vjoyce

Summer has started. What a surprise. This is a good movie.

Here comes Vin Diesel in a sequel that doesn't know it's a sequel.' If you missed `Pitch Black,' don't worry. `The Chronicles of Riddick' is sparse on the words, big on vision, with flashy mechanics, a soulful cast and somber in tone, showing tremendous restraint on action, violence and digital effects. Cool.

Vin may run for Governor of California some day. His lines in this are Terminator-lite. It looks like 85%Vin Diesel lines are looped. Often he's shown from the back or side. You don't see his mouth move. Not a bad looking guy, if you like bald guys but it's those pipes, baby. The voice is marvelous. John Wayne monotone and deep like Paul Robeson, `a place where deep bells ring.'

Like Judy told Liza, it's OK to steal, just steal from the best. That's what these filmmakers did here. Mad Max, Blade Runner, Terminator and High Noon are clear influences. Nearly pronounced dead, futuristic Sci-Fi has has gotten so heavy handed and done-to-death with the Star Wars and Treks. Not here. This movie is refreshing. Not only does the cast have dimension and depth, so do the action sequences - sensible fight scenes that are involving with beginnings, middles and ends. True dimension, texture, style and oomph. Clearly, there was someone with science and math involved. The dynamics make sense to the eye. The swooping spaceships are thick with vapor trails. When stuff explodes people die. Costumes and make up are sleek, stylish and move well with the actors. Matrix meets Blow Up. I never expected brains in a Diesel film.

And no stupid aliens, either. Thank you very much. The actual plot is a little muddled and at times and difficult to follow. A little layered and labored - coming off a little like Dune. Invading armies with great looking armor and matching space ships. (Love the look of this movie. Kinda Goth-Deco.) Lords, ghosts, prophecies, unfaithful queens and warring races. And Religion. Hey, what's a war without religion anyway? Favorite scene: the Lord and Master of the Necromongers (very Borg-like) grabs a guy by the throat and rips out his soul. Needless to say, the rest of the captives bow down to the new boss in town. Enter Diesel, the last of his kind, a Furian to fight the good fight. Very `Good, Bad and the Ugly.'

Excellent cast includes; Judy Dench, Colm Feore, Thandie Newton, Keith David and (our fave) Nick Chinlund.

After the very disappointing Van Helsing which was Show Girls dumb and Space Balls silly with uneven dialog that couldn't decide what century or what continent it was in or from this movie is like a breath of fresh air laden with a whiff of popcorn.

The Los Angeles opening of `Made Up' on February 6th garnered a screening with director, star and writer in attendance for a Q & A. The Arclight does this kind of thing well. There was even rumor of a little party after. That made things irresistible, being that it was Tony Shalhoub, Brooke Adams and Lynne Adams who work out to be director-actor-husband, actress-producer-wife, writer-actress-sister-producer. Almost more hyphens than even we can stand. And this is Hollywood.

A festival darling (Santa Barbara, South by Southwest to name a few) is finally in theaters on an independent and limited run. Great reviews on both coasts, in both Times, are furthering the buzz.

Clever and cute, in the vein of `Best of Show,' this mock-umentary is a film about making a film. Turning the mirror on yourself to look inside and check your lipstick. How to age gracefully, get a make over from your rebel grrrrrl daughter, finish the project, get the deal, make the ex-husband jealous and spoil the trophy wife's homeless woman art exhibit, not drink and do cartwheels.

Playing roles that they live each day, Brooke Adams is the actress, Lynne Adams is a film maker and newcomer, kick-in-the-pants, Eva Amurri plays the actress' daughter. Little Eva made her film debut as a sick kid in the hospital in her step-dad's directorial debut, `Bob Roberts.' Let's hope this kid can keep her mojo working and Tony Shalhoub's first at-bat behind the camera will lead to more.

The post film forum revealed one of the director's greatest challenges was to light his leading lady with an un-flattering light. `I mean, just look at this,' meaning Brooke. It got a nice 'ahhhhhh' from the audience. This made up for the evening's intro by an Arclight staffer, who expressed admiration for Mr. Shalhoub's role on TV's `Wings.' `I grew up watching this man.' That got an 'oooohhh' out of the audience. (`What? That was '97?')

A way-cool website will give you step by step instructions on the Tivey Facelift Kit (as seen in the film). Your cost? Seventeen cents!

