Mary Holland credited as playing...
Jane
- Harper: Sloane wasn't lying! I'm gay, and I am in love with Abby. I'm sorry I didn't tell you guys sooner, but I know how much appearances and reputation matter to you. And me being gay didn't fit into the plan. But I let myself hurt Riley because I was so scared that you'd find out I wasn't who you wanted me to be, and I still regret it. I can't do that to Abby and throw away our life together. So I am done being scared, and I am done keeping secrets.
- [to Abby]
- Harper: I love you.
- Sloane: Eric and I are getting a divorce. We separated a few months ago. Truth is, I didn't tell you because without my family I'm worthless to you. We've spent our entire lives trying to earn your love, and I'm done too.
- Jane: I don't have any secrets, but I am an ally!
- Abby: I'm going to go.
- Harper: Wait, no. No! I did it!
- Abby: I'm sorry. It's just too late.
- Jane: I am something! And guess what. I like myself! And maybe you all don't because I'm not fancy. But whether you like it or not, I'm a part of this family, and I will not be left out anymore!
- Ted: I have sunk almost all of our savings into this campaign. Because I thought, if I won, you'd all be proud of me.
- Harper: We're already proud of you.
- Sloane: We don't care if you win.
- Jane: Yeah, and the money doesn't matter. When I sell my book, I'll take care of all of us.
- Ted: I love you, girls. And I'm sorry for making you think that anything could ever get in the way of that. I want to do better, and it will take time, but all I want for you is to find the same joy and happiness that you have given me, no matter where it comes from.
- Tipper: Harper, did you see that the Bennett's are here?
- Harper: Yeah, we just ran into Riley.
- Ted: Did you hear that she's doing her residency at Johns Hopkins?
- Jane: I should have her look at my mole.
- Harper: No, I hadn't heard that.
- Ted: It's very impressive! Her parents must be proud. And relieved.
- Tipper: I know. That lifestyle choice.
- Ted: Such a shame.
- Tipper: What is going on!
- Sloane: Yeah, what is going on? Harper, do you want to tell them, or should I?
- Harper: Don't, Sloane!
- Sloane: Why? It's not good timing?
- Tipper: Girls, stop that this instant!
- Jane: Come one, guys. Just hug it out.
- Harper, Sloane: Shut up, Jane!
- Harper: Don't do this, Sloane!
- Sloane: All this because you're scared to not be the favorite. Pathetic!
- Ted: Sloane, you're making a scene!
- Sloane: I am? You think she's so innocent? All of this is happening because Harper is... Harper is a lesbian! Abby's her girlfriend.
- Harper: She is lying! I am not a lesbian!
- [party goes silent as Abby leaves]
- Tipper: Do you have a boyfriend, Abby?
- Abby: No. But I have! Because... I have had many. But not too many. An appropriate amount. I actually just went through a breakup.
- Jane: Oh no!
- Tipper: Aw, Abby.
- Abby: Yeah, with, um, he was a... he was a milk man.
- Harper: Okay! And I think we'll just settle in now.
- Tipper: Okay, we we'll just show Abby to her room.
- Harper: What, is she not gonna stay up here with me?
- Tipper: Harper, I would never ask two grown women to share the same bed! No, Abby will stay in Jane's old room.
- Jane: Oh! Oh, I could show it to her!
- Tipper: Settle down.
- Jane: I'm settled!