rebeltaz-18705

How much money does hollywood have to lose playing to the lowest common denominator before they get it - nobody wants this crap. They are literally out of original ideas, so they do one of two things - in the words of South Park, "put a chick in it and make her ..." -or- colorize an original movie and put it out as if it's brand new; stunning and brave.

Yeah... I know.. this wasn't made for me. Awesome. Except that when we - those for whom this isn't written - don't wholeheartedly support it, it's because we're Ray Cyst. We are sick of this attempt at erasure. We are sick of this attempt at rewriting the past.

Go watch the original 1991 movie with Christina Applegate and let hollywood know what you think of this trash.

Take a guess why I had to use the language I did? I'll give you a hint - George Orwell, Nineteen Eighty Four.

This is apparently some film school dropout's final project. They TRY to be "artsy" throughout the whole thing. It starts out with three rapid fire scenes with no context. Then we are "treated" to a monochromatic kaleidoscope of fractal images with some trippy music in the background. I swear, if I'd had some LSD, I'd have at least been in the right mood.

All these dropouts seem to think that slow motion builds tension. It is an overused trope that every one of these art projects over use. I'm serious... I have seen molasses flowing up hill in January at a faster pace than this... movie. There is one scene where Alice is literally slow motion crawling across the floor for a GOOD five minutes. If they had run all of the slow motion scenes at normal speed, the movie would have been at least half an hour shorter. Not a lie.

Then, as is the case with every single modern "movie," the entire thing is filmed with two candles and a 4 watt night light bulb. I swear... what is it with this freaking trend?! You might as well make it a radio play for all you can actually see.

I'll bet you want to know about the plot, though, don't you? Yeah... you and me both. The entire thing is a really bad retelling of "Alice in Wonderland" with a twist you can see coming a mile away.

There is an adult, x-rated version of "Alice in Wonderland" - a musical at that! - from 1976 that has a better story line, better acting (and better lighting) than this trainwreck of a "movie."

It has been YEARS since there has been a really good, entertaining movie that wasn't pushing some agenda. There is no identity politics. So social agenda. Nothing but a fun movie experience.

Yes... the vampire trope has been done to death. Yet they were still able to come up with a unique twist. Of course, if you're paying attention, you can figure it out, but that doesn't take anything away from the movie.

I enjoy my horror with a bit of humour. This checked that box in spades. There was plenty of giggle moments.

If you like vampire movies, you will want to see this. Of course, if you prefer your entertainment to push a narrative.. tough.

For the love of all that is holy... LEARN TO LIGHT A FREAKING SCENE! Every. Single. Scene. Is backlit with daylight coming through the windows and ZERO fill lighting. In a police station, apparently they cannot afford to pay the power bill. Not a single light is on. At night, there is the equivalent of 4 watt night light bulbs "lighting" the scene, again from behind, so that the main figures are silhouetted. There is one scene in the killer's basement where there is literally a dual fixture flood light - FLOOD light, mind you - that apparently puts out as much area light as MAYBE a single 40 watt bulb. And that is being generous. I don't know who started this ignorant, film-school-dropout trend of poor lighting, but they should be forced to participate in one of these "Russian Roulette" games.

OK... enough about the lack of lighting. The movie itself... meh. It's been done before, and in much better fashion. There is no reason for the killer or his games. There is no rhyme nor reason to the "contestants" choosing. There is no reason for the convict that is called in to help, and then once he does, he's completely forgotten. As a matter of fact, once the feds come in and take over (like they always do), towards the end, the just aren't there. No reason. No mention.

Oh, but just for checklist's sake, there is one of each... just because. No matter who you are, you WILL see yourself in this movie. As a matter of fact, I have never seen so many foreign language speakers in America in my life. I will give it that the usual suspects are not all knowing and all powerful. The casting is the only thing "current." But It is still noteworthy just for the sake of transparency.

Nah... don't even bother with this one.

