- Billups: Faking your death? Blowing up your own ship? This is a new low, mother.
- Queen Paolana: A meager price to pay to get you on the throne.
- Billups: I love Starfleet. Okay, and I don't want to live in a castle with pet dragons and all the mutton I can eat. You need to accept the fact that I'll be a virgin for the rest of my life.
- Queen Paolana: Well, we'll see about that.
- [Mariner & Boimler are stranded on a deserted planet with a sentient computer module. Their replicator is broken; it only makes black licorice. Boimler has just fallen from a tree, trying to get some native fruit]
- Ensign Brad Boimler: *ugh!*
- Ensign Beckett Mariner: Ooh, so close. You know, if that was a rock wall, you would have had it.
- Ensign Brad Boimler: Oh, just shut it!
- [kicks tree, and several pieces of fruit fall]
- Ensign Beckett Mariner: Ah, I can drink that!
- Ensign Brad Boimler: Oh, my God, random liquid! Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme.
- [Both begin slurping juice from opened pieces of fruit]
- Ensign Beckett Mariner: [groan] It tastes like black licorice, too? Are you fucking kidding me?
- Ensign Brad Boimler: Well, I don't see a better option. Do you?
- Ensign Beckett Mariner: [sadly] No.
- [both resume drinking fruit juices and groaning]
- AGIMUS: Well, you know, I could have fixed your replicator. Right now you could have been enjoying a cheeseburger or blueberry muffins or...
- Ensign Beckett Mariner: Don't.
- AGIMUS: ...guacamole.