tsarbomb

Neeyat is mostly an OK movie, with plot events that feel familiar, revelations that just drop out of the blue and characters that behave like no real person actually would. It's the kind of movie that would make one wonder at the end.. "when you put it like that, it sounds like we were all high or something".

Begin plot: So Aashish Kapoor, an Indian millionaire, invites a special group of friends and relatives to a huge castle in Scotland for his birthday party (sound familiar?). He had been accused of loan fraud and of not paying his employees, resulting in a few of them committing suicide so fearing for the law, he'd been living a runaway life in Scotland (also sound familiar?).

Intending to surrender to the Indian authorities after a night of fun with people he trusts, he also invites Mira Rao, a CBI officer, so she can oversee proceedings and extradite him. The only other person in the castle is the event manager.

The party does not go as planned and after an outburst in which Ashish screams at his friends and calls them leaches, he is found to have jumped off a cliff to his death and carried away by the sea. Mira deducts that he must have been pushed off the cliff and begins investigating the murder. During the course of her investigation, she deduces that each of Ashish's guests had a reason to kill him.

Then it is revealed that the event manager is actually a journalist and was there to expose Ashish's secrets. In an attempt to do this, he gets killed by apparently stumbling onto a rock or something. Then the best friend dies after it is revealed that he killed the event manager and stealing the secrets from him that he had stolen from Ashish. And finally everyone in the house agrees that there is a killer in their midst and seek help from Mira.

Then it is revealed that it was all Ashish and his sisters (Zoya the astrologer) plan all along. Ashish had faked his death in front of the entire group so that he could actually escape to a different land and live a new life free from the persecution of Indian authorities. Then he gets killed by actually falling off a cliff, and Mira leaves. Then it's revealed that Mira was not actually Mira but an impostor who happened to be the girlfriend of one of the suicide victims and she had plotted the downfall of Ashish as revenge for her girlfriend's suicide.

End plot

Yep that was bad so where do we start?

The only good thing about this movie has to be that it doesn't feel overly bloated despite the unnecessarily long introduction sequence. As laughable as most events in the movie are, they just pass by fairly quickly so you don't really feel the drag. The location is good too. I guess music counts. Performances are decent but you'd really expect more from a cast as stellar as this.

Now I'd normally be ok with Vidya Balan as any character. She is super talented and can pull off any role effortlessly. But it feels wrong here. The makers have tried to give her character a Sherlock Holmes-ish flavour. She is slightly eccentric, mostly non social, and knows everything there is to be known - from advanced chemistry to social behaviour-ology(is that a thing?), network cracking, and what not. But at the end of the movie you're left wondering "wait a minute.. what!??how??" How is a cyber employee (ok I can give her the cracking skill) a chemist, psychologist, detective all at the same time? And how does she happen to have a gun? If she's supposed to be a mysterious character who just vanishes, where'd the gun come from?

The part where Mira gets unconscious and just happens to overhear the siblings is ridiculous. Why would two villains discuss their evil plan in front of someone? Sleeping or not? Just imagine the entire plot reveal at the end if the eavesdropping part never happened.

Miras entry into the movie is just as questionable. If there's a storm raging outside, and the bridges are all closed so that the Scotland Yard is prevented from reaching the castle, how does Mira reach it? Why does no one ask this question? Why is no one even remotely suspicious of her?? Also how does Ashish not know that Mira is actually supposed to arrive the following day? And what was his escape plan? How long was he going to stay in that secret place? Why did he think that the police would not find it if his secretary could? Damn so many questions. I guess it was just not thought through enough.

And then the final plot twist is just the writers not being sure how to finish things off and actually convince people that everything that just happened was legitimate. So how did an absolute outsider happen to know that there was a party going on? How did she know that Gigi was also a journalist and probably related to Tanmay? And how did she know about Mira Roy? And how did she know all the secrets she could milk from the people? And how did she know the guest list? The answer: She hacked into everyone's computers. Ok but how did she get access to their computer networks?? That's not how hacking actually works, you know. This would have made a lot more sense if this entire revenge angle was avoided and Mira was actually just a CBI officer.

There's probably a lot more to say but well.. it's mostly all forgettable fluff so I've just... forgotten.

Neeyat is timepass. It's an OK movie that you could probably watch and not think about it too much and end up believing it's an amazing movie. In truth it just about works for a brainless watch.