The Writer's Block got a treat. The LA organization played host to a screening of `The Station Agent' at the Directors Guild on the last September Monday with the help of Miramax, the distributor of this Sundance darling. (Waldo Salt Screenwriting Award)

A beautiful film. Lovely and amazing. I'll prove it. The young African American actress from that film, Raven Goodwin is in this. `A forty year old in the body of a girl!' laughed Peter Dinklage describing her during an insightful Q&A that followed the screening.

Peter is the star of the film and follows his inheritance of a train depot (he's a train nut – so get ready for a whole New World to be opened up) and the surrounding residents of a small New Jersey town called Newfoundland. Nice name.

Reminiscent of ‘The Pawn Broker,' the story centers around isolation and loneliness bringing people into relationships and entanglements with the price paid for both sides. Patricia Clarkson is her usual brilliant self.

TV's Third Watch is where you know Bobby Cannavale's work from, but that is about to change. If this film breaks through, it could be Oscar time for this guy. Swear to God. Half his scenes are with his phone. `The cel phone was another character,' Bobby chuckled, `Tom made sure of that.'

And Tom is Thomas McCarthy, the writer and director. You know him from his recurring role on TV's `Boston Public.' How and where did the film come from? `It started with the depot. And I knew the actors. Mostly from New York. We would get together and read the script from time to time.' Sounds simple, doesn't it? Another question from the audience `what was the budget?' `Five hundred thousand,' brought applause. `Yeah, and I had to raise that!' Tom had a big old smile on his face. Like a proud papa.

Getting lots of great buzz on the Festival circuit and multiple awards, even more nominations, vote for this film ‘most likely to break through.'

What a shame Summertime movie audiences didn't beat the heat with this thriller chiller from Paramount. K-19, The Widowmaker came in third to overall weak numbers on it's opening weekend tied behind the Stuart Little Sequel and the Road to Perdition.

OK, the title didn't help. No, it's not about a death climb on Everest or nearby peaks. And it's not about skateboards either. It's a submarine movie and a really good one too. Like the great grandpappy of all sub flicks, Run Silent Run Deep, you've got a handsome young captain who loves his crew and they love him and a grizzled new older captain who loves no one. Drill, drill, drill, dangerous mission. In the Clark Gable and Burt Lancaster roles you have Harrison Ford and Liam Neeson respectively.

The only drawback here is that these guys are just too darn good-looking to be Russians. And no Don Rickles either, pussycat. No comic relief anywhere. You see, these guys are Commies and it's 1961, the height of the cold war insanity. If you weren't around at the time, we were four minutes to midnight at any given moment. As in, ka-boom, it's all over now, baby blue. And the 'Inspired by true events' disclaimer at the beginning means here's another example of just how close we came to the last shot in the original Plant of the Apes.

Harrison and Neeson are everything but hateful and God-less. This is a soulful story about comrades and sacrifice being swept under the rug. The bad guys are the politicians and the military beauacracy. Sound familiar? These guys are closer to the David Hedison/Richard Basehart team that we all came to love on those pre-Sixty Minutes Sunday nights.

With a soulful musical score by real Russians, you can smell the borscht. You even see the borscht in a shot of the galley. They ate pretty good in the Russian Navy. And those uniforms! Like Joan Rivers says, 'if you don't want gays in the military, stop making the uniforms so cute." Where can I get one of the striped tee's?

This film's look and movement is meticulous thanks to a master film editor, Walter Murch and a great new cinematographer, Jeff Cronenweth, who's dad, Jordan, cut his teeth on In Cold Blood. Not bad credentials at all. The ship has the realistic very-unslick look of cold war communism and comes off looking all Jules Verne-y with the austere wood interiors. They did thier homework and they got it right.

And a woman director, Kathryn Bigelow!? Horror-show, baby, horror-show.

What a shame Summertime movie audiences didn't beat the heat with this thriller chiller from Paramount. K-19, The Widowmaker came in third to overall weak numbers on it's opening weekend tied behind the Stuart Little Sequel and the Road to Perdition.

