gapeach17

I was 19 when I saw this on Thanksgiving 2001, too old, perhaps, but I love "The Nutcracker" and had to make sure they didn't butcher it. To my surprise, it was an enjoyable, tasteful version of the ballet! Even though I've come to hate Barbie, she's not as bimbo-esque as they've made her to be over the years. Shocking still, Clara was actually a positive role model for young girls. Clara isn't your typical 14-year-old (I THINK that's how old the character was). She's more interested in travel and excitement than romance. She's also sweet, spunky, and brave, a nice modern girl.

There are new touches up the wazoo, but don't worry. There's still a ballet and love story to tell. For once, it's Barbie you can be proud of. So sit back come Christmas, relax, and let your young girls enjoy "Barbie in the Nutcracker"!

This is probably very un-American of me to say, but I never liked Disney's "Snow White", mainly because Snow White herself is such a twittering bimbo! There, I said it. On with the review:

I was very surprised at how good this version of "Snow White" was. The genie was cool, if a little creepy, and the acting is great. The highlight has to be the dwarves. Their names are days of the week and they travel by rainbow. One of them is even a girl! Faces to look for in the dwarf cast: veteran fantasy film star Warwick Davis ("Willow", "The 10th Kingdom"), as Saturday, Michael J. Anderson ("Twin Peaks") as the sweet leader dwarf Sunday, and Vincent Schiavelli (Uncle Enyos on season 2 of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer") as the negative Wednesday. The latter is an odd choice: he's not a dwarf at all! Oh, well.

Sadly, the biggest drawback is none other than Snow White herself. Kristin Kreuk ("Smallville") is unforgivably bland as Snow White. She's a stunning beauty, but little else. To break it down, Snow White's gone from having no brain to having no personality.

Still, "Snow White: The Fairest of Them All", is a treat for Hallmark movie fans. Catch it when it comes on video.

I can't believe that "Chocolat" was up for a Best Picture Oscar in 2001. This horrendous indie-wannabe is a sugary, anti-Catholic piece of garbage. The understated rebellion of the much more pleasant book is shoved in your face, and morals are scoffed at and bastardized. How the hell does following your Lenten vows make you a bad person??? What's wrong with attending church every week? And what's wrong with objecting to someone making chocolate treats called (I swear I'm not making this up) "Nipples of Venus"?!!?!?

Anyway, about the actors. Juliette Binoche may have won an Oscar for "The English Patient", but she's a human wasteland here, and what was with her facial expressions?! Most of the time she had none, and when she smiled, it looked like she was doped up with laughing gas! The normally pleasing Judi Dench is bland and annoying here, and I for one didn't like that creepy little grandson of Dench's character. His character is praised for being obsessed with death! I hated Alfred Molina's character: his laughable accent and Boris Badinoff moustache made him a ridiculous human cartoon of a villain. I normally love Johnny Depp, but he was miscast as an IRISH Gypsy (what the...?!). America is becoming less and less religious, and this movie probably made it worse. Lent is NOT that strict, and priests are not a bunch of blithering fools. Do yourself a favor: treat yourself to any chocolate you have in the house, anything to skip this unholy concoction.

How can you elaborately describe the magnificence of Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers's trademark film? "Top Hat" is classic by any standard, and even though I'm only 20, I almost long for that era of more innocent and original movies. In order to properly enjoy "Top Hat", one has to have patience and a sense of humor about the mistaken identity storyline. Fred and Ginger are in their finest form here, and the film helped carve out their images, that lead to their fortunes in the future. Fred is just excellent as performer Jerry Travers, and he strikes up several balances that are impossible for most men to achieve: he's elegant without being effeminate, charming without seeming phony, and gentle without being a wuss. Ginger is also good as Dale Tremont a wealthy...hey, what does Dale do for a living? Who cares? It's just one of the film's many unanswered questions. Ginger was part of the 30s' trend of sassy and classy women (the best of the bunch had to have been Katherine Hepburn). Every musical number is just outstanding. I for one like "The Piccolino" number: The scenery is beautiful (I want Heaven to look like that), the music sparkles, the dancing is great fun to watch, and Ginger wears what has to be her prettiest dress in the movie. The supporting cast is amazing, with Edward E. Horton as a blustering British manager, Helen Broderick as his sassy, no-nonsense wife, and Eric Blore as a sardonic butler. Best of all is Erik Rhoades, who is a scream as the ridiculous Italian, Alberto Bedini (don't watch this movie if you're overly politically correct). This movie does indeed "simply reek with class". It's the ultimate mood-lifter, so musical fans, don't miss it! Suspend your cynicism and enjoy "Top Hat", and you'll be in Heaven!

