Sloane Morgan Siegel: Dwight

Flip

Dwight

[last lines]
[Baldric is trying to reassemble the magic scepter that Dwight broke the night before]
Dwight: Hey, I hope you know that was an accident.
[Baldric grunts angrily]
Dwight: Is there anything I can do?
Baldric: Can you find for me the bough of an ash tree fed by a fairy spring and encased within it an agate stone spewed forth in fire from the bowels of the Earth?
Dwight: Uh... .
Baldric: Can you then temper it with the tears of a newborn griffin and its mother's milk? And then can you resurrect the mage that gave his life crafting this scepter over two thousand years ago? Hmm?
Dwight: [reaching into his backpack] Duct tape? You got...
Baldric: Go.
Baldric: Going.
Baldric: Leave.
Dwight: Yup.
[after Dwight goes out the door, Baldric tears off a strip of tape and looks at it amazed]

Baldric: [spotting Jacopo through his spyglass] Him. Quickly! Put these beans in your ears. Make haste!
Dwight: Am I wrong or did my pediatrician actually say don't put beans in my - AAH!
Gretta: These are magic beans.
Dwight: [Gretta stuffs a bean in Dwight's other ear] Ow!

[Dwight has defeated Jacopo in their water bottle flipping duel]
Baldric: And you, villain, may take yourself hence. You are no match for Princess Gretta's *champion*.
Jacopo: I leave defeated, but not dishonored.
Dwight: One hundred percent agree.
Gretta: Halt! We should make a 'self me' to capture this special moment.
[cut to Dwight taking a selfie of the group]
Gretta: [to Jacopo] You may withdraw.

Dwight: What does this Yakapoo guy want?
Gretta: My throne.
Dwight: [points to an old chair] What? That thing?
Gretta: No no no - my kingdom.
Baldric: That man is mad for power. He sold his own soul to put that spell on this lute.
Gretta: And now it has a mind of its own.
Dwight: Nana, now's as good a time as any to tell you...
Nana: That our new neighbors are not really actors?
Dwight: Yeah.
Nana: Okay.

Gretta: Well, my parents are also gone.
Dwight: What happened?
Gretta: My father was devoured by fairies and my mother was turned into an oak tree.
Dwight: Oh.
Gretta: But I have Baldric and you have Nana.
Dwight: Yeah. Yeah, we do.

Dwight: Baldric, why is Dylan Gallagher throwing rocks at us?
Gretta: It's the lute.
Baldric: The plucking of the strings places those within hearing under a powerful enchantment.
Dwight: Wha-what? Like mind control?
Nana: That's so uncool.

Gretta: Not yet, Jacopo. You may have defeated me, but you have not defeated *my champion*.
Dwight: Ah, geez.
Nana: Oh?