OK, the title didn't help. No, it's not about a death climb on Everest or nearby peaks. And it's not about skateboards either. It's a submarine movie and a really good one too. Like the great grandpappy of all sub flicks, Run Silent Run Deep, you've got a handsome young captain who loves his crew and they love him and a grizzled new older captain who loves no one. Drill, drill, drill, dangerous mission. In the Clark Gable and Burt Lancaster roles you have Harrison Ford and Liam Neeson respectively.

The only drawback here is that these guys are just too darn good-looking to be Russians. And no Don Rickles either, pussycat. No comic relief anywhere. You see, these guys are Commies and it's 1961, the height of the cold war insanity. If you weren't around at the time, we were four minutes to midnight at any given moment. As in, ka-boom, it's all over now, baby blue. And the 'Inspired by true events' disclaimer at the beginning means here's another example of just how close we came to the last shot in the original Plant of the Apes.

Harrison and Neeson are everything but hateful and God-less. This is a soulful story about comrades and sacrifice being swept under the rug. The bad guys are the politicians and the military beauacracy. Sound familiar? These guys are closer to the David Hedison/Richard Basehart team that we all came to love on those pre-Sixty Minutes Sunday nights.

With a soulful musical score by real Russians, you can smell the borscht. You even see the borscht in a shot of the galley. They ate pretty good in the Russian Navy. And those uniforms! Like Joan Rivers says, 'if you don't want gays in the military, stop making the uniforms so cute." Where can I get one of the striped tee's?

This film's look and movement is meticulous thanks to a master film editor, Walter Murch and a great new cinematographer, Jeff Cronenweth, who's dad, Jordan, cut his teeth on In Cold Blood. Not bad credentials at all. The ship has the realistic very-unslick look of cold war communism and comes off looking all Jules Verne-y with the austere wood interiors. They did thier homework and they got it right.

And a woman director, Kathryn Bigelow!? Horror-show, baby, horror-show.

At a special members-only preview, The Los Angeles County Museum of Art last night played host to an early screening of the much-heralded new film from Dreamworks, actor Tom Hanks and director, Sam Mendes, The Road to Perdition.

This film is amazing. Amazing because how bad it is. Sam Mendez used the same cinematograher for this sophmore effort, the great Conrad Hall. How did these two guys make such a boring movie? It's amazing.

How do you get flat performances out of Tom Hanks and Paul Newman. Tom's gangster (Irish, yet?), was a monotone Sylvester Stallone imitation and Paul as the crime boss just didn't seem interested. Jennifer Jason Leigh wasn't even fun to watch as Tom's frumpy wife. Chicago in the Roaring Twenties, dull? As dishwater.

The rest of the supporting cast was all too plain and generic. Very forgettable. I was praying for the always great, Stanly Tucci (as Frank Nitti) to do something wonderful. Bruce Gordon was better on the TV show. Amazing.

For a brief moment things livened up when Jude Law entered the story as a newspaper photographer who specialized in crime scenes. For a minute the haunting beauty of "American" started to show. But then he started sleep walking too. Just amazing.

Everyone knows the recent past is hard to get right. Here they went over board on the authenticity of props. OK, the cars were great, just like in Bonnie and Clyde. But there was no soul in any shot. The hairstyles were right, but nothing else was. The feel was wrong from the start. From here, the 20's and 30's may look dingy, but they weren't for those who were there. Try talking to an old person some time. This film is a blank.

I was looking at my watch fifteen minutes in to this. I couldn't wait for it to end. It's about as exciting as ending up at the Indiana Dunes. Amazing.

About half way through this thing, it hit me. Who does Billy Bob Thornton remind me of? Who is he doing? Barney! Barney Fife! As in 'nip it in the bud.' Skinny as a rail, dark protruding eyes and lips and completely inept. Living a life of quiet angst in a small, sleepy town with a lot of shade trees.

The newest film from those Coen Brothers, Joel and Ethan, via USA Films, has an awful title, `The Man Who Wasn't There,' starring chameleon, Billy Bob Thornton. This is his story, delivered in a monotone voice-over. Narration throughout a film usually means trouble, like they blinked 'cause they couldn't keep the plot together. Not this time. This film is all about trouble but it's not on the screen, it's bubbling just beneath the surface.

Billy Bob is Floyd the barber, no wait, he's Ed the barber telling us a tale of life in 1949 America when men wore hats and ties. Women wore hats too plus stocking with seams and their shoes matched their bags. Order out of chaos. It's very difficult to present the recent past accurately, don't fear, the Coens have done it again. The details of this modest-budget production are meticulous. And the details of the plot have more twists and turns than Highway One. Just enjoy the ride.