So Satya, a beggar looking for his lost sister, gets the opportunity to live the life of a billionaire when the people close to the billionaire transfer his life and memories into the body of the billionaire in return for a simple enough demand - be the face for the billionaire's company so the plotters can get rich. What happens when the two parties get into a conflict, and will Satya eventually find his sister?

The plot for the movie is simple enough and it employs an oft used concept - the conflict between living a rich but controlled life and living a poor but free one. The stakes in this case are the knowledge of a crime committed by the evil party and the search for a long lost loved one. With Satya unable to reveal the crime given how silly explaining things would be, and being unable to search for his sister given his new billionaire image, the simplistic plot setup is fairly convincing. But the payoffs feel forced. What happens once Satya and the plotters get into conflict for instance, ruins the entire movie. He just kills them all

Still, the movie manages to bring up interesting concepts post this as Satya forces himself to live the life of a billionaire. If you think about it, it is a neat little concept. Pichaikaran 1 made the protagonist live the life of a beggar, and the roles are reversed in the second part. The problem is, not many would relate to a conflict like this. With the plotters out of the way, Satya could simply live life on his own terms. The past few days could simply have counted for a swift change in fortunes and he could now have lived the life of a multi billionaire. And it's here that he movie gets fantastical and loses its real world connect. And it's also here that the script writers unleash a whole political economical disaster that is laughable and utterly absurd. Satya launches a program called anti bikili- what's with the name? Duh nothing. Just needed a catchphrase is all. They now get subsidised food, groceries, homes and everything, and there is a strong demand from that all billionaires should do something similar. The entire concept of a free market is thrown under a bus. How will this be sustained for instance? Resources after all, are limited. Product prices at the end of the day are majorly determined by the free market in modern times. Supply shortage at the end of the day, will drive prices up. Duh this is what happens when you try to get too smart but don't really understand what you're doing.

As with all mainstream Tamil movies, keep your brains in the car or in the fridge before you turn this one on. A beggar who's been in jail, probably never fired a bullet before, can accurately shoot a moving target hundreds of meters away in the beach with the wind blowing in his face. And oh he can drive a motorboat. And he's an economist. And he knows the law. And he can bash up 50 thugs at a time. WHATTT?! The moral compass of the movie is... mob rule is legitimate rule. If the people like it, it should be encouraged. Just think about the problems this could create in a functional society

Pichaikaran 1 was an interesting watch because it contained a unique setup, an interesting concept never seen before that the audience could relate with. The difficulty that a millionaire would have in living the life of a beggar was well captured and superbly executed so despite its flaws, it was thoroughly entertaining fare. Pichaikaran 2 wildly meanders between reason and fantasy, is unfocused and barely believable. It tries to be too many things all at once and ends up being neither.

So Prakash is an academically brilliant cop fresh out of the academy, but, having had zero field experience, he gets scared too easily. What happens when he gets paired with a veteran, no-nonsense cop to a high profile serial killer case??

Por thozhil is brilliant. It follows two cops on an operation to capture a serial killer. It is less of an investigative thriller, which is still a well made portion of the flick, and more a story of two men - both vastly different and contrasted, but forced to play mentor-mentee. It is a story about how they DONT overcome their differences and DONT end up agreeing with each other, how they stick to their respective life choices and views while still working together efficiently enough to take down a dreaded serial killer.

The characterisation is superb. Pradeep is the academic bookworm who dreams of making it big as a police officer. He is scared and timid and messes things up in the beginning. He cannot look at dead bodies without puking and he makes unnecessary comments that have no place in a conversation with a respected senior. By the end of the movie, he still gets scared but can overcome it. He learns to use his skills to his advantage and makes mature decisions and observations that impress his senior. Loganathan is a veteran but arrogant cop who no one can stand. Not even his seniors. He believes he is better off working alone and chides his junior Pradeep for being too academic. By the end of the movie he is still arrogant and cannot be stood by anyone, even doctors. But he is completely willing to work with his junior, an opportunity that Pradeep accepts immediately. It is in a way, a coming together of a perfectly mismatched couple and is a treat to watch.