This could have been a good story. I don't want to give anything away just in case, for some reason, you actually want to watch this, but if you are familiar with the names Lucy, Harker and Carfax Abbey, then you already know the story from which this is a REWRITE. It's not a bad MODERN RE-IMAGINING as far as MODERN takes go. So why the lowest rating possible?

From the very get go, we are told that the British are polite as attrition for their "colonialism." We're told that several of the characters are "the whitest men I've ever seen." Throughout, race is a factor - but of course it is CURRENT YEAR, so you know which way that wind blows. And this in a movie where the main heroine is mixed.

Speaking of the main heroine, she might as well have been named Mary Sue instead of Evelyn for all of which she is capable. This starving artist from New York and her African friend (who is currently working through, in therapy, the fact that she prefers to date white diablos) are somehow able to take on, single-handedly, immortal gods.

If you have a single shred of dignity; If you have any sense of self-pride... do not, I repeat - DO NOT even bother with this piece of Didn't Earn It crap.

OK... the movie wasn't TERRIBLE, but it was far from good. What really shocked me was the constant man-hating that the brunette kept spouting. That was the majority of her dialog. Not little snide remarks here and there. I mean full on, literally, "all men are evil."

Honestly, the only reason I sat through it as long as I did was because of Marcia Brady (Maureen McCormmick) and Teri from "Three's Company" (Priscilla Barnes). Agent 99 (Barbara Feldon) is just an annoying whiny... thing - the exact opposite of her character on "Get Smart."

The story itself is contrived. The acting is subpar - especially coming from these people who know how to act. The lines - again, especially the strong-independent-don't-need-no-man brunette - are cringe to say the least. As I'm writing this, I'm trying to remember what it is that led me to give it the high score of five stars...

If you are a fan of any of the girls, you MIGHT enjoy it... if you can overlook all of the negatives about it. Otherwise... skip it.

Anyone giving this more than three stars (and that is being generous to a fault) is related to this project in some form. Period. There is no way anyone can give this trainwreck a high score. There are six characters in the whole movie and every single one is more unlikable than that last.

The main ...girl... looks like a boy and of course is a vegan, because... reasons. I will at least give credit that, when mom asks her if she likes girls (because, you know... reasons), she at least claims to "like boys, they just don't like {her}." Maybe if she actually looked like a girl,.. but I digress. She can't act, either. At one point, she is supposed to be crying, but what comes out is... I don't even know what that was.

Of course you've got the completely unnecessary line about Mexican girls going missing but "no one cares about poor brown girls." :eye_roll: Gotta shoehorn that into everything nowadays, huh? The whole "Mexican girls" thing had literally no bearing on the rest of the movie whatsoever. It was just a vehicle to insert that single line.

Mom.. wow. That woman could not act her way out of a wet paper bag. The facial expressions she makes look more like she's constipated than whatever emotions she supposed to be trying to express. Her lines don't make sense either. At one point she tells her daughter that "nothing was a lie" but then goes on to explain how everything was, in fact, a lie. :eye_roll:

The old man smiles the entire time. No matter what is happening around him - talking about his daughter who was murdered, people getting killed, his wife being threatened... he smiles nonstop. I guess he's ok, comparatively speaking, in contrast to the other characters, but... nah.

Way too many plot holes. The main girl is locked in a shed at one point. A shed with windows. Does she try to open a window? Or use one of the many tools around her to break a window? Nah... too easy. No explanation about the reasoning surrounding any of it - the mask, the "rituals"... nothing.

The only redeeming quality, if you can call it that, is Michael Madsen. I've always liked him and he is the only reason I even sat through this abomination. And trust me... no matter how much you like Madsen, he does not make this worth it.

I've learned that, generally speaking, the more the "average John Q. Public" doesn't like something, the more I will. Modern audiences have forgotten what entertainment is supposed to be - entertaining. Period. This movie fills that requirement in spades. I didn't even realize that this was a two hour movie until I saw it mentioned in someone else's review. Unlike most modern day fare, time didn't drag while watching this.

