- Sara Lance: [following the Beatles' arrival in New York] Hey, Z, if you had to sleep with one, which one would it be?
- Zari Tomaz: How can you even tell them apart?
- Ray Palmer: Well, Paul's the cute one, George is the quiet one, there's Ringo...
- Mick Rory: Never met an Englishman I haven't wanted to punch in the face.
- Nate Heywood: Relax, Mick. If it wasn't for the British Invasion, there'd be no Rolling Stones, no Led Zep. No Black Sabbath.
- Mick Rory: Black Sabbath.
- Nate Heywood: Yep.
- Mick Rory: Well, then we... we need to protect these mopheads from whatever's screwing up history.
- Sara Lance: Jeez, who died?
- [seeing Nate's look]
- Sara Lance: Oh, come on. We just met the Beatles and saved Fourth of July.
- Nate Heywood: No, it's cool; it's just all becoming... I don't know. Old hat.
- Ray Palmer: Yeah, we did spend all of last year returning displaced people to their proper place in history.
- Mick Rory: Four years doing the same old crap.
- Zari Tomaz: Yeah, I'm beginning to think Wally had the right idea; taking time off, clearing his head, traveling the world. Speaking of the same old crap, isn't that what he did last year?
- Zari Tomaz: So, Gideon sent us on a wild goose chase. This event in history is playing out exactly as it should.
- Paul Revere: [appearing] The British are coming! The British are coming!
- Ray Palmer: Interesting fact: the real Paul Revere didn't actually say...
- [seeing him]
- Ray Palmer: Oh, my god, it's Paul Revere!
- Nate Heywood: Look, all I know is Constantine promised us new, mysterious monsters, so where are they all hiding?
- Sara Lance: I'm confused. We are all happy that there was only one dragon, right? We don't want to be fighting werewolves in the Alamo.
- Nate Heywood: Eh.
- Ray Palmer: Well, it would be good for our ratings.
- Zari Tomaz: What ratings?
- Ray Palmer: Oh, you don't know? The Time Bureau rates all their employees. But don't worry. We-we have a few dedicated fans.
- Zari Tomaz: Yeah, Gary doesn't count.
- Mick Rory: Who gives a damn about Time Pig ratings? I want dragons.
- Sara Lance: What is wrong with you guys? Don't you get it? Constantine was wrong. Our crazy plan to let Mallus out worked. Finally, we're not screw-ups forced to clean up our own mess. For once in our lives, we are actual heroes.
- Ava Sharpe: Captain Lance, I would like you and your team to report to the Time Bureau immediately.
- Sara Lance: Copy that. Gideon, set a course for Star City.
- Ava Sharpe: I'm not talking about our field office, Ms. Lance. I meant our Time Bureau headquarters in D.C. Over and out.
- Sara Lance: [Ava's hologram ends] Damn it! Who told Ava about the dragon?
- Ava Sharpe: On behalf of the Time Bureau, I would like to recognize Captain Lance and her crew for fixing the final anachronism. Congratulations.
- Sara Lance: What does that even mean?
- Ava Sharpe: Well, it means that...
- [ushering Gary out of the way]
- Ava Sharpe: ...Paul Revere was the final crack in the timeline. You, my friends, fixed history.
- Nate Heywood: The same history we broke.
- Sara Lance: [through gritted teeth] Just take the win.
- Mick Rory: I don't want your stinking medal.
- Ava Sharpe: There's an open bar.
- Mick Rory: Where?
- Zari Tomaz: [Ray finds a warrant for Nora Darhk's arrest] Gee, I really wonder how she managed to escape from the Time Bureau.
- Ray Palmer: Yeah. I mean... I mean, if I had to... if had to guess, I'd probably say that someone must have given Nora her dead father's Time Stone. And furthermore, that someone must have done it in hopes that she would turn over a new leaf in life.
- Zari Tomaz: Sounds like that someone forgot about Nora's serious lack of ethics - around, you know, murder, for one. But that someone must have had a really big heart to give her a second chance. You're a good guy, Ray Palmer.
- Sara Lance: You were right.
- John Constantine: Ah. What was that, now?