Another great thing about Por Thozhil is the setups. There are so many of them. And they all have satisfactory payoffs too. Consider the conversation our heroes have in a car while in a stakeout. Loganathan tells Pradeep that it is not fear that makes someone a coward. It is running away from a situation due to fear that makes someone a coward. The payoff for this is fantastic. It happens all the way at the end and look out for this, it is a hoot worthy moment if there ever was one. Another example is the constant theme of abuse that keeps running throughout the movie. Our heroes disagree over whether abused people tend to become criminals and whether the knowledge that someone is abused should be cause for pity. Prakash does think so but when push comes to shove, he puts three extra rounds into the bad guy despite having killed him with a single shot. It's moments like these that make movies interesting and unfortunately, most modern movies don't have them

Finally, the movie doesn't shove anything down the audiences throats. Just like the question of pity for the abused criminal, other topics such as the significance of academics and experience are brought up and the two characters disagree. But that's it. There's no one winner to the argument. The both get their moments and the audience is left to decide which is better. Please moviemakers, take notes.

You know a movie is good when everything it tries comes off. The laughs come off, the thrilling sequences are actually thrilling and the payoffs are supremely satisfying. With Por Thozhil, you know that it is a well made movie when you start clapping by the time the end credits start rolling. This is probably the first movie I've rated 10 and may be the only one for a long time yet.

So Maamannan is a lower caste party worker who is led to believe that working with political parties and their higher caste leaders can one day effect change. His son Athiveeran is a martial arts (Adimurai) instructor who believes the opposite and that his father is in the wrong so he doesn't speak to him. What happens when an incident forces the two of them to speak terms with an arrogant but influential higher caste politician (Rathnavel) and what happens when things flare up between the two parties?

The problems with this movie are plenty. You get a lot of emotionally heavy setups in the first half. The well scene, the pig scene, the sword and the gun... but none of these get satisfactory payoffs. They win an election. That's all. The pig scene gets a painting as a payoff and they wave guns at each other's faces is all. All the emotion in the setup just gets wasted. The politics in this movie is just sh**. You never get an indication that people are fighting for equality. They're fighting. That's all. For what? God, no one knows. Maamannan changes. He understands he was wrong to look to compromise and that he needed to demand respect. That's all that's appreciable, politically. Otherwise there's a whole load of nonsense. Leela is a communist, you know the Marx-Guevara type. You know this from the subtle messaging in the t shirts she wears. All this while reaping the benefits of capitalistic endeavours - expensive watch, makeup, readymade printed shirts, scooter... lol.

Now, being a modern movie based on caste politics, it would be useless to expect anything that is not a socialist, feminist pandering project, and Maamannan is no trend breaker. Every character is one dimensional, there's no attempt to portray conflict within a character. There's no attempt to present an opposing perspective that might have made the movie an interesting watch. All the good characters are communist feminists and the villains are... yes, of a certain type.

If you think about it, it is a real shame the movie is this bad. It's Vadivelus first big movie after a long time. Fahaad fassil as usual, is fantastic. He is focused, powerful and portrays a composed, calculating and cold character and is great to watch. The soundtrack is simply brilliant. AR Rahman is a freak! What an album. Utchanthala in particular is a beautiful piece. There are some stunning shots of Maamannan and Veeran standing on a cliff to chants of "Manna Maamanna". But all of these are wasted. Vadivelu looks bored. A movie about Maamannan, named Maamannan, has very little to say about Maamannan. Fahaadh, for his brilliant performance, is an entirely single dimensional character. He's evil for no real reason. The songs are all terribly placed. They simply make no sense where they are. They're all curtailed and placed somewhere because the makers have songs. Udhayanidhi fights all the time and Keerthi and others simply try to stop him.

There's no real depth to characters or moments even. No one behaves like they would do in real life.

In all, Maamannan is utterly forgettable and most certainly not hard hitting. If only Vadivelu had a good script...

So very bad guy does very bad things. Good guy happens to get an opportunity to punish the bad guy by beating him up badly. Now mad with fury, bad guy wants revenge. Unable to kill good guy directly, he sniffs an opportunity by holding hostage his girlfriend.... Wait that's "Ivan Vera Mathiri". It's the son here...

Laththi is an enjoyable watch with an impressive performance from Vishal, a minimal storyline held together by well shot, mostly over-the-top and fantastical sequences, obviously unrealistic action, and a rather unique tip-of-the-hat to laththi-wielding police constables. There are flaws surely, but in the end, it is quality entertainment that leaves one satisfied, if that's all one is expecting.