I don't know who all these people are who claim that they didn't laugh or only "smirked" a couple of times. These people must have no sense of humour at all. My girlfriend and I were laughing out loud throughout the entire movie. Some of the humour was "hit you over the head," Groucho Marx style, while other times, it's just a subtle offhanded comment. Cena and Brie are funny, but. Raba is hilarious.

Speaking of those characters, both Cena and Brie are easy to like - Brie, not so much at the beginning, but as the story went on, she became much more likable. Raba, though.... That is one character that I wouldn't mind hanging out with. Just the right mix of crazy and fun.

Since everyone else wants to point to flaws in logic as to their negative reviews, allow me to address those. Bullets - yep... apparently not a single bad guy can aim a gun. Every single one of them misses easy shots. People... it's an ACTION/COMEDY, not a freaking documentary. There's very few action and/or comedy movies where the bad guys are a good shot. You know why? The same reason why the good guys in horror movies never seem to have a gun in hand - because the story would be over in ten minutes. I think box offices have shown that normal people do not want reality injected into their entertainment.

While we're on that subject... I know the reason that this movie is getting dunked on so much. Is the lack of any current narrative push. No unnecessary representation. No preaching to the audience about how evil they are. No forced Reality™ as the Powers That Be see it, or rather, want it to be.

Although... being set in a country run by a dictator, there is a small amount of politics involved. Just not the politics that the Approved Sources™ want you to know. For instance... did you know that America has, in the past, propped up dictators that were loyal to the US? Did you know that America has, in the past, been involved in assassinations of enemies - both successfully and unsuccessfully. Those points are touched on in this movie. But I guess True Reality is just too much for some people...

If you want a movie free from modern restraints, that is laugh out loud enjoyable - then this movie is for you.

Twenty minutes. That was as long as I could take it. The first Equalizer was great. The second one was pretty good. I had high hopes for this. I don't know why. There hasn't been a decent movie come out of hollywood in over a decade. But... I was hoping...

For twenty minutes, I sat through an Italian language film. In that entire time, there was MAYBE a dozen words in English. I have no desire to READ a movie. If I want to read something, I'll pick up a book. As a matter of fact... that's exactly what I did as soon as I turned this off.

The scenes that I did see jumped from one place to another with no rhyme nor reason. Denzel is in one diner having dinner. The next second he's in another street cafe having tea. We bounced all over Italy in the twenty minutes that I could sit through.

There was absolutely no story whatsoever before I stopped watching. Whether there was EVER any story, I don't know, but by that point, I could NOT have cared less.

THIS is how entertainment should be! Pure fun without the baggage current year movies are saddled with. None of the usual forced plot points at all, whatsoever! While that, in and of itself, ranks really high for me in today's world, this movie is so much more.

First, I was literally laughing out loud (using the original, traditional meaning of those words) throughout this movie. Adam Sandler is just as funny as he ever was and Jennifer Aniston has never been funnier. Speaking of Jennifer Aniston - that girl is still as hot as ever. She is a true Hollywood beauty. Both of them are amazing and have real chemistry on screen.

Almost every character was likeable, even the evil ones. The only real exceptions being the "countess" and her... whatever she is supposed to be. Those two were completely despicable. The "countess" herself was absolutely arrogant, what with her continued "Americans" sneer. The whatever was just an annoying parrot whose only lines were repeating what her whatever said and a REALLY annoying laugh.

The plot was totally ridiculous. Absolutely. Not a snowball's chance in Hades of it ever being a real story. It's called COMEDY, people! It's not SUPPOSED to be reality. Those knocking this for that reason... it's ok. This movie wasn't made for you.

I have to point this out, too, because it's a freaking miracle given the overabundance of film school dropouts making films today, but ... Would you believe that this movie has proper lighting!? I mean, none of the "entire room is lit by a single 4watt nightlight" that we've all come to know and despise! Sad that THAT is a pro when reviewing a movie, I know, but... there it is :shrug:

There are a few obscenities - twice where Adam says "g-d-mn" - but it's still far more family friendly than most anything put out today. If you want a movie you and your family can enjoy without being forced to feel bad for being who you are... if you want a movie that is just good fun... This is about as close as you are likely to come in current year.

