Wiz: However, if Twilight has one glaring weakness, it's her unwavering neurosis.
- Boomstick: Oh, you mean how she's obsessed over staying organized, and if one small thing goes wrong, she totally loses it?
- Wiz: Yes, she has a, well, difficult time dealing with unexpected stress. More often than not, she even makes bad situations worse before starting to fix them.
- Boomstick: But hey, when push comes to shove, Twilight Sparkle pulls her weight and more.
- Wiz: [after describing Raven's powers] Plenty of impressive feats, but unfortunately, Raven's powers have daunting and often costly limits. When the Soul-Self takes damage, Raven feels the pain herself.
- Boomstick: She's kinda like a glass cannon, and overtaxes her own abilities pretty frequently.
- Wiz: But don't disregard this as only mere physical ineptitude. When Raven utilizes emotions in combat, she tackles that emotion head on. The more negative the emotion, the more pain she feels.
- Boomstick: And don't forget, she's also struggling not to feel so Satan doesn't show up. With all that going on at once, it's no wonder she passes out sometimes.
- Wiz: But with the help of her friends, and her adoptive Azarathian family, Raven eventually overcame Trigon's iron grip and defeated him.
- Boomstick: Yeah, you'd think a guy like Trigon would think twice before messing with someone as powerful as Raven.
- [Raven has vanquished Twilight Sparkle]
- Boomstick: Dear Princess Celestia: Today I learned that the only thing more powerful than friendship is a giant bird spirit colliding into me at mach 36!
- Wiz: This was a tricky one. Both Raven and Twilight possess numerous spells and techniques that could end the other quickly and easily.
- Boomstick: Since they were pretty even in how many ways they could finish each other off, this fight really came down to strength, durability, and performance.
- Wiz: First of all, it's pretty obvious Raven's telekenesis has been shown to be much stronger than Twilight's.
- Boomstick: But Wiz, what about when Twilight moved the sun and moon?
- Wiz: That's when she had the magic of Princess Celestia and Luna, and it's pretty well established that only their specific type of magic can move those celestial bodies. With her own magic, Twilight has never shown anything close to the kind of force Raven used to lift the Teen Titans tower.
- Boomstick: Raven had the durability advantage, too. Remember how Twilight's shield held up against the hit a little over eight million newtons? Well, Raven's Soul-Self is tougher than Donna Troy, who can shrug off a blast worth 290 sextillion newtons! That's, uh, 16 more zeroes in case you're wondering.
- Wiz: And don't forget Twilight had the power of four alicorns at that time. The shield wouldn't have saved her from Raven's Soul-Self anyway.
- Boomstick: Not only could it absorb Twilight's powers and emotions, and not only was it capable of operating even when Raven was unconscious, but it also made a mean dive-bomber.
- Wiz: Raven's Soul-Self could fly at speeds exceeding mach 36. Since it's often been used as a battering ram against enemies, we know it has mass, but not exactly how much. However, given its size, strength, and durability far exceeds Raven's own, its mass is likely greater than hers.
- Boomstick: Let's just lowball it and say they're equal, all right?
- Wiz: Sure! Adding Raven's mass to the mach 36 calculation, the Soul-Self's ramming force at top speeds comes to fifteen million newtons of force, FAR greater than what Twilight's shield has sustained.
- Boomstick: Ain't no pony walking away from that! Plus, Twilight's positive attitude meant Raven didn't even have to worry about pain when using her emotions inside against her.
- Wiz: While they may have matched each other in spells and skill, Raven's more powerful traits and exceptional Soul-Self earn her a hard fought victory.
- Boomstick: Yep, Raven really ponied up for this one.
- Wiz: The winner is Raven.