The dark themes are typical for a Joel-Ethan script and they are played for laughs; murder, adultery, embezzlement, aliens and the electric chair. Tee hee. And mercifully, no rock and roll. Only Beethoven, who hasn't been this scary since Clockwork Orange, me droogies.

Coen cohort, Roger Deakins shot this on color negative and printed it in black and white presenting images with all the uncomfortable elegance as Diane Arbus photo book. In a word, gorgeous. Deakins says they took visual inspiration from noir classics like Shadow of a Doubt and Double Indemnity but the soul of the film is strictly The Postman Always Rings Twice and the look and sound of it echoes Call Northside 777. The scenes with Tony Shaloub, mostly in silhouette, are very Citizen Kane.

The Coens love actors. Like a lot of directors, Joel C. is in love with his leading lady and puts the same actress in all his films. But unlike a lot of other directors, he's actually married to the woman and so far hasn't traded her in for a progressively younger version with each new effort. Someone please stop David Lynch.

Frances MacDormand is this film's femme fatale, Doris. Smoking, soaking, drunkenly swerving and sleeping it off. More gorgeous. And another Coen regular, Jon Polito (known also for Barry Levinson's TV Homicide) quietly owns the screen even when he's submerged. Other actors who primarily work on the small screen, Michael Badalucco (ABC's The Practice) and James Gandolfini (HBO's The Sopranos) shine like silver.

Again, this is Ed's story and it's a ghost story, that's why the man isn't there. But what is there is great. I can just hear Andy now. 'You beat everything, Barney, d'you know that? You just beat everything.'

High Heels and Low Lifes

The trailer tells us this is the next ‘Thelma and Louise,' but this wild and spicy flick is more like Starsky and Hutch meets Absolutely Fabulous. Brought to us by the veddy British, Fragile Films, the same people that brought us Spice World and is currently between two Wilde takes; 99's ‘Ideal Husband' and next year's ‘Importance of Being Ernest.' Girls just want to have fun.

The overall theme is that old-time-Hitchcock-religion where Joe Everyman becomes unwittingly entangled into crime and intrigue. The stars are Minnie Driver and Mary McCormack as a nurse and thespian respectively. These are the two Joanne Everybodies with a UK twist of sophisticated slapstick like Peter Sellers as Inspector Clouseau.

These women are presented as smart, strong and beautiful. Yay. And all the guys are either corrupt or useless. Just like real life. Min has a dumb boyfriend who's electronic eavesdropping picks up a cell phone mid-bank heist. Mary, the actress, fresh from a looping session with an animated tomato, sees the overheard phone conversation as an economic opportunity to squeeze the bad guys. `They'll never listen to a woman,' insists Driver. Mary says, ‘This is the twenty-first century and we do all jobs now.' Minnie crosses with `Do you want to extort money or raise consciousness?' Mary's answer, `Both!'

The rehearsals for the blackmail phone calls to the bad guys are a hoot. The writing comes from two comedy vets from the BBC, Km Fuller who cut his teeth on ‘Red Dwarf' and Georgia Pritchett from the sassy ‘Smack The Pony' and nicely directed by Mel Smith who did ‘Mr. Bean.'

Highlights include a very nice travelling matte midsection when both sides rally to battle reminiscent of the opening title sequence to Knots Landing and a smashing performance from Sir Michael Gambon, the great character actor which is another word for interesting.

San Francisco got it's premiere of this smashing film last April at the 44th SF International Film Festival, sell out at the Castro with an appearance by John Cameron Mitchell, on his birthday yet. A month later, at the Gay & Lesbian Film Fest, yet another screening. So opening night of Hedwig and the Angry Inch, last Friday, should have been no big whoop, Except someone had the bright idea to make it a party.

Calling upon local Glam Rock band (and SF Weekly Wammie Winner) Blue Period to bring a bit of their own Club Glitz to the Landmark Embarcadero Theaters for two live sets of the real thing. Nicely covering signature song from the film, `Angry Inch,' lead singer Adrian Roberts could have passed for John Cameron Mitchell's evil twin wearing a blond wig.