As someone who grew up in the Catholic Church and attended Catholic School for nine years, I KNOW Catholic dogma. I also know that many Catholics (as well as other Sunday Christians) take themselves WAY too seriously. I know several who refuse to enjoy anything not explicitly sanctioned by the Holy See. Most of the negative reviews here were apparently written by these types. That and the ones who openly admit to being atheist, but are then :shocked: that they don't like Christian movies with Christian themes.

So... yes. The writers DID take a few liberties with the text:

* The age difference between Mary and Joseph. In reality, she was 14-ish and he was 30-ish. Here, they are both late teens. Most every retelling of the Nativity gets this wrong, so as to not offend modern audiences.

* Mary is shown as wanting to be a teacher like her father instead of getting married. Others claim she is shown as a 'rebellious' feminist. We're not given any information in the Bible about Mary prior to being betrothed to Joseph. How do we know she didn't not want to get married? She may not act like the submissive female of that era, but at the end of the day, does it really matter? Does it change the story any any way? No.

* The Angel Gabriel is initially shown as being unsure of what he needs to say, rehearsing it different ways before waking Mary. He even hits his head as he floats into her room. The rehearsal is eye_roll inducing, but the whole movie has a comedic slant to it. Again, at the end of the day... not that big a deal.

* The wise men are shown more like the three Stooges, as others have pointed out. Again, the whole movie has a comedic slant to it. At the end of the day... does it really matter? No. I mean, why does everyone assume that everyone involved in the life of Jesus was a stoic, terminally serious, gloomy Gus? These are living, breathing, humans. They had joy in their lives and there is nothing wrong with showing them with a sense of humour. A sense of humour which, by the way, comes from God.

* The Holy Family is shown fleeing Bethlehem when Herod's son finds them and then, after Mary stands up to him, allows them to go; that they are "under his protection." THIS is the only deviation from Scripture with which I have a problem. Mary, Joseph and Jesus were never under any mortal's protection. They were under GOD'S protection and told to flee in a dream/vision given to Joseph.

Aside from the poetic licenses taken... the movie was fun. It wasn't some stodgy retelling of the same story we've heard verbatim for two thousand years, with no human emotions like laughter and playfulness. It showed a corny side of the figures we've all seen as ritualistic, and I happen to like corny humour.

I like musicals, but only certain types. "Repo - the Genetic Opera" is a specific type I like, as is the original "the Music Man." Normally, I can do without the singing in most shows. Most of the songs in this, though, were REALLY good. I found myself tapping along to a couple of them. There were a couple I could do without, but nobody likes everything.

All in all, I would say that this is a good, clean movie without overt modern day injections that you can sit and watch as a family.

It's rare these days to see a show - especially a kids show - that doesn't have some ulterior contrivance to push. This Is the rare exception to the today's programming . As a 50+ year old kid at heart who still watches cartoons, I love this show. The show is hilarious. The story line is fun. There's no lessons to be learned. No preaching. Nothing but good, clean fun that everyone can enjoy! My favorite character is Fred, Kevin and Gretel's cousin. She's cool (as in as a cucumber), laid back and nothing shocks or amazes her. All of the characters are interesting, though. Just go watch it. You'll love it. Guaranteed or your money back :)

It is amazing the mental pretzels you have to go through to be able to tell people that a show is WORTH watching around here!

The reason for the negative reviews is simple... No one is spoon feeding you the current year talking points in this one. You have to actually have an intellect to be able to understand it.

There are a few clues here and there that, if you are paying attention, you can make some good guesses about what is going on. Even with the clues, there are some good twists and turns that might still surprise you. Trust me... anyone who is saying that nothing makes sense... this movie wasn't made for them.

I'd say that this was a cross between Stephen King's "Firestarter" and "Inception."

The acting is so much better than most movies I've seen in the past decade. The scenes were well lit - which in and of itself adds an extra star from me. There is absolutely ZERO politics or social commentary here. There is absolutely ZERO representation just for the sake of representation. The script was well written. The story is unique, while being rooted just enough in reality to be believable. (If you are not familiar with the programs run by the alphabet agencies, you need to do some research. You will be surprised at how close this is to reality!)