- Sara Lance: You were right! There's a magical creature at Woodstock. Now let's go!
- John Constantine: You know, for someone with a time traveling machine, you seem to be in an awful hurry.
- Sara Lance: John, the unicorn has already gored two hippies.
- John Constantine: [interested] Ohh... a unicorn?
- Sara Lance: Yeah.
- John Constantine: Well, all right, I'm in. But first, I need to know, was any of your team musked by the beast?
- Sara Lance: If that's what you're calling its sparkle sauce, then, yeah. Why?
- John Constantine: Oh, they're in for... one hell of a ride.
- John Constantine: Look, this is your bloody mess, Sara, so stop playing tiddlywinks with the missus and get ready for the fight that's coming.
- Sara Lance: What if this is who I am now?
- John Constantine: Really?
- [looking around and letting out a sardonic whistle]
- John Constantine: This is who you are? Fuzzy throws and... fluffy pink slippers?
- Sara Lance: I like my pink fluffy slippers.
- Sara Lance: Okay, reunion's over. Time to go.
- [chanting an incantation, he drops a handful of bones on the counter]
- Sara Lance: What am I looking at?
- John Constantine: The knuckle bones of a martyred saint, obviously. They act as a divining rod able to detect the presence of beings not belonging to our world.
- Sara Lance: My team spent the last five months scouring the timeline for another one of your mystical creatures. You wanna know what we found? Nothing.
- Ava Sharpe: [surprised to see Constantine] What the hell are you doing here?
- [Sara surreptitiously hides the bones on the counter]
- Ava Sharpe: Is everything all right?
- Sara Lance: Yeah, everything is great.
- John Constantine: I just telling Sara...
- Sara Lance: About an exorcism that he has to do tomorrow in Georgetown. It's really nothing you wanna hear before bedtime.
- [ushering him out]
- Sara Lance: Come back again soon now, John. Don't be shy about that doorbell.
- John Constantine: I'll be seeing you around, Sharpie.
- Ava Sharpe: Should I be worried about your ex-lover breaking into my apartment, or...
- Sara Lance: Well, I thought that... this was our apartment.
- Ava Sharpe: You are smooth.
- [kissing her neck, then heading back upstairs]
- Ava Sharpe: Don't forget the bubbly.
- Sara Lance: [the bones Constantine left behind start to clatter, and one stands upright] Bollocks.
- Nate Heywood: Mick, what are you still doing here?
- Mick Rory: Machine's still spinning, and I'm still standing.
- Nate Heywood: You know what? Hook me up with one of those.
- [pouring a margarita]
- Nate Heywood: Now that we fixed our last anachronism, it's only a matter of time before the Bureau puts us out to pasture, which blows, because being a Legend was the only thing I was good at.
- Mick Rory: Well, speak for yourself. I was a great criminal.
- Nate Heywood: [Mick breaks into a car] I could have just called us an Uber.
- Mick Rory: You ready to steal something, Pretty?
- Nate Heywood: Um...
- [blowing a raspberry]
- Nate Heywood: Yeah. I could do some light theft.
- Mick Rory: What is this, spring break? I'm talking about a felony. Now get in!
- Nate Heywood: You know what, Mick? If we're gonna rob a house, we really should make sure there's stuff in there worth stealing. And I think I know just the neighborhood.
- Nate Heywood: [Mick prepares to use a garden gnome to break into a house] Whoa, Mick, wait, wait, wait! You are so aggressive.
- [taking out a hidden key]
- Nate Heywood: Why don't you look for a spare key?
- Mick Rory: Good spotting, Pretty.
- Nate Heywood: [sarcastic] Yeah. I'm a real criminal mastermind.
- Nate Heywood: We didn't mean to scare you, mom. I thought you'd be up at Martha's Vineyard this time of year.
- Dorothy Heywood: Oh, we were! But your father just took a very exciting job at the Pentagon.
- Nate Heywood: We'll... we'll get going, right, Mick?
- Mick Rory: Good idea.
- Dorothy Heywood: Don't be ridiculous. Um, Mr... Rory, do you like, uh, sandwiches?
- Mick Rory: Bet your ass I do, ma'am.
