csed
Lifetime Total
5+
Lifetime Trivia
1+
IMDb Member
23 years
Reviews
Perfect Assassins (1998)
"Release the level two's - and arm them!"
Watching this disaster, I think I must've said "I can't believe that I'm still watching this" about fifty times. I'm supposed to believe that the guy from Mannequin is tough? HAH! And Robert Patrick, shame on you! In this film, Evil T-100 you ain't.
I would've rated this movie a "1," but it was comically bad. Too bad MST3K isn't in production anymore - this one's prime material.
I would've rated this movie a "1," but it was comically bad. Too bad MST3K isn't in production anymore - this one's prime material.
Highlander II: The Quickening (1991)
This film was unmitigated crap!
I can best sum my feelings about Highlander II by relating an experience that I had at another movie a couple of years later:
A friend of mine and I were watching the previews, waiting for our movie (The Crow) to start. One of the previews was for Highlander III. Of course, the trailer ended with Christopher Lambert saying, "There can be only one!" At this point, my friend stands up and yells "There should've BEEN only one! Highlander Two SUCKED!" The entire audience erupted into laughter.
Highlander II exhibits disregard for the plot established in the original film. "Planet Zeist?" WHAT?! Awful.
A friend of mine and I were watching the previews, waiting for our movie (The Crow) to start. One of the previews was for Highlander III. Of course, the trailer ended with Christopher Lambert saying, "There can be only one!" At this point, my friend stands up and yells "There should've BEEN only one! Highlander Two SUCKED!" The entire audience erupted into laughter.
Highlander II exhibits disregard for the plot established in the original film. "Planet Zeist?" WHAT?! Awful.
Rocky V (1990)
There is no such movie!
Rocky V has made it to my "Black-Ops" list of films - I disavow any knowledge of this movie's existence. THAT'S how bad this movie was. Don't worry - it's got "good" company (e.g., Highlander II - The Quickening).
Tommy Morrison? Paul Winfield as a food-stamps Don King? Rock's wussy son? The only hope for this dreck would've been Paulie's robot embarking on a bloodthirsty rampage - and only Balboa can stop him.
Don't waste your time.
Tommy Morrison? Paul Winfield as a food-stamps Don King? Rock's wussy son? The only hope for this dreck would've been Paulie's robot embarking on a bloodthirsty rampage - and only Balboa can stop him.
Don't waste your time.
Jimmy the Kid (1982)
Ah, memories...
When I was about 10 years old, Jimmy The Kid was on HBO just about every day. I must've watched this movie a good 30 times during the summer of 1984. It was pretty lame, but there was just something about it that kept drawing me in.
The Beastmaster (1982)
I always get a good laugh out of this one
When I was a kid growing up in New Jersey, my parents actually cancelled Showtime from our cable service largely because Beastmaster was on almost every day and they got tired of seeing it.
I, on the other hand, loved watching a strung-out looking Marc Singer, teamed with ferrets, a tiger with a bad dye job, and the father from Good Times, battling evil.
Sigfried and Roy would be proud!
I, on the other hand, loved watching a strung-out looking Marc Singer, teamed with ferrets, a tiger with a bad dye job, and the father from Good Times, battling evil.
Sigfried and Roy would be proud!