If you are looking for a good, intellectual movie that you can just enjoy without being force fed current year ideals... this is definitely for you. If you want to see yourself in everything... maybe something else would be better for you.

I REALLY wanted to like this movie. I like all of the stars - Joel McHale, Justin Long, Katharine Isabell, William B Davis.... I enjoy movies and TV shows with an "It's a Wonderful Life" theme. What I don't enjoy are movies that feel the need to have everyone "represented." The two siblings are both gay as is the aunt and the geekygirl. The white grandfather has a black granddaughter who's dating a white guy. And that is the sole reason this was made. There's no real story. There's no build up, no explanation of anything other than "it just is," no moral to be learned (as in all the other iterations of this classic tale)... This is just a vehicle for current year ideology. Period.

I am really surprised at how bad the aforementioned actors actually were. I know that they can act. I've seen them do it. Apparently, they were all just in need of a check and were like "alright, let's get this over with."

Just.... don't do it.

These are my opinions of this movie, which is the very definition of a review. There is nothing derogatory here. Every word written is a fact and an accurate description of this movie. You would think that the powers-that-be here would WANT people to read what is in this movie. I mean... after all, is that not the very reason these movies are made? To showcase these aspects? So why pull something that points them out? Those who want to see it, will do so based on the inclusions. Those who do not want to see it based on the inclusions will not. Simple. Salus populi suprema lex esto.

OK... when I saw this movie yesterday, I was thinking the same as a lot of you... the acting is far from professional and the casting, especially in the case of the lead actress, could have been better. The I got to thinking... the whole story is about inner beauty being more important than external beauty, so why wouldn't they cast an actress who, while not unattractive, is not drop dead gorgeous? But then I read even more about this film...

This story is based on a true story. We are told that both at the beginning and end of the film. What I didn't realize is that the two stars - Jenn Gotzon and Jim E. Chandler - are the REAL people on whom this film is based! So, yeah... now the casting makes perfect sense and the acting is understandable. She was a real model and he was a real farmer- not professional actors.

Having said all of that... if you long for a more idyllic life, more "Leave it to Beaver" than "the Simpsons," then you will like this. If you are offended by religion and family values, don't even bother. What is it we're told? ... "This movie wasn't made for you."

This "movie" is nothing but a ninety four minute long social-political diatribe. It hits on every single issue you could possibly think of. Racism. Gun control. Vax versus anti-vax. BLM. Abortion. Bullying. Mass shootings. Cheating. Racial mixing. Patriotism. Patriarchy. "My body my choice." Metoo. And I honestly don't know to whom they thought they were preaching. The killer (aka the "right wing conspiracy theorist"), while speaking Truth, seems to be being mocked. The "heroine" (aka the "left wing activist") parroted every single line that their side utters. Me, personally... I couldn't stand either one of them. I will tell you, though, that this woman, who is all of 98 pounds soaking wet, is shot three times and yet she STILL manages to overpower a trained ex-military male twice her size. Uh huh. Everything she does in the process of trying to stay alive is, while technically the correct things, is not what any typical human is going to know to do, much less even think of while penned down under fire and under duress, much less a leftist, female drug rep. So she's got the whole Mary Sue think going for her.

Aside from that, there is zero story. The bianco woman is cheating on her husband with a... darker man. They leave the hotel and run out of gas. Come to find out, someone had punched the tank. Her husband had told her to take this detour, so ... did he have something to do with this? Who knows. We never find out. Why is the killer killing? Who knows. We never find out. Who was the killer? Who knows. We never find out. She says multiple times that she "can't have children" but then she claims that she can't have children "because of people like (the killer)" and all of the societal woes in the current year. So which is it? You CAN'T have children or you don't WANT to have children? The "story" aspect of this takes up all of MAYBE five minutes and that is being generous.

