Rhino-1

You know how it is. You drive past a bus shelter and see a poster for a film. It looks quite good and, in the back of your mind, you tell yourself you must give it a basin full of looking at when the opportunity arises. It stays in your mind and every time you see the poster or title, it's just another reminder that the film is on your "to see" list

And so it was with me and The Mothman Prophecies

Oh dear

The story concerns people who are visited by some sort of monster and who then predict a future disaster. Richard Gere, a reporter, finds out but spends the whole film running around like a headless chicken. The director is obviously from some fancy art house school of film making, using blurred and, frankly, pretentious camera angles to further addle the mind of the viewer

There are no answers at the end - and there's no action at all. It's a series of interconnected boredom inducing set pieces

Feh!

If you were to ask for a great director to direct a great war film, you may ask Ridley Scott to direct Black Hawk Down. He is a great director and Black Hawk Down is a great war film...

But...

The problem with war films is that you've seen 'em all. It's about good guys vs bad guys and heroes and shooting. The fact that Black Hawk Down is set in Somalia is the only thing that makes this different from, for example, Platoon, Saving Private Ryan or Hamburger Hill

UN Peacekeeping forces are under attack in the Somalian civil war of the early 90s. The good ol' USA send in their "elite" troops to counter. The motto of these guys is that they shall never leave a fallen comrade behind, so when one of their Black Hawk helicopters crashes right in the middle of a hostile zone, it's all hands on deck to get any survivors out

What then follows is an archetypal battle with the "good guys" being able to shoot straight and the "bad guys" missing with every other shot. It's beautifully filmed, as you would expect, and with sufficient gore to ensure its realism. The surreal moments as (some of) the soldiers reach the safe zone is possibly the best part of the film, but one is left with an uncomfortable feeling when the epilogue glibly states that 20 American soldiers lost their lives (it lists their names) - oh yes, and so did 1000 Somalians

The acting is great, the music is great, the story is great; one can even forgive the patriotism. But there's nothing new to see here

I'm glad I watched it - but I'm equally glad I borrowed it rather than bought it

Reign Of Fire is full of gung-ho, pointless nonsense with maybe three scenes which make you sit up and take notice. Christian Bale (the schoolboy actor from Empire Of The Sun and The Newsboys) plays the English hero who crosses swords with a shaven headed Matthew McConaughey, the American hero. It's the year 2020 and there are loads of dragons to kill

No-one wants to explain where they came from, and no-one wants to explain why the world looks as though my kids were allowed to wreck it one Sunday afternoon

All I can say is I'm glad I managed to see it for free. I'd have hated to waste my money

David Morse plays an engineer who is kidnapped by guerillas in a fictional South American country. A "K&R" operative (kidnap and rescue, played by Crowe) is drafted in to assist negotiate his release, but he finds himself getting a little too close with his distraught wife (Ryan)

That's pretty much it. There are a couple of sub-stories, such as Morse not being insured (which means that Crowe ends up working unpaid) and Morse being imprisoned with others who are also being held for ransom but the plot revolves very heavily around Crowe's negotiations

What starts slowly (but never dully) turns into a fine action finale as Crowe (and friends) decide to attack the camp where Morse and the others are held and effect their release. It's a little bit "Rambo-esque" and Crowe throws himself into the "action man" role with gusto but it's not OTT, despite being a little predictable

I really enjoyed the original film and, knowing how disappointing sequels can be, I didn't hold out too much hope for Blade II... which meant that I was pleasantly surprised

Obviously spending far more money on effects than plot, the producers have realised what made the original so popular, i.e. the fight sequences. OK, so the CGI effects are a little lame at times, but Wesley Snipes is his usual cool self, strutting around with an almost Dali-esque air

The story (or what there is of it) concerns Blade teaming up with vampires to battle a mutant race of blood suckers but that never intrudes upon what is the main reason for watching (although the mutants themselves are splendid, almost like something out of a Clive Barker novel). Blade II is now on my list of "must buy" DVDs

I have rarely seen a film so cleverly written. Adapted from a short story from Philip K Dick (who also wrote the books on which Blade Runner and Total Recall are based) this has been turned into a full length story that grips your attention with no breaks

Tom Cruise is just wonderful. Yes, I'll say that again. Tom Cruise is wonderful! And I don't care how clever you are - you will NOT see the twist coming. It will hit you and you'll go, "What?!!"

Spielberg's created another winner!

I've not read nor seen any film based on books by Nick Hornby. Perhaps I should. High Fidelity at last gives us a love story from a guy's perspective, complete with angst, compassion, self pity and sex

Rob Gordon (the ever dependable John Cusack) is a record store owner and a compulsive "list" maker. Talking to the camera, he recounts his five worst relationship break-ups, including his latest one; he then realises his need to contact each of these previous ladies to see if he can establish where he went wrong

In addition, the day to day life at the record store goes on

Now, this may sound bland and uninteresting, but it is, in fact, a remarkably poignant and compulsive look at the male ego and how it stands up to rejection. And while it doesn't deliver a massive load of belly laughs, it's quite impossible not to watch without a silly grin on your face

8MM was a very dark and powerful film featuring the seedy underground world of pornography and snuff movies. It was, to be frank, fantastic. Nic Cage, rapidly becoming one of my favourite actors, walks through with a disgusted air and even Joaquin Phoenix, who I've never been that impressed with, hit the nail as a porn shop manager

Deeply disturbing, yes. Highly compelling, yes. A good buy... you bet!