For the glitter and the glamour the other regular feature of Club Glitz was the Instant Glamour Booth set up in the theater lobby providing hair and make up to the needy. This was all part of the costume contest, graciously judged by the band. Costume? What costume? We dress like this everyday! Guests also received Gift bags stuffed with Hedwig Postcards, a sing-along book of lyrics, a candy necklace with matching bracelet, but sadly no MAC glitter lipstick as rumored.

The party was fabulicious. And oh, yeah, it was great to see the movie again. And again.

***SPOILERS*** ***SPOILERS*** Kirsten Dunst has blossomed into a really good actress in the past eleven years with no less than 35 films under her hip hugger belt. In her latest offering from Touchstone Pictures, Crazy Beautiful, she turns in quite a grown up performance. It's the old crazy mom equals crazy daughter fable. (Bette Davis didn't do too badly with this in Now Voyager.) Here KD is pure delinquent, an un-stoppable cyclone of self-destruction. The visuals are soft-pedaled and there is no on screen shooting, smoking, sipping or snorting. So, this is not a `how to' film about drugs and drinking it's a `this is what happens when' picture.

It's a little misleading at first. We are set up with a Romeo and Juliet, Malibu-East LA, rich white girl-poor Latino boy thing. And it's all that too. Her co-star is young Jay Hernandez in his second feature film. He is Carlos. Everyday he takes a two-hour bus ride from one end of the economic scale to the other. He is all grace and dignity. The kid is just gorgeous. And against type, he and his Boyle Heights family are presented with the strength of character that is typical in life and rare in the media.

They meet on the beach. They go to the same high school. She gets him in trouble. He thinks she's a kook. Their friends disapprove. She's in the photo class. They make out in the dark room. Their parents disapprove. They go back to the beach.

The well meaning liberal Congressman dad who doesn't understand is veteran Bruce Davison. He is perfect in the role. The film is as much about her relationship with her dad as it is about the boyfriend. And the very sentimental, sugar sweet ending may be considered saccharine by some and wonderful by others because, guess what, love conquers all.

Stand out performances by Taryn Manning as Kirsten's best friend-second self with matching haircut and outfits. And Lucinda Jenny is nothing less than Oscar bait in a mere four scenes as Mrs. Bruce Davison as the most despicable trophy-wife, step-mom, control-freak ever filmed. If she wasn't so brilliant at being awful she go home with a statuette. And the ultra-now compilation soundtrack has some thought and soul going though it.

Lastly, I would like to personally thank the producers, writers, director and cast for showing two young people about the have sex stop for a condom. Yay.

***SPOILERS*** ***SPOILERS*** Kirsten Dunst has blossomed into a really good actress in the past eleven years with no less than 35 films under her hip hugger belt. In her latest offering from Touchstone Pictures, Crazy Beautiful, she turns in quite a grown up performance. It's the old crazy mom equals crazy daughter fable. (Bette Davis didn't do too badly with this in Now Voyager.) Here KD is pure delinquent, an un-stoppable cyclone of self-destruction. The visuals are soft-pedaled and there is no on screen shooting, smoking, sipping or snorting. So, this is not a `how to' film about drugs and drinking it's a `this is what happens when' picture.

It's a little misleading at first. We are set up with a Romeo and Juliet, Malibu-East LA, rich white girl-poor Latino boy thing. And it's all that too. Her co-star is young Jay Hernandez in his second feature film. He is Carlos. Everyday he takes a two-hour bus ride from one end of the economic scale to the other. He is all grace and dignity. The kid is just gorgeous. And against type, he and his Boyle Heights family are presented with the strength of character that is typical in life and rare in the media.

They meet on the beach. They go to the same high school. She gets him in trouble. He thinks she's a kook. Their friends disapprove. She's in the photo class. They make out in the dark room. Their parents disapprove. They go back to the beach.

The well meaning liberal Congressman dad who doesn't understand is veteran Bruce Davison. He is perfect in the role. The film is as much about her relationship with her dad as it is about the boyfriend. And the very sentimental, sugar sweet ending may be considered saccharine by some and wonderful by others because, guess what, love conquers all.