Begin plot: Muruganandham (Mn hereafter) is a suspended police constable, living an ordinary life with his wife Kavi and a son Rasu. He constantly seeks ways to get his suspension revoked, often meeting higher officials in public and attempting to get in their good books. All members of his family share a strong desire to see him back as a policeman. When a senior officer from Mn's past turns up at the hospital where Kavi works, he agrees to recommend Mn to the DIG, and Mn gets his job back due to the DIGs influence.

The DIG suffers personal humiliation at the hands of a certain Vellai, who happens to be the son of Sura, a dreaded thug. To avenge this humiliation, a day before departing to Australia, he kidnaps Vellai, puts a bag on his face, and coerces Mn into beating him up. Unbeknownst to Mn, the DIG captures the act while obscuring Mn's face, and puts the video up on social media as well. Enraged, Vellai seeks revenge, first from the policeman who beat him up.

So turns out, the bag put on Vellai's face had a hole in it through which Vellai could vaguely see his assaulter. So he remains adamant upon not removing the bag until he finds out who is responsible. Upon figuring out Mn's identity, they follow him to a desolate building where he is with his son, seeking to kill him.

Now the question: Will Mn survive or will Vellai have his revenge?

The answer: **Spoilers from here** A question put like that, in this context, can only have one answer. Of course Mn kills everyone and Vellai's revenge is unfulfilled. So turns out if was Mn's plan all along and it was he who led the gang to the building. He had been setting it up for a while, stealing weaponry from the police station and setting up traps in the building for an assault the scale of which he would need to survive Vellai's hunchmen. Rasu was never supposed to be there but events just pan out that way. He realized that sooner or later, Vellai would figure the truth out, and in order to save his family, he had to do something like that.

End plot.

So the movie has obvious flaws. Vishal is superman. He is SERIOUSLY WOUNDED. An eye needing sutures, but obviously he fights. However, the fights are not all Jackie Chan-ish or typical mass masala movie-like. You can still see the pain and the struggle so kudos to the team for that. The villain just keeps screaming, to the point where it gets laughable at times. That bag thing is surely laughable. It's obvious the director wanted to give the character some flavor, but this is not it. The songs are pretty meh, and the emotional sequences might feel like a drag at times.

Now with that out of the way, lets get to the good parts. Vishal. Well done. He looks the part. Irumbuthirai and Chakra had him looking in shape as a soldier, but in Laththi he certainly looks like the constable he is portraying. Somewhat rounded, down-to-earth, even his gait is different in this movie. The way he runs, too. Nice performance.

Now you'd expect a twist of the variety the movie has in store sometime or the other, but it still hits pretty hard. It is well placed, and well enacted.

The action sequences are well executed. The traps, the lighting, and the stunts, while definitely over-the-top, are still pretty entertaining to watch. I mean, who doesn't like to watch stuff getting blown up and an absolute underdog bash top thugs?

The BGM is pretty cool. Yeah the songs are boring, but the Laththi BGM, which plays maybe 3-4 times in the movie, is goosebump-ish. That intro shot of Vishal running out the truck, swinging a laththi to that BGM is pretty cool

That sequence where Mn has Sura at his mercy for his sons medicine, is also well executed. It is somewhat unexpected, and kudos to the execution

To conclude, Laththi is watchable as an entertainer. Do not expect an arthouse movie or a deeply provoking, intellectual, realistic piece of art. It is meant to entertain, and that it certainly does.

So I am not a big fan of the first HIT movie. I guess the second installment would also fall into the same bracket. HIT-2 starts well but loses itself midway. It eventually turns out to be a mediocre, run-of-the-mill serial killer movie.

KD is a cop who thinks criminals are bird-brained. He has sharp observational skills, and is witty and fearless. A serial killer strikes in town, hunting women and dismembering their bodies. When things get personal, can KD figure out the identity of the killer and protect himself and his loved ones?

At its core, HIT-2 is a crime thriller with investigative elements. A cat-and-mouse between the antagonist who knows the protagonist and the protagonist who doesn't know the antagonist. But there's very little the killer does in the way of hindering KDs investigation except drop photographs of women he is going to kill but never ends up killing. The investigative aspects are rote and convenient to the plot. There is then the unexplored ego clash between Varsha and KD. It never goes past the first few minutes into the investigation. There are no clever clues or linking of events to form a neat revelation, and there are no pulse-pounding sequences. In this chase, the mouse (the killer) dangles the carrot. The cat simply follows it.

