Zack Snyder's Exhausted League.
"Same problems, longer outcomes". I'd say that - years from now - what's going to be remembered, well that would be the exaggerated movement which led to this movie's release rather than the movie itself that is, quite frankly, a bit trashy and ridiculous.
What this "Snyder's Cut" ultimately does is confirming to everybody who happens not to be a fanboy just how deep down Hollywood superhero blockbusters have sunk in the last few years. We went all the way from "The Dark Knight" to "WW84" and this new abomination. But there's something more: this movie is also so long and overblown that it gets boring pretty soon. Pretty, pretty soon. Snyder should maybe learn to "zack zack" (read: cut) more while in the editing room.
Now, the impression I got was that the real - gigantic - problem behind the 2017 theatrical cut wasn't actually (as a lot of those well-known loyal "followers" would like us to believe) the unbalanced combination of lighthearted (and somewhat stale) comedy and comically serious wannabe tragedy, but the very narrative, built upon the so-called "foundations" of a paper-thin script which was - and still remains - so poor that it produces in any case a never-ending string of implausibilities and silly moments that much embarrassing in places that you just have to look the other way not to notice them.
And there really is a whole lot of unintentionally ridiculous moments in this movie, trust me. That's most probably one of the reasons why it looks like we were fed a rough cut rather than a polished and refined movie. A 4-hour-long rough cut with so-to-speak "completed" CGI that got released only because of insistent fans pressure and because in this particular pandemic situation which obviously plagued the movie business Warner Bros. Needed something to stream on their Hbo Max service so as to lure some subscribers in.
So, now we have a movie full of what we can reasonably conceive as scenes that would've been cut for the most part in a normal post-production, 'cause they're useless or - as I already suggested - kinda ridiculous while desperately trying to be serious and profound (but c'mon how can you take that seriously a movie with a man who swims like he was a torpedo and a villain from another universe who looks like a giant shiny ram?). And - by the way - the least we talk about the pretentiousness of using the 4:3 format the better (I even read somebody comparing the B/W version to a Kurosawa movie... Which arouses the question: have you ever actually seen a Kurosawa movie?).
Anyway, thanks to the aforementioned "screenplay" we're doomed to repeatedly hear and watch actors trying to deliver without laughing cringey lines that sends literal shivers down the spine owing to their banality (one example: in a fighting scene Steppen the Ram - sorry, Steppenwolf - says something like "This one will be mine" while on the verge of attacking, and Wonder Woman answers: "I belong to no one"... Now, how would anybody come up with something like that in such a situation? Again: c'mon!).
That's not the end of it: the screenwriters also felt the need while writing to continuously explain every small thing like if this "ZSJL" was one unpredictable whodunit full of plot twists and turns. And not just another trite superhero blockbuster.
So it went that being introduced to the wondrous world of "Magical Intergalactic Boxes", Darkseid who mysteriously appear to belong to the Dark Side (who would've guessed that, huh?), "Silver Rams" in techno-suits who keep on making service calls with the management, "Parademons" (the hell?) that look very much like giant intoxicated flies I really couldn't help it but burst into laughter, and that in spite of the absurd seriousness by which this and other baloney is presented.
On top of that other things to be noticed are:
- The excessive amount of slow-mo sequences;
- The dark and gloomy cinematography thanks to which sometimes you can't see a thing during the action scenes (and to add to the confusion we have the most "curious" editing choices that produce situations in which one movement is repeated between cuts);
- The abominable soundtrack (just look at the Flash-saving-the-girl sequence: sloppy song and - to further the ridiculousness - flying hot dogs... OK...);
- The sometimes badly rendered computer graphic;
- The unconvincing performances (Cavill, Gadot, Affleck and Momoa are most probably the worst on this regard).
In one sentence: blood, noise, CGI and thinly written plots. Here you go: what passes for "great entertainment" nowadays.
In conclusion I only have one more thing to say, to all the fans out there praising this motion picture and wanting the "Snyderverse to be restored" and so on: "ZSJL" is not by any chance a masterpiece (it's amazing that I really need to point it out) and you giving 10-starred reviews here on Imdb is not going to change that.
This movie is not going to be remembered and it's most certainly not going to be regarded as one of the greatest entertainment blockbusters of all time. Go take another look at "The Dark Knight" and then you'll hopefully finally realize that, while also realizing at the same time how in fact an outstanding entertainment movie is made even while having to deal with majors, marketing and big money and pressure.
Oh, boy. Let's really hope we're done for good with the Snyderverse this time.