If you've ever read any of my other reviews, you will know that my number one pet peeve today is the latest trend in lighting, or rather lack thereof. It's like every modern filmmaker dropped out of school before they got to good lighting techniques. After seeing this... those movies look like professional jobs! For five minutes we sat in total darkness while people talked. Everyone had a flashlight, but somehow, the light emitted defied all known conventional laws of physics. You could see the light of the flashlight, but it was unable to illuminate a single element of the scene.

Even before this, though, this group of friends was standing outside in broad daylight and you could not even see their faces for the shadows. Another director that thinks neutral density filters with no fill light equals "nighttime".

The "acting" of this motley crew was deplorable. I've seen better actors in the local kindergarten Christmas pageants. Seriously.

Unless you are atoning for some egregious sin, run - do not walk - as fast as you can from this pisspoor excuse for a movie.

Well... alright, not exactly ALL female cast... there are a small handful of background noise characters, but that's all they are so you can just ignore them. The only... and it even makes me sick to type this word, but.... male "star" is pure evil, so... thank the gods we can ignore him too!

We all know that the cast of the original "Nun" was way too light, if you know what I mean. Thanks to the award requirements, they were finally forced to add some color to this franchise. I guess the filmmakers figured one girl would be enough, but at least (within the first five minutes no less!) she WAS able to work into a conversation that her family was driven from their homes in Mississippi and ended by the why-teaDevils in hoods. That helps to make up for the fact that she is the only one of our sisters in the whole movie, but not much.

I was really glad to see that they were able to work into the plot a subtle swipe at the Catholic faith, from the mouth of a nun, no less! That one nun (not our strong, brave sister, though) was on the train trying to justify her faith when she said "as Catholics, our beliefs are only real because we believe." lol...

My only real gripe with the movie is the fact that they couldn't afford lighting :( There isn't a single light bulb in the whole convent or in the girls' school. There are a few nightlights in the Vatican's archives, but they are so dim, that they don't even light up the books, much less the scene. There is a small lamp on each desk, but it just barely provides enough light to read by. The strong, brave, independent sisters in arms surrounding the desk can't even be seen!

Yes... this is supposedly BASED on true events. Yes, these people were done wrong. But this movie is no different from every other modern piece that has come out in the past decade. The entire premise is skewed around the bianco bad narrative. Every bianco character is skeezy, manipulative, underhanded and/or just plain evil. The other peoples, of course, are all strong, brave, and the very image of greatness. People are individuals, some good, some evil.... this movie does not reflect REAL Truth. It instead portrays truth™ as hollywood sees it.

The acting is better described as overacting. The plot is trite. The filming looks like it was done by a film school drop out. The characters are not likable at all. That it takes three and a half hours to tell this 'story' is ridiculous. 90% of the film could have been cut and it would have still been boring.

Every word here is MY OPINION. That is the very definition of a review... MY OPINION on what I thought about the movie.

Oh My Gosh. Where do I even start. The wrapper was a good , if not overused, premise - girl gets picked on and plans revenge. Just like any low-budget flick, they didn't bother spending too much on extras. Apparently, the five 'students' that this story revolves around were the only ones who attend this school. Oh sure... we HEAR about all the other 'kids' that the goth girl invited to her party... but we never see anyone else. At the party, to which only four people were invited... can someone explain to me why there was a need to hire, not just a valet, but two!? When the guests arrive, it is dark outside, yet when everyone walks inside, the sun is shining in the doorway behind them. :eye_roll: I was expecting a different twist once the party got going, and the ending was not expecting... so that was good...

The stories themselves... The first one was ok. Really bad acting and for a bar on a weekend night... once again the lack of funds for extras really shows. As with the main wrapper, it's supposed to be night, but at times it looks more like broad daylight filmed through a neutral density filter and other times it flips from sunny to pitch black just like that. But it was a good tale with an ending that you won't expect. I'd have given that story alone four stars, maybe higher if they'd done a better job producing it and better acting.