There was genuine scope for this to have been a top notch serial killer movie. The gruesome murders, a clever killer hiding in plain sight. Unfortunately, the only thrilling sequence in the movie happens in the very end, but by then you already know the cat HAS to win. I mean, its' a HIT movie, and it has Adivi Sesh in it.

Adivi Sesh is fairly convincing as a witty cop, but not as a macho witty cop (He could have put his top buttons on). Meenakshi Choudhury does well as the lover, both the sidekicks are convincing enough. Suhas does well as the villain, but it becomes pretty obvious since he only appears in the movie for about 10-12 minutes before the climax sequence, and there is no other suspect either. So either an entirely new character is introduced at the very end or Suhas is revealed as the villain. Well...

To sum up, the opening sequence is well made and conveys the pain of the man well. The characters are established quickly enough and internal issues are made evident. Then the body is found and the initial investigation is well documented. Then the slide begins. The good thing though, is it is still pretty quick in pace and doesn't feel bloated.

Works well enough for a one time watch after a heavy meal!

Parris Jayaraj is a gaana singer (hence the gaana songs), whose love failures drive him to drink. His father is a successful divorce attorney harboring a neat little secret. Naturally, Parris falls in love with a girl. Will he get his happy ending, or does his fathers habit of separation get in the way?

As suggested by the title (Parris for Harris), the movie has quite a few manufactured laughs from rhymed words and direct references that can be fun, if you are watching on a lazy evening just for the sake of it. Then there are the brainless scenarios that may be lazily written and cliche, but do come off as legitimately funny. As with every comedy flick, the climax sequence is intentionally chaotic, and it works, to an extent.

Santhanam does fairly well as a singer-dancer-comedian. He might have to work a bit on his fight scenes, but there is just one in this movie, so it is not much of an issue. Anaika Soti does okay for her role. But the cake surely goes to Prudhviraj as Prakash Raj. He is convincing in his role and essays it to near perfection.

There is nothing much to say about Parris Jayaraj. It is a movie that just about works, if you are interested in brainless, old, cliched laughs. Perfect for a lazy Saturday evening.

So Agent Sai Srinivasa Athreya was a polished movie with a smart plot, interesting characters, comedic undertones, and neat execution. The events in the movie led neatly to each other, and the unraveling of the narrative was quick and effortless.

Agent Kannayiram is for all purposes, a remake of ASSA, with boring characters, a non-existing comedic undertone, bloated execution, and a confusing plot. Some events from the original have been given much more consideration than they deserve, and the narrative does not need any unraveling as a major part of it is made very obvious at the very beginning.

My biggest gripe with AK is the first 20 minutes or so where the mother is given a backstory. That, and the constant reminders about how the son blames himself for the mothers death.

Some characters have been changed to differentiate the movie from the original, so the female lead is not an apprentice but a reporter, Bobby the useful detective who had a legitimate reason for being in the plot is replaced by Maayavi the useless, non-important apprentice (yeah why they did that, I do not know) who has no reason for being in the plot. The villain is not a smart criminology graduate but a ... well, don't want to go SPOILING THAT now, do we? It's fine to make changes to the original script, but ONLY if it adds value to the plot. In this case, however... Unlike ASSA, which had an explanation for everything, AK leaves many loose ends. How does the policeman not even know the name of someone he put in jail, for instance?

So while ASSAs narrative was about the crime, AK is about the lonely deaths. The crime takes a backseat.

The movie definitely leaves one with a lot of 'if onlys' and 'why this's', the greatest of all being "Why is a movie that is a remake of a comedy-mystery a wannabe mystery thriller, if it stars Santhanam?" Truth be told, after watching AK, I watched ASSA again, this time inserting Santhanam into the role of ASSA. I could see no reason why an exact remake would not have been successful. If anything, it could have been better. It was easy to imagine Santhanam as the coat-wearing, empty mug sipping, one-liner delivering, eccentric detective that was ASSA. It was a pain to watch Santhanam as the evil-guy-fighting, serious dialogue delivering, confused detective that is AK. This is not to mean that Santhanam cannot do serious roles. His performance here is surely commendable. He gives it his all in every shot. The writing and execution, however, fail him.