No doubt that "A Night at the Opera" is right up there with "Duck Soup" as the best Marx Brothers movie. Some Marx-purists complain "ANatO" is when the brothers started to grow soft and their quality started to decline. For one thing, instead of ridiculing romantic couples (the love story subplot plays a big part), they support them. Also, it's not as surreal or satirical as their past films. To those purists, I say: Lighten up! "ANatO" is just as funny as anything the Marx Bros did in the past (heck, I think it's funnier than "Monkey Business"), and it's withstood the test of time perfectly. In fact, "ANatO" is said to be Groucho's favorite; he even called his previous films "duds"! The film is filled with jabs at the upper class and double entendres courtesy of Groucho. Sample:

Mrs. Claypool: Do you have everything, Otis?

Otis: I haven't had any complaints yet!

The love story subplot isn't as nauseating as 1937's "A Day at the Races". Allan Jones may be a bit too mushy, but Kitty Carlisle, the love interest, is cool and calm enough to help it go down easily (that's really her singing, by the way). Chico and Harpo have some inspired moments, such as their gleeful butchering of "Il Travotore" (sp?). The hapless villains are the funniest Marx foils ever, and the finale is just uproarious. "ANatO" is a wonderfully silly romp, and it's rather harmless, so kids can probably watch and enjoy it. The famous stateroom scene is nothing short of brilliant, and you'll find yourself humming along to "Cosi Cosa" (I just wish the ballad "Alone" had been left, well, alone). Don't miss this hilarious masterpiece. And now, on with the opera!!

I saw "Election" on video after I had graduated from high school. By then I was really looking forward to it, because the overacheiver was going to be the villain! Sweet! (Note: you can tell I WASN'T an overachiever in high school). When this unentertaining, God-awful piece of dreck finally came to the end credits, I had never felt more disappointed or P.O'd at a movie. It was a boring, cynical, and exaggerated movie that seemed to scream "Look at us, we're proving something!!" in every scene. Now let's get down to the REAL griping. "Election" tells the story of Tracy Flick (Reese Witherspoon, talented as always, but not likable here). Despite her cherubic face, innocent curls and perky demeanor, Tracy is a budding tyrant underneath it all, with a bloodthirsty ambition to lead everything in high school (her list of extracurricular activities is ridiculously long), including being class president. Matthew McBroderick plays Tracy's teacher, Jim McAllister, who's fed up with this compulsive hand-raiser, and decides to have someone run against her in the election to take her down a notch. McAllister seems like the kind of guy Ferris Bueller would grow up to be, but he isn't. McAllister is the most hapless, hypocritical, morally bankrupt loser this side of "Seinfeld"'s George Costanza. He finally finds a competitor for Tracy in Paul Metzler (Chris Klein, who's actually pretty good). Paul isn't the brightest color of the rainbow, but he agrees to do it. Another person who competes is Paul's lesbian kid sister, Tammy. Tammy is supposed to be the voice of wisdom, but she's really nothing more than a self-obsessed, whiny delinquent.

"Election"'s biggest problem is that it's a satire that tries too hard to be a satire. It tries to prove too much, but fails miserably. It's short-sighted and vague much too often. For instance, the only character who's blessed with honesty, integrity, and self-discipline is Paul, and yet he's the dumbest character in the movie. Doesn't that imply that moral people are half-witted numbskulls? I thought it was a huge misstep that Tracy won the election. It not only defeats the purpose of the movie, but it also makes no sense because it's very obvious that Tracy isn't popular enough to have won in the first place. Too many things are also unexplained: why does McAllister constantly cheat on his wife? She doesn't seem bad, and they never delve into a clearer reason. I liked McAllister's punishment, but the wrong people got comeuppance. I won't go further than that, but please do yourself a favor and skip this wasted opportunity of a movie. You want an amusing satire? Rent the classic "Duck Soup" or "Rushmore" instead.