Stand out performances by Taryn Manning as Kirsten's best friend-second self with matching haircut and outfits. And Lucinda Jenny is nothing less than Oscar bait in a mere four scenes as Mrs. Bruce Davison as the most despicable trophy-wife, step-mom, control-freak ever filmed. If she wasn't so brilliant at being awful she go home with a statuette. And the ultra-now compilation soundtrack has some thought and soul going though it.

Lastly, I would like to personally thank the producers, writers, director and cast for showing two young people about the have sex stop for a condom. Yay.

In keeping with the fine tradition he started with the magnificent 'Seven,' Morgan Freeman-cop movies have really cool opening title sequences. Unfortunately, in his latest offering, Along Came a Spider, things went south after that. What a fine actor and how refreshing to see an African-American name above the title. Add to that, Mr. Freeman was one of the best-dressed men at the Oscars last week sporting a very smart silver spider pin on his lapel as a very classy promo for this film. Shame the film isn't worthy of the pin or the man.

Director, Lee Tamahori directed a Sopranos episode in '99 and now has four features on deck for this year. I guess those guys really are connected. But this film isn't. It's a muddled mess. This is Paramount's sequel to a so-so thriller and Silence of the Lambs knock-off, Kiss The Girls with Ashley Judd from 1997. They resurrect his character, Det. Alex. Cross, the serial-killer profiler (no shortage of those guys these days) and team him up with Secret Service Agent, Monica Potter, a new and highly forgettable actress. Then they get to look for a kidnapped little girl.

We start out with a bang, or rather a crash and a plunge, then into model ship building, a hand pat from an understanding wife (Kimberly Hawthorne) and then it gets really blah. There are some left-field plot twists further on that were pulled out of the 'we're losin'em file.'

This is a tired cast embarrassed with the drab dialog. How sad to see Michael Moriarty and Penolope Ann Miller as the parents of the victim, Senator & Mrs. Boring from the great state of Vapid. The only bright spot is the villain, Michael Wincott, with his sippin-whiskey smooth voice. (He was the 'actor out on loan' in The Doors.) He seems to have painted himself into a corner and is playing a series of by-the-numbers bad guys (Strange Days and Metro) when he isn't in off-beat indies (Dead Man and Basquiat).

In keeping with the fine tradition he started with the magnificent 'Seven,' Morgan Freeman-cop movies have really cool opening title sequences. Unfortunately, in his latest offering, Along Came a Spider, things went south after that. What a fine actor and how refreshing to see an African-American name above the title. Add to that, Mr. Freeman was one of the best-dressed men at the Oscars last week sporting a very smart silver spider pin on his lapel as a very classy promo for this film. Shame the film isn't worthy of the pin or the man.

Director, Lee Tamahori directed a Sopranos episode in '99 and now has four features on deck for this year. I guess those guys really are connected. But this film isn't. It's a muddled mess. This is Paramount's sequel to a so-so thriller and Silence of the Lambs knock-off, Kiss The Girls with Ashley Judd from 1997. They resurrect his character, Det. Alex. Cross, the serial-killer profiler (no shortage of those guys these days) and team him up with Secret Service Agent, Monica Potter, a new and highly forgettable actress. Then they get to look for a kidnapped little girl.

We start out with a bang, or rather a crash and a plunge, then into model ship building, a hand pat from an understanding wife (Kimberly Hawthorne) and then it gets really blah. There are some left-field plot twists further on that were pulled out of the 'we're losin'em file.'

This is a tired cast embarrassed with the drab dialog. How sad to see Michael Moriarty and Penolope Ann Miller as the parents of the victim, Senator & Mrs. Boring from the great state of Vapid. The only bright spot is the villain, Michael Wincott, with his sippin-whiskey smooth voice. (He was the 'actor out on loan' in The Doors.) He seems to have painted himself into a corner and is playing a series of by-the-numbers bad guys (Strange Days and Metro) when he isn't in off-beat indies (Dead Man and Basquiat).

Remember walking out of Usual Suspects and calling your best film friend and asking, `what the hell was going on in that movie?' and giggling like a maniac? Well, here's another one.

The membership of The San Francisco Film Society got it's opening day at the box office for this year's Film Festival off to a great start with a party and a sneak of Memento. Exiting Director Peter Scarlet praised writer/director, Christopher Nolan and tooted his own horn that the SFIFF premiered his first offering "Following" after Sundance passed.