- Sara Lance: I got a hunch there might be a monster loose in history.
- Gary Green: Like the dragon you made me not tell Director Sharpe about?
- Sara Lance: Exactly.
- Gary Green: [searching] No. The timeline's only showing a few burps. This is the only signficant one.
- Sara Lance: What if there's a creature that no one's noticed yet?
- Gary Green: Well, the only way people wouldn't notice a monster is if it was hiding.
- Sara Lance: [seeing a timeline "burp" at Woodstock] Or if they were on drugs. I'm gonna go check it out.
- Gary Green: Ooh, I'll come with!
- Sara Lance: Nope.
- Gary Green: But if you're going back to 1969, you're gonna need...
- Sara Lance: [holding up his watch] Your time courier.
- Zari Tomaz: Going somewhere, Raymond? And don't give me any of that "routine maintenance on the jumpship" crap.
- Ray Palmer: Yeah, no. I wouldn't do that. I... I had Gideon monitor the Time Bureau. Someone over there pulled up unusual activity in Woodstock, 1969.
- Zari Tomaz: You think it's Nora, and if the Time Bureau finds her first, she's gonna tell them you're the one who helped her escape. Ray, I'm not gonna let you get on that jumpship.
- Ray Palmer: But...
- Zari Tomaz: Not without me.
- Ray Palmer: [sighing in relief] Oh, good. I was not looking forward to dealing with those hippies on my own.
- Zari Tomaz: What's a hippie?
- Zari Tomaz: So, tell me, why would Nora Time Stone to the least evil event in history?
- Ray Palmer: Well, who knows? Maybe she's turning over a new, non-evil leaf, inspired by yours truly.
- Zari Tomaz: What is that?
- Ray Palmer: Oh, it's my old trusty Eagle Scout compass. I thought if we could locate the epicenter of the temporal disturbance the old-fashioned way.
- Zari Tomaz: [unenthused] Oh, it sounds like a blast, Ray.
- Ray Palmer: Yeah!
- Ray Palmer: Who would wanna kill hippies at Woodstock? Literally ripping people's hearts out!
- Zari Tomaz: Now that's the Nora I remember.
- Dorothy Heywood: You certainly can eat a lot of sandwiches, Mr. Rory. Where did you get those big muscles?
- Mick Rory: Prison.
- Henry Heywood: So you just drop in on us in the middle of the night, after barely a phone call for the past two years?
- Nate Heywood: I know, dad, I'm sorry. I've just been... busy.
- Henry Heywood: Busy doing what?
- Nate Heywood: History stuff. You know, the same stuff you never took seriously.
- Henry Heywood: Maybe that's because deductive historical reconstruction isn't an actual profession! That... I'm sorry. So should I have your mother just grab her checkbook now, or would you prefer your friend here swipe it out of her purse on the way out?
- Mick Rory: It would be easy either way.
- Nate Heywood: I don't want your money, dad.
- Henry Heywood: Then why are you here?
- Nate Heywood: Honestly, I don't know.
- Henry Heywood: You don't... we had a name for people like you, back in my day.
- Nate Heywood: Oh, here comes the big rant about hippies. Go ahead.
- Henry Heywood: To tell the truth, I have nothing but pity for those people.
- Nate Heywood: Yeah, since when?
- Henry Heywood: Since they were slaughtered like lambs back in '69. Look, I'm not saying the Woodstock massacre was their fault, but it wasn't not their fault, either.
- Nate Heywood: [sharing a look with Mick] Mom, thanks for the sandwiches!
- [they stand to leave]
- Nate Heywood: There's something wrong with history.
- Ray Palmer: Not Noras. Hi! Not Nora, not Nora...
- [seeing a pregnant hippie]
- Ray Palmer: Definitely not Nora.
- Zari Tomaz: Ray, I really don't need to hear your inner dialogue.
- Ray Palmer: Sorry, I'm just... I'm-I'm-I'm nervous and upset. I mean, how could she be so heartless? Pun not intended.
- Zari Tomaz: Well, her father did give her over to a demon-loving cult, so...
- Sara Lance: Nora Darhk is here?
- Ray Palmer: Sara?