The second story... holy 'ell. You've got a couple in the middle of the DESERT (keep that word in mind) and they are walking a ways off the road in the DESERT (with no car in which they arrived to be seen) and they walk up to a block building in the middle of the DESERT. They tell the old man there that they are looking for a good place to camp. He tells them that the FOREST is haunted and that they don't want to camp there. Just then, another guy drives up and, he too is looking for a place to camp. This is the busiest DESERT I have ever seen. And throughout the story, everyone keeps calling this DESERT a forest. There isn't a freaking tree to be seen, but ... sure. We have the same problem with day and night that we've seen throughout the rest of the film, with the added bonus of the couple changing clothes from one scene to the next.

The final story... all I will say about this one is that it rainbow approved.

If you read the negative comments, you will get a picture of the average writer. They do not like Kevin Sorbo, his politics, his religion or apparently even his existence. I seriously doubt any of the even watched the movie.

Is this movie "preaching to the choir?" Well, yeah. Of course it is. Isn't every movie with a point preaching to the choir? Unless you already agree with the message of the movie, you aren't going to be watching it. That goes for any movie on either side of any topic. I'm not going to go watch some leftist movie anymore than I would expect anyone other than a Christian to be watching this movie.

Yes, it does focus more on the political side of the Antichrist. That is going to be a main element of the End Times. Revelation speaks of a One World Government. Prophecy speaks of the political climate in the End Times. So why WOULDN'T this movie also delve into that aspect?

Some have called it, "too preachy." Again... It's a Christian movie. What else would you expect? Anyone who didn't expect a "preachy" movie going into it, must have thought they were going to be watching something else all together different.

I will also admit that the movie feels rushed. But... they were trying to fit a lot into two hours. I would have really preferred this been a TV series. THAT would have been awesome. But... it is what it is.

Anyone who has read any of my other reviews should already know what I hated about this movie... Even though this was not a "big budget hollywood production," apparently they took cues for the other guys... BUY A FREAKING LIGHT BULB!!! Every single scene is lit with on;y sunlight as illumination. In the TV producers' office, we see a shot that is angled upwards and not a single one of the florescent tubes are lit. The whole movie is filmed like this. I don't know where all of these people went to film school but for the love of God... please stop it! Light a scene, already!

One final thought... while I agree with the theology of the movie, I do not agree with the timeline. If you read Matthew 24, Jesus Himself tells his Disciples that the good and the evil will be taken together in the End Times. Any Rapture will not occur PER-Tribulation.

If you like the books on which this is based; if you want to see a wholesome movie; if you just like Kevin Sorbo... go watch this and ignore all the haters. Better yet... better get used to them. It'll only get worse...

I swear I am to the point, I am ready to go to the store, buy some boxes of light bulbs and send every one of these studios a box. Apparently, none of them can afford anything other than night lights. I don't know who told these films school dropouts that filming every scene in near darkness somehow adds anything to a scene, but... it doesn't!

In this particular experiment in darkness, you have a scene where the characters are sitting in the door way of the school. Broad daylight outside. And yet... the entire school is in near complete darkness! It's as if there is a force field in the door way preventing any light whatsoever from entering the building. Of course, there's not a single light on in the school. When the girls are in the bathroom, it's "lit" as if we're in a backwoods rests stop bathroom where every light but a single 40w bulb is working.

The father is sitting by himself in an empty hospital room - in the dark. When was the last time you EVER saw ANY room in a hospital that didn't have the lights on? And when the daughter walks in, does she turn the lights on? Of course not.

You have a monster that is scared of lights, so what does the lady do? Does she turn on every light in the house? Of course not! She puts a hundred votive candles in the hallway. Sure.. makes sense. There is a 1500w halogen work light down stairs, though, but for some hollywood-only-knows reason, this thing puts out about as much light a directional night light.

Lights in the house? Why would they do that? The monster hates the light. So let's play in the dark rooms. Let's sit in dark living rooms. Oh, but the little girl has a magic illuminated moon model that is somehow ALWAYS charged and always on. The shrinks' office is no better. Lit with only the light coming through the windows and that is assuming that it's about 4pm on a rainy, winter day.