But back to the moment, or Memento. You've probably heard the word by now, that this languid thriller is revealed in reverse.

A gorgeous cast: Guy Pearce, who was the morally flawed good bad guy from LA Confidential. Remember: That IS Lana Turner? Same ambiguity but with bleached hair and he takes his shirt off a lot. He's got this condition, short-term memory loss. He keeps explaining that to people, over and over again. Think Basil Fawlty meets Reservoir Dogs. Carrie-Anne Moss from Matrix fame really shines in this as the good-bad girl or was she the bad-good girl? Joe Pantiolano, who is always wonderful is..wonderful as the sidekick. Oooh, gee that memory thing is catchy.

Bottom line, this thing is great and you will probably want to see it more than once.

How nice to see Pierce Brosnan as a rotter. Without the man-tan make up, you can actually see his freckles.

A co-production of the Irish government and Columbia Pictures, The Tailor of Panama is an old-fashioned British espionage film that is Euro-light on the violence and silhouette-discreet on the sex. No skitzy MTV editing and no hip hop trendy hits. Which may be heaven for some and limbo for others.

Starring along with the current James Bond is Geoffrey Rush and Jamie Lee Curtis. Pierce is still handsome as hell and he's still a spy. This time he's been exiled to Central America to cool his heels. Overly ambitious, he latches on to local tailor to the rich and powerful and starts to squeeze him for information becoming more ruthless and despicable with every turn. The colorful Rush obliges him with making stuff up and this leads to all kinds of intrigue. Jamie Lee reprises her wife-who-doesn't-know-her-husband-is-a-spy role that she did in True Lies, but without the little black dress. The humor is very dark and very British. The plot is reminiscent of the 1960 Alec Guinness-Ernie Kovacs gem, Our Man in Havana, an early spoof of the Bond saga.

Tailor is taken from the '96 Le Carré novel of the same name. John the spymaster shares screenplay credit along with Andrew Davies and the veddy British director John Boorman, most famous for Deliverance. Yes, this is the man responsible for Dueling Banjos. Receiving Acad noms for directing Hope and Glory and the Banjo movie, he also has a producing credit here.

This is the first film done on location in Panama so the look is fresh and it's beautifully shot by veteran, Phillipe Rousselot who is currently working on Planet of the Apes.

This film is getting almost no hype and no promotion. Again, it's very low key with no gunfire, car chases or blood. The politics of Panama are in the forefront with more than one reference to the 'Frankenstein' Noriega and how he was set him up by CIA Head, George the First, Bush that is. Ah hem.

There are some splendid character actors in the supporting cast like John Polito of TV's Homicide and Martin Ferraro of TV's Miami Vice. Playwright Harold Pinter is in the strangest cameo role you may see this year. Scoop du Jour: in the role of the Tailor's son, we get a look and the kid who will star in the Harry Potter film, Daniel Radcliffe.

There is some stock footage of the political unrest and references to the thoroughly corrupt Central American government with lines from the Tailor like, 'you know what the poor call those?' pointing to the city's skyline, 'Cocaine towers! And the 85 banks? Launderettes!' You can easily understand why the media isn't getting behind this thing. But then again Traffic didn't win best picture, Gladiator did.

It was a little weird from the get go wasn't it? I mean, didn't of these guys do battling Wyatt Earps a few years ago? Now we get battling Elvi?

I saw this last night because the advance press screening for Enemy at the Gates in San Francisco was packed. No, really, I love these two guys. The trailers looked good and the ads were kinda cool. But I was disenfranchised as a Florida voter with the reviews.

To my delight, they got it wrong. (Which happens a lot.) OK, it was comic book-violent and gimmicky but there was enough good stuff there to keep anyone giggling. Like Mr. Costner's psycho-clown/bad guy with sideburns that were more James Kirk than Elvis Aaron. Look out Steve Buchemi.

The convoluted plot was just barely goofy enough to follow. I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop.

There's a big casino heist. Federal Marshals, Kevin Pollack and the Dumb Guy from Wings, Thomas Haden Church, figure out there were two possible heirs to the Elvis Presley estate. Kevin Costner being one of them. He was the embittered Bastard Son. They never did say who the other one was. It had to be Kurt, right? I mean, he's the un-credited 'boy who kicks Elvis' in It Happened at the World's Fair. And where was that image? Why wasn't that shot licensed? They got Elvis' TV special in there. The first one, where he looked real good in the black leather outfit. (I get so tired of the overweight jumpsuit jokes. Elvis was our King. And that's it.)