- Zari Tomaz: Hey, what are you doing at Woodstock?
- Sara Lance: Probably the same thing as you are, looking for whatever is messing with history. Huh. I think I just saw Joan Baez talking to Carlos Santana. Woodstock...
- Nate Heywood: Turns into a massacre.
- Ray Palmer: Nate! You're here, too?
- Sara Lance: Okay, what is going on?
- Nate Heywood: Woodstock is no longer remembered as three days of peace and love, but instead, the end of the hippie movement. Reports from survivors are sketchy, at best. But what they all could agree upon was that there was a series of grisly murders that ultimately lead to a deadly stampede when 400,000 kids try to escape the festival at once.
- Zari Tomaz: Yeah, Ray and I just saw a body in the woods with a gaping hole in its chest. We think that Nora did it.
- Sara Lance: Well, that's a relief.
- Ray Palmer: It is?
- Sara Lance: Yeah, it means we're in the clear. Look, it's not our fault the Time Bureau let Nora escape.
- Nate Heywood: [hearing a call to check something out] Don't panic, I left Mick alone here. He's itching to punch a hippie.
- Ray Palmer: [seeing a unicorn] Is that what I think it is?
- Nate Heywood: Twilight Sparkle come to life.
- Ray Palmer: You're a brony?
- Nate Heywood: Dude, we're brony bros.
- Nate Heywood: [after a unicorn gores a hippie] Oh, my god. Is it...
- Zari Tomaz: Yup, yup. It's eating her heart. I'm gonna be sick.
- Sara Lance: Okay, we can fix this before the Time Bureau even has to know about it.
- Zari Tomaz: Oh, really? Can we?
- Sara Lance: Look, Ava still thinks of me as the woman who saved the world last year, and I don't want her to know that there's a whole new problem with history.
- Zari Tomaz: Yeah, that we basically created.
- Sara Lance: You go find the unicorn, and I'll go find Constantine.
- John Constantine: Somebody can't read bloody signs. You don't know that there's a "do not disturb" sign on the bloody door?
- [opening the door]
- John Constantine: Sara. Yeah, uh... I can't talk right now, luv. I've got a threesome that's about to pop off in here with some contortionists.
- Nate Heywood: Man, I wish my dad could see us now, hunting a bloodthirsty creature through Woodstock.
- Mick Rory: What's the beef between you and your old man, anyway? He hit you?
- Nate Heywood: No.
- Mick Rory: Burn you?
- Nate Heywood: Nope.
- Mick Rory: He dress up like a clown and scare the hell out of you?
- Nate Heywood: What the hell, Mick? No. He was emotionally unavailable to me when I was growing up.
- Mick Rory: Are you serious?
- Nate Heywood: Yeah. To the whole world, my dad was this great larger-than-life guy, but to me, he was just cold.
- Nate Heywood: Hank?
- Henry Heywood: [with Mick's voice] What? I'm not your dad!
- Nate Heywood: Oh, so you're ashamed of me? Well, I'm sorry I didn't follow in your footsteps and enlist. But for your information, I had a medal pinned to my chest, only you don't have the clearance to see it!
- Mick Rory: What's happening?
- Nate Heywood: What?
- Mick Rory: [seeing him as his late pet rat] Axl?
- Nate Heywood: I'm getting something off my chest. And you know what, Hank? It feels pretty good. I just wish for once, you would tell me you're proud of me no matter what I do with my life. You know what I'd say?
- [Mick shakes his head]
- Nate Heywood: [Mick still sees him as Axl] I love you.
- Mick Rory: I love you, too.
- Nate Heywood: Really?
- Mick Rory: I thought you were dead.
- Nate Heywood: I thought you were dead on the inside.
- Zari Tomaz: Ray. Ray, my hand is glowing. Can you see it?
- Ray Palmer: No. It looks like your hand.
- Zari Tomaz: No, no. You gotta open your eyes, man. It's all around us.
- Ray Palmer: What is?
- Zari Tomaz: Love. Oh, those hippies had the right idea. Woodstock is beautiful.
- Zari Tomaz: What's wrong, Ray?
- Ray Palmer: What?