Sometimes, just sometimes, movies are so bad that you're left wondering if the makers took their audience seriously or if they just had a whole lot of money to spare and couldn't find a better way to spend it than to make the junk you just watched. Nishabdham falls sqaurely into that category.

The movie starts with a man and his wife getting brutally killed by some assumed supernatural entity in their suspiciously remote villa, which goes on to see multiple other brutal murders in the following years. One fine day, musician Anthony and his dumb-deaf wife Sakshi go to the villa so she can replicate a painting that is in it. Anthony gets killed inside (of course he does) while Sakshi barely escapes (of course she does). Then of course the police get into the action and are as useless as a potato in meat biriyani. Then a whole bunch of non-memorable flashback sequences of Anthony and Sakshi's wedding follow and then there's a .... huh .. must have forgotten. Oh yeah, it is revealed that the police captain, Richard is somehow responsible. The super intelligent, smart, sensible (I'm not even kidding, she says this herself) Maha figures this out a minute after the reveal and now it is upto her to solve the mystery. Then there is another long, forgettable flashback sequence showing the camaraderie between Sakshi and Sonali (yeah, her friend who is super possessive of her) and a guy (Vivek I think) and why Anthony and Richard were bad guys and why Sakshi and Vivek killed him (you didn't figure that out already?). And oh, then there's the climax sequence where Richard kidnaps Vivek after magically having learned that he and Sakshi killed Anthony and draws Sakshi to the forest and then spends 15 mins telling her he's going to kill her without actually doing it (I mean, he has a frickin gun and a baseball bat in his hand, yet all he does is gently kick her so she rolls in the mud. Isn't that cute?), and hurray! In comes the strong female character that is Maha, who just happens to know that Sakshi and Vivek have been kidnapped, and yet is late, and kills Richard. And alls well that ends well.

If that plot summary was bad, wait till curiosity gets the better of you and you end up watching this piece of garbage.

Yeah, so where do we start. The plot is wafer-thin. Not a soul had escaped the villa since the day the murders started, so how the FALAFEL did a deaf-mute girl who's shown no sign of strength, manage to escape AFTER being attacked by what's supposedly supernatural? And of course the police believe it. About the police.. yeah they've got to be the most incompetent cops in the history of police force. I mean, well, you're suspecting Sonali, why would you not even consider Vivek, who frigging spends all his time with Sakshi? And oh, how do they get around to suspecting Sonali? Because Maha's kid (or some kid in her home) demonstrates possessiveness over her and her psychiatrist relative (dont care who she is), who just happens to be there, brings the topic up. Yep. Mother of coincidences, no?

The other thing about this movie is that it is MANIPULATIVE AF. 2 mins of screentime and you can already guess who the good guys are and who the bad guys are. Richard is a loudmouth, who doesn't care to know the ASL, while Maha is the calm and compassionate female. Anthony is the rich guy the girls wants to see while Vivek is the single bloke who is kind to Sakshi. Now, I wonder who the bad guys could be out of these... There is no thrilling element in any of the scenes. Why would there be? You couldn't give a damn about any of the characters, so you wouldn't fear for them. Ah, about characters, which broken brain decided to cast Anjali as a cop? Her body language is ridiculous, her acting is plastic (surprise surprise) and her dialogues are crap. That introduction shot of her running is laughable as is the chase scene at Sakshi's house. Just consider her attire in that scene, while she is still on duty, chasing a suspect. Oh btw, ALL dialogues in this movie are stupid. No sane person would utter the kind of dialogues the characters here speak. Logic goes for a toss as well. There don't seem to be any cops in town other than Maha and Richard and Tom, and if they are, they are NPCs. Maha does not speak to them or seek their assistance when on the pursuit of a dangerous criminal. Anthony has a camera perfectly positioned to prove his crimes. And what the hell was that about giving a wiped hard disk to the police as evidence? That got me LMAO, truly.

So if you managed to go through all of that jumbled mess above this, you might just as well scrape through the 2hr borefest that Nishabdham is. Though, honestly, I can't really find a reason why anyone should watch it. It simply doesn't work. Not as a campy horror-mystery, and most definitely not as a serious murder-mystery-thriller. If you want 2 hrs of timepass, you'd much rather watch a blank screen than this.

So what are the 2 stars for, you ask? The intro though campy, had me interested. Then the movie fell down the grand fluffing canyon.