Kurt Russell can do no wrong. His movies are great and he is a doll. Would everybody please just forgive `The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes' and just think of `Escape from NY' and `Big Trouble.' (Goldie Hawn is the luckiest woman on Earth.) And, above all, this guy was in an actual Elvis movie not to mention the biopic with Shelly Winters.

The rest of the cast was a little patchworky. Courtney Cox did an OK job as the trashy, underwear-showing Single Mom. David Kaye as her Klepto kid was particularly refreshing. Then you got the always-good Jon Lovitz, the always spooky Howie Long with a little Christian Slater and a pinch of David Arquette.

When was the last time Paul Anka was in a film? And what was Ice T doing in this thing? Answer: three scenes, two lines and about 800 rounds of ammunition.

At last, an action picture for women! Or gay guys, or anybody else who loves looking at gorgeous, soulful men. In New Line's latest, Fifteen Minutes, we are talking about Robert de Niro and Ed Burns. Overheard leaving the theater, one charming fellow to another 'Ed Burns really has to learn how to act.' Not with that face, pal!

The film gets its title from the Andy Warhol quote, 'In the future, everyone will be famous for 15 minutes.' And in our media saturated net/TV/radio/cel phone existence, this ridiculous prophecy is coming all too true. There is sad irony this film is released a few days after another high school shoot out. The film's tag line, America Likes to Watch ought to give anyone the willies.

But back to the movie, the supporting cast is fab. We get to see Avery Brooks (who didn't have nearly enough to do and knew it) and a charming cameo by David Allen Grier. This movie was lovingly shot on location in New York (and co-produced by de Niro's own Tribeca) and features a supporting cast of wonderful NY actors and actresses that is a refreshing change from the overused LA casting pool. Attention fans of TV's Law and Order. It's that same crowd and that same look.

Another treat, we get really nasty Russian bad guys. (Yea! We get to hate Commies again!) Czechoslovakian actor Karel Roden and Siberian, Oleg Taktarov are wonderful psychotic thugs entering the USA to find their bank robbing partners that got away with the loot while they went to prison. Oleg loves movies and steals a video camera in Times Square. His movie is the movie inside the movie.

They find their partners and then the crime spree kicks into high gear. There's a fire and NYFD arson investigator played by Ed Burns gets in cahoots with media darling homicide detective played by Robert de Niro. There is a lot of punching, car and foot chasing (through traffic yet) and of course shooting. Blood and roses too.

Ironically, the real villain of this film is the sleazy tabloid news anchor, played by a smarmy Kelsey Grammar who buys the criminal's video tape, giving these creeps their '15 minutes' and real life consigliere, Bruce Cutter, plays himself. Does a damn fine job too.

The sleaze is counter-balanced with the two very classy female leads, Melina Kanakaredes and Vera Farmiga. Both strong and smart, and, how nice, neither one of them is a prostitute or a stripper. I almost thought I would see a movie with either of those. Oh, but I was wrong, there is one female sex worker represented, but even she is surprisingly healthy before she gets naked and killed.

Writer/director John Herzfeld, of 2 Days In the Valley fame does a mighty fine job. The overall tone is dark, rough, funny and violent. The look is strictly MTV, very stylish skitzy quick cutting rock video. But be warned this is an extremely violent and bloody film. The required trendy hip-hop compilation soundtrack includes a cover of Bowie's Fame. Ha ha, I get it.

Like Judy told Liza, it's OK to steal, just steal from the best. There is a shot early in the film of a NY street at night, a sweeping pan of emergency vehicles that was reminiscent of the last shot of Taxi Driver. The only thing missing was the Bernard Herman score. Another goodie, guess who does another talking in the mirror scene? Are you giggling yet?

Soundtrack: God Lives Underwater "Fame" Maxim "Carmen Queasy" Breakbeat Era "Ultra Obscene" Rinocerose "La Guitaristic House" Moby "Porcelain (Rob D. Remix)" Prodigy "3 Kilos" David Holmes "Out Run" Gus Gus "Gun" Ballistic Mystic "52 Pick Up" Johann Langlie "Exedrene"