- Zari Tomaz: [gasp] You were hoping to see Nora here.
- [another gasp]
- Zari Tomaz: You like her, Ray-Ray!
- Ray Palmer: No. No! I do not like Nora.
- Zari Tomaz: Uh-huh, because you love her.
- Ray Palmer: [she 'beeps' his nose] No-o. No! The only reason I ever want to see Nora Darhk again is so that I can take the Time Stone back and I can lock her up in the Time Bureau.
- [turning and imagining he sees her]
- Ray Palmer: Oh, my god, she's here!
- John Constantine: You know, a unicorn is no bloody joke. You might want to get your ol' girlfriend on the blower.
- [realizing]
- John Constantine: You didn't tell Director Sharpe that you let all the monsters out to play, did you?
- Sara Lance: Ava and I are in a great place right now. Better than great. In fact, she asked me to move in with her, and I said yes. So why rock the boat unless it's absolutely necessary?
- John Constantine: Because when the boat eventually tips, you'll both bloody drown.
- John Constantine: You and I are similar; we're both survivors. But our survival comes at a terrible cost. Look, you can take it from a man who's caused nothing but misery to everyone he's ever loved. Trust me, end it with Ava before it's too late.
- Sara Lance: You ever think that you cause misery not because of some romantic "I was born to walk alone crap", but because you're an ass who doesn't know how to trust people?
- John Constantine: You know, I trust that people around me get hurt, killed, or far, far worse.
- Sara Lance: You think that I'm not scared? That I don't know grief? I'm not willing to turn my back on life, because that is exactly what you're doing, John. Our friends and family, they don't make us weaker; they make us stronger. You know what you need? You need to be a part of a team.
- John Constantine: [seeing the other Legends tripping out] You were saying?
- John Constantine: This is King Solomon's original grimoire; the oldest magical textbook in existence. Now, if there is a spell to quell our equine friend, it'll be in here.
- Sara Lance: Well, not to pressure you, but the entire fate of the sexual revolution is in the balance here.
- John Constantine: Ah, it is my favorite revolution.
- Ray Palmer: John! Welcome aboard.
- John Constantine: Hey, Ray big-man! Glad to see you're all back from the land of milk and honey.
- Zari Tomaz: I'm-I'm still a little fuzzy on how exactly we were...
- Mick Rory: Roofied by a horse.
- John Constantine: Well, that beast sprays a powerful mind-altering hallucinogen to disarm its prey.
- [finding what he's looking for]
- John Constantine: Ah! "How to expel a magical creature from the mortal realm." Now, the ingredients for this spell aren't so easy to come by. Don't suppose any of you lot have the saliva from a nine-fingered man, now do you?
- Ray Palmer: You could chop off one of my pinkies.
- Nate Heywood: As every Deadhead knows, Jerry Garcia was missing most of his middle finger on his right hand from a wood chopping accident.
- Zari Tomaz: Cool, so how do we get his saliva?
- Nate Heywood: Jerry, my man! Can I get a hit of that?
- Jerry Garcia: [offering his joint] This doobie will make you fly.
- Nate Heywood: Cool, cool.
- [taking the joint and sprinting away]
- Nate Heywood: Spin move!
- Jerry Garcia: Hey!
- [his friends chase after Nate]
- Jerry Garcia: Not cool.
- John Constantine: We need the Protection Stone of a powerful shaman.
- Mick Rory: [cut to him bumping into Jimi Hendrix] Watch it.
- [revealing he lifted Jimi's necklace]
- Mick Rory: Brother.
- John Constantine: And the lock of a doomed woman.
- The Atom: [cut to him taking a strand of hair from Janis Joplin] Janis, this is quite an honor.
- Janis Joplin: Little robot man.
- The Atom: Hi. My mom is a huge fan.
- Janis Joplin: [laughing] Your mom?
- John Constantine: And for our final ingredient...
- [looking at the book]
- John Constantine: Quis virginem.
- Sara Lance: What?
- John Constantine: A virgin.
- The Atom: A virgin at Woodstock? Ha! Good luck with that; this is the least celibate place in history.
- Gary Green: This feels wrong.