The People vs Larry Flynt was surprisingly enjoyable. I had assumed that it was going to be a courtroom drama but it turned out to be much more than that

Larry Flynt (Woody Harrelson) is the guy who ran the infamous US porn mag Hustler; this film documents his rise and fall and subsequent assassination attempt which led to his paralysis

Very similar to Sid And Nancy (in that his wife, superbly played by Courtney Love, becomes a drug addict... the film centres heavily on that towards the end) but more enjoyable. A good chunk of humour combined with good performances

Started off really well; pretty good disaster scenes, well shot and believable. People trapped in a tunnel - good characterisations, Stallone almost an anti-hero

Then Hollywood schmaltz kicks in and it becomes yet another pointless, over-the-top, brainless disaster movie with a completely OTT and unrealistic finale

A load of biker chicks end up in a town where zombies roam about

That's it; plenty of gore, no nudity, and a very early performance by Billy Bob Thornton!

I suppose the best one can say is that's it only 80 minutes long

I've never made a scret of the fact that I like children's tales. I was an avid reader when I was younger; Enid Blyton and C S Lewis are writers whose books still hold my attention

Children's films play a big part in our family as well. We have most of the popular Disney films as well as things like Babe, Antz and Beethoven, etc

So was it for this reason that a friend insisted on sending me My Neighbour Totoro, citing it as one of his favourite films?

I finally watched it last night, not having the slightest idea what it was or what it was about. What I got was a heart-warming, beautifully drawn and - well - decidely odd animated film from Japan

Two young Japanese sisters and their father move into a run-down shack in a rice-field area where they meet several "fairy tale" characters lving in the local woods, including the titular, Totoro, a giant - erm - gerbil. While having adventures with him and his smaller friends, they discover that their hospitalised Mother, due home soon, has developed an illness. The younger sister runs away to find the hospital and Totoro assists in the search

Whether this Totoro is a well known character in Japan (like - what? - the tooth fairy, or Father Christmas over here) or not I'm afraid I don't know. But the film is presented in such a way that you should know who the hell these characters are

Now, as an adult, I found the film very touching. The fact that it was in Japanese with English sub-titles didn't bother me. But its obvious intended audience (i.e my children) would be hard pressed to sit through it purely because of that reason; however, the simple tale of innocent children exploring their new locations is one that should and, indeed, would appeal to my younger boys

I must confess that I didn't share my friend's obvious joy in finding such a film - but then I wouldn't expect him to sit through my favourite "Krull" every month or so. But, as I said, it's beautifully drawn (apart from the Japanese habit of, for some reason, insisting that all children have mouths as wide as water melons!!), the music is surprisingly pleasant and the overall effect is one of feeling warm and fuzzy at the end, if a little bemused

Apocalypse Now is a film everybody should watch at least once. I'm no fan of films about the Vietnam War; Platoon and Hamburger Hill I really did not like. But AN is different. Not concentrating too much on the battles, it's the story of one man's search for a renegade General

Martin Sheen, who plays the "searcher" (does Charlie look like his Dad or what!), is nothing short of superb! He's not even a hero - he's a man with many inner demons. His journey along the river to find the General (Marlon Brando, who doesn't appear until the last fifteen minutes yet practically dominates the film) is also a journey within himself, full of danger, sadness and even humour (vis the "surfing" story which had me laughing out loud). The final fifteen harrowing minutes is masterful. Early work from both Laurence Fishburne and Harrison Ford adds interest

I watched Taxi Driver for the first time last night. The video box called it one of the most powerful films in motion picture history. I call it one of the dullest things I've ever seen

Jodie Foster made the film for me; the rest of it just seemed to be a rambling, incoherent ride in the back of a cab!!

The plot is fairly a straightforward adaptation of Ibsen's fine play Enemy Of The People, which sees one man trying to persuade the rest of his townsfolk that a disaster is pending. Jaws is a pretty good example of how one man is forced to put his principles on hold before something eventually proves him right; with Dante's Peak, it's Geologist Pierce Brosnan predicting the eruption of a long-dormant volcano

Now Brosnan, while unlikely to ever play Othello or King Lear, is a fine actor in my opinion. He does exactly what it says on the tin, and here he plays the "man against the world" very well. He's supported very nicely by Linda "Terminator" Hamilton and some pretty impressive child actors, but none of them can hold a candle to the special effects. I'm a sucker for authentic or well designed effects, and the earthquake and eruption scenes here are the best I've ever seen. It doesn't matter that the story is a pretty lame attempt to do for volcanoes what Twister did for tornados; the brooding shots of the mountain that cut into most of the scenes are enough to keep you trying to guess not if, but *when* the whole damn thing is going to explode

There's a very surreal scene where Pierce and fellow escapees are caught in a powerless boat on a lake that has been made toxic by lava flow; singing Row Row Your Boat while floating on an acidic deathbed - a nicely observed moment

With a neat score by John Frizzel and solid direction by Roger "Cocktail" and "Species" Donaldson, you could do a hell of a lot worse than spend a couple of hours with Dante's Peak

Ask anyone over the age of 30 who is the best Tarzan and you may receive several answers. Ron Ely would be a popular choice; so would Gordon Scott. But I'll lay good money that the top answer would be Johnny Weissmuller.

By the time Tarzan's New York Adventure came to be made, Weissmuller had made the loin cloth his own and something new had to be done. As sacrilegious as it sounds, it was the taking of Tarzan out of his own environment that made this the best in his long list of jungle capers.

The plot is unimportant. Tarzan's son is taken away to New York and he travels there, accompanied by Jane, to bring him back. But it's the way that the whole premise is handled that ensures that this film will remain in the memory (it's remained in mine ever since I saw it, aged 7). You know Tarzan will win but you don't expect the way that he does it.

Weissmuller was a fine actor with little to say. And here, he doesn't need to say much. There's action, drama, and humour - everything one needs. Even the effects (apart from an occasional speeded up film shot) are sufficiently effective.