When "Legally Blonde" first came out, I rolled my eyes because it seemed like yet another half-witted teeny bopper movie. When I saw it at a friend's house, however, I was very pleasantly surprised!!

"Legally Blonde" is most likely to draw comparisons to "Clueless" or "Private Benjamin", but yet in many cases, it has style all its own. Reese Witherspoon sparkles as sweet, if slightly vapid, Elle Woods, who improbably has a 4.0. G.P.A. Her perky demeanor is crushed (for a while, anyway) when her pond scum boyfriend, Warner Huntington III dumps her on a big date. When she finds out that he's going to Harvard Law, Elle decides to enroll too in order to win him back. After hard work and good old dumb luck, Elle is accepted and goes to Harvard with her cute little dog in tow (Bruiser the Chiuaua, who steals every scene he's in). More obstacles come in Elle's way, however, from the fact that Warner has met someone else, to tough -as -nails classmates and teachers.

My only two complaints in the movie? The occasional waste of a stunning supporting cast. Selma Blair, who plays Elle's nasty rival, does nothing more than sneer most of the time. What a shame, considering she was so wonderful as Cecile in "Cruel Intentions". Another waste is Holland Taylor ("The Practice") as Elle's tough love teacher. Taylor is only in three or four measly scenes, and she's luminous in every one she's in. Final gripe? The mean classmates; c'mon, they're in college, not high school! College kids are so much nicer than that.

Is "Legally Blonde" high art or completely intelligent? No. Is it great fun and 2001's best mood-lifter? You know it. So ladies, release your inner girlie girl, put your feet up, and enjoy "Legally Blonde"!

"Carefree" is one of Fred and Ginger's more underrated films, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it's not their best effort, either. Ginger is the star of the show for a change, and she also pursues Fred before he pursues her. Ginger is Amanda, a radio singer (talk about outdated!!) and Fred is Tony, a cynical and unromantic shrink(very un-Fred like). Amanda's fiance Steve (played by a VERY young Ralph Bellamy, whom you've seen in "Trading Places" and "Pretty Woman") sends Amanda to Tony because she's indecisive about marrying him (feminists will probably hate this movie). After some offbeat circumstances, Amanda falls for Tony, but neither he or Steve will have any of it. I'll stop there because there are spoilers up the wazoo. "Carefree" does have some stuff going for it; for instance, Ginger makes a terrific fool of herself (which used to be Fred's job), and there's a magnificent dance that takes place in a dream sequence. "I Used to be Color Blind" is shot in perfect slow motion and both Ginger and Fred defy gravity. No special effects needed. One of the problems with the movie is include the hard to swallow romance between G&F. True, their films are never probable, but come on. Still, it's a great guilty pleasure, and "Color Blind", "The Yam" (the song's lame, but the dance is priceless), and the elegant "Change Partners" are great fun to watch. Catch it on TCM on a rainy day.

I completely agree with my fellow film buffs that "Swing Time" ties with "Top Hat" as Fred and Ginger's best musical together. While "Top Hat" has an elegant, almost dreamy atmosphere to it, "Swing Time" gets a gold star for its more real (albeit musical numbers) and honest feel. Fred and Ginger just shine as dapper Lucky and sassy but classy Penny. One of their best dance numbers together is the spontaneous and fun "Pick Yourself Up", where Fred is in overly formal attire and Ginger wears a cute black business dress. Fred's big moment in the sun, however, is the legendary "Bojangles of Harlem" number. Many people today object to it because Fred dances in black face, but I feel it's totally misunderstood. Instead of the awful, grotesque black face Al Jolson wore (pitch black face with white lips), Fred wears tasteful theatrical makeup (think Laurence Olivier as Othello). Also, Fred isn't doing a jig in a cotton field and eating watermelon; the backdrop is a city with glamorous backup dancers. It's not a racist parody, it's one great dancer's tribute to another (that's who Bojangles was, after all). Forget what's on Fred's face, just watch him display a talent no one sees anymore. Because that's what it is: talent and tribute, not hate.