I almost forgot about the warning message. On a movie that has people being killed by a demon from hell, a teenager that cusses like a sailor (at her dad, no less, who says nothing)... let's put a warning that there is a scene of "tobacco" use. :eye_roll: And it's not tobacco. It's marijuana. But THAT is the line they draw at what we need to be warned about.

Then we have continuity issues. For instance, the teen finds a camcorder packed away. She finds in it a tape that has her mama holding her when she was an infant. So this camera has been packed away for at least 14, 15 years... yet the battery in it is fully charged to the extent that she can watch the film and her "friends" can record with it. I need one of those everlasting batteries!

If all of that doesn't bother you, don't worry. The story is trite. The "acting" is subpar at best. The characters are all unlikable. By the end, if you make it that far, you will be rooting for the demon.

If I had it to do all over again, this would be a hard pass for me... and it should be for you, too. You'll thank me later!

This is a Lizzie Borden knock off written for a, ahem, modern... audience. It's got everything... panda love; unrequited girl love; strong, independent, dont-need-no-man women... about the only thing it DOESN'T have is any entertainment value.

The few males that are in this are there as nothing more than ancillary afterthoughts. They don't speak, except when spoken to, and even then, it's only as subordinates.

The girl is seventeen, yet she goes off to a bed and breakfast to spend the night with her darker boyfriend. The lady running the place doesn't bother asking for ID.

Her female friend is so jealous of the girl being with a boy instead of her that, when she's not playing with herself under the covers and rubbing up on a dress, she takes to cutting.

The husband of the murder victim (this happens in the first few minutes, so no spoiler) couldn't care less that his wife is missing/dead.

Oh, there is a ghost... I think? But the ghost/spirit/whatever has absolutely NO bearing on the story whatsoever. Just another character thrown in as an after thought.

All of this and what really bothered me so much is that for the first ten minutes, there is not a single word of dialog. But then again... after listening to the dialog that WAS there... maybe the whole movie would have been better off if it'd ALL been silent. :shrug:

Do yourself a favor and skip this. There are plenty of GOOD Lizzie Borden movies out there.

Maybe if they had spent more time worrying about the story line or the script than than did about getting those boxes ticked off... it might have been ok. It's all there... two toned marriages; the little boy looks more like a girl and makes sure to wear the symbol God gave to Noah after the flood; strong, independent women who run their marriages and control the men like puppets; multiple partner intercourse glorification.... Yep. But a story? Why bother? It's got what's important. :eye_roll:

Ok... with that out of the way, let's get to the story itself. Trying not to give anything away... when you are being chased by a monster and you grab the car keys, do you A) run for the car and make a break for it -or- B) put the keys in your pocket; open the front door; and hide inside? Yeah. Me, too. Ok...Ok... forget that. You've got the keys to the car in your hand. You are standing right at the car. The keys are in the door lock. You've turned the key and unlocked the door. Do you A) open the door; get in the car; and drive like your life depends on it (because it does) -or- B) leave the keys in the lock; drop down; crawl under the car; and wait for the monster to come check things out? Yeah. Me, too. The brilliant protagonist, though, doesn't choose option A in either situation.

Do yourself a favor and skip this. I mean.. unless of course you care more about boxes than content.

Not COMPLETELY horrible... boy, that's a ringing endorsement, ain't it? I don't think I ever saw the original, so I don't have anything with which to compare this, so I am reviewing it on it's own merits.

This feels like an 80's movie condensed down to a hour long TV movie. Speaking of the 80's... everything here is in that style - the colors, the clothes, the sets... everything, even the size of the cameras the boys use to surveil the girls - except that they use a modern tablet to access the cameras. :shrug:

The acting is about what you'd expect from a daytime soap opera, but at least it isn't terrible. The plot is (from what I read) the exact same as the original, but it does feel rushed. There's some gratuitous t.and.a and the stereotypical "sorority girl on girl shower scene." There's a bit of humour, especially the imp.

All in all, if you have an hour or so to kill, and you are looking for a movie you can zone out and just watch - no brain cells required... you might enjoy this.