- Ray Palmer: Well, don't worry. We'll be watching from a short distance, and you'll be... fine.
- Gary Green: What am I supposed to do with the pomegranate?
- John Constantine: Oh, the unicorns, they can't get enough of them, mate.
- Zari Tomaz: [sotto, to Ray] Yeah, that and human hearts.
- Gary Green: So the pomegranate is the bait?
- Sara Lance: Yeah, we wouldn't put an interim member of our team in jeopardy, right, guys?
- Gary Green: I'm an interim Legend?
- [they all shrug and nod half-heartedly]
- Gary Green: Well, then. Uh, one-one more question. Are you sure that I'm a virgin, 'cause that thing we did...
- John Constantine: Positive, mate.
- Sara Lance: Admit it, this is fun working with a team.
- John Constantine: Well, if ol' Gary gets eaten alive, it only goes to prove my point: people who care about us die.
- Gary Green: What was that?
- John Constantine: Oh, nothing, mate. You're golden. Carry on, yeah?
- Ray Palmer: Where'd the unicorn go?
- John Constantine: Ah... sent that bastard straight to hell, didn't I? Yup, folks, that is some grade "A" magic right there.
- Ray Palmer: Maybe the Bureau will up our ratings. People do love the supernatural.
- Sara Lance: Gary, you're, like, really bleeding.
- Gary Green: [looking at his wound] Ah! The unicorn bit my nipple off!
- Zari Tomaz: Hey, maybe Gideon can make you a new one.
- John Constantine: Oh, forget it, mate. Come on, it's a badge of honor. You see, my soul is heading straight to hell, but your nipple, it just got there first, that's all.
- Gary Green: It's like we're two birds of the same, dark feather.
- John Constantine: Yeah, yeah, that's right, mate. Come on, let's grab a beer. All right?
- [leading him away]
- John Constantine: Now, about this whole virgin situation...
- Henry Heywood: Nathaniel. I assumed you would have left town by now.
- Nate Heywood: Yeah, I decided to stay a couple extra days.
- Henry Heywood: Let me guess, you got fired from whatever online college you conned into hiring you.
- Nate Heywood: Sweet burn, Hank, but, um... I was just... wondering if you wanted to have a beer with me?
- Henry Heywood: We don't do that.
- Nate Heywood: Maybe we should start.
- Zari Tomaz: Wow, you're looking a little glum there, buddy.
- Ray Palmer: Just, uh... thinking about all the musicians who died after Woodstock. Janis Joplin overdosed in 1970, sad and alone.
- Zari Tomaz: That's terrible, but this is obviously about Nora.
- Ray Palmer: When I gave her the Time Stone, our hands touched, and... I felt a spark.
- Zari Tomaz: Ray, Nora is... Nora is like a unicorn. Beautiful and dangerous. She is going to eat you alive.
- Ray Palmer: I guess she and I are doomed.
- Zari Tomaz: There's something I wanna show you. Come on.
- Ray Palmer: I don't understand. What are we doing here?
- Zari Tomaz: That's my mom, and that's me. We lived in D.C. in 2018 before my brother was born. It would be so easy, Ray... to just walk over there and tell her to get her family and go to Canada before everything changes. Before this country that she worked so hard to become a citizen of betrays her.
- Ray Palmer: You'd be changing your future. You'd never meet us, you'd never become a Legend. Think of all the people you saved.
- Zari Tomaz: Yeah, I know. I know. There's no loophole where I can save my family and not screw up history, but that doesn't mean I don't feel guilty every day that I have the power to change everything, and... I do nothing.
- Ray Palmer: I'm so sorry, Z.
- Zari Tomaz: [beginning to cry] Look at her, Ray. How could anyone be afraid of her?
- Sara Lance: Smells good in here.
- Ava Sharpe: Oh, yeah, I, uh, burned the first chicken piccata, but I think I got the second one just right.
- Sara Lance: Those our medals?
- Ava Sharpe: I wanted to remind you of all the good you did last year.
- Sara Lance: Yeah, we, um... we weren't that good.
- Ava Sharpe: Would you stop being so hard on yourself, Sara? I'm proud of you.