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Reviews

The Last of Us: Long, Long Time
(2023)
Episode 3, Season 1

An ode to a life of love.
This show is staying true to the very essence of what made the game great. The whole story of The Last of Us revoles around love. It was and, I'm glad to say, still is a major component that drove gamers and viewers alike to invest themselves into the story.

Unlike the chapter in the game, it is light on corycept carnage. But in this case, that was the very best decision. This was one of the most moving pieces of television I have watched in a very, VERY long time. The characterisations of Bill and Frank have been given a different direction than they did in the game, and in doing so examined who they were, and what they meant to eachother.

I cannot stress this enough, please don't just watch this episode, allow yourself to feel it.

Wrong Turn VI
(2014)

Wrong turn, wrong movie
Let's face it - it just isn't good. It's a passable improvement over the previous two instalments, but that's it.

It actually had an ok premise, but the execution and the pay-off were absolutly redundant. It was filmed like an honest feature, but I have to say, the whole thing felt weirdly pornographic. Like one half of the crew wanted to make a decent picture, the other half shot smut.

The saving grace when it gets going, the brutality and violence is actually fun and well placed. And what shocked me, I actually found myself liking a couple of the supporting characters. To the point that I didn't want them to die.

But sides from that, this film is trash, bottom line.

The Last of Us: Infected
(2023)
Episode 2, Season 1

Perfection!
This episode is TV at its very best. First thing on the list, it gave further contextual set up to world and the infected themselves. The infected are slightly altered from the game. They have abilities and behaviours that are new to those familiar with the games. The life cycle of the corycepts fungus has been elaborated on much further as well.

But better yet, the characters have been given time to grow. Their situation has taken a back seat to their relationships with one another. That is giving this show the real reason to keep watching, as was once the reason we kept playing. Honestly I can't get over how good this is turning out to be and I am very excited to see what's coming.

The Last of Us: When You're Lost in the Darkness
(2023)
Episode 1, Season 1

Brilliant!
This first episode has been a gem from start to finish. It took me a while to separate this show from it game counterpart.

But it has proven to be very good at adapting the scorce material whilst introducing new and frighteningly ominous concepts to the storyline. The love for the story shines in every scene, and expansion of the story is to serve a purpose to the core narrative.

The characterisations are very well considered, and it is a pleasure to see. Bella Ramsey, Pedro Pascal and Anna Torv have done amazing work bringing these characters to life here.

It reminded me a lot, not of any recent zombie shows. But more of the unknown threats of Invasion of the Body Snatchers. I think it's fair to say this is a must watch.

I Spit on Your Grave: Deja Vu
(2019)

One spit per minute!
I am in the minority of people that not only likes but respects the original film for it assertive depiction of two of the worst crimes one human can can perpetrate on another.

I, like this films director have found myself in the position of having to help a victim of rape after the fact. It was every bit of horrifying and grotesque as that film depicts and worse. So I had a massive amount of respect that the film never shielded it's audience. It bombarded them with the images you expect to see as if it was happening in front of you.

This film on the otherhand is a display of utter nonsense. Yes, there is rape, yes there is revenge. But everything else, the way this film handled its subject matter, the story it told. None of it made sense. The original was simplistic, precise and straight to the point. This sequal was over stuffed with just...stuff...2 hours worth of stuff with a rape and one strangely almost perfect spaghetti western scene thrown in. It was as if the movie ventured into the comedic territory of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2. For the this film is an insult and a sad downfall of what might have been a once very promising director.

Jeepers Creepers: Reborn
(2022)

Jeepers sleepers!
What is this movie? Seriously...what is this movie? Has the ability to make good movies been lost through the generational processes of man where we have lost the ability to make even a kind-of okay movie? JC3 was bad enough, but now we have Reborn.

The most offensively bad movie to be made for at least 3 years. There is not a single line delivered in this movie done right, the writing itself was terrifyingly bad. The make up was painful, the kills were trash. And let's talk CGI, in what way would we have needed to waste money on CG environments. There's real locations out there, but we used CG...why?

In a single word "don't"....just don't, it isn't worth it, not even for a laugh.

Orphan: First Kill
(2022)

It's pure Child's play!
And I think that might be the best thing about this movie. I'm personally a fan of the original Orphan, it was a very well made little nightmare. And I'm happy to say this prequel was a fairly good attempt at following it up.

It turned out to be a surprisingly fun, humorous and bloody film. Which is a hell of a lot more than it could have been. And the twist this time around was well considered and playfully executed.

All in all I do think that this film should be given the light of day. Even if it isn't great, you'll have some good fun with it. As clearly the makers of this film had themselves a great time making it in turn.

Annabelle: Creation
(2017)

Creating a good prequel!
This is a MASSIVE improvement over the first Annabelle installment. Honestly, I feel it's a dis-service to this film to have Annabelle as a sequel.

The characters are endearing, likable and best of all able to make you want better for them. Better is not what they get however as they are haunted and in some cases brutalised by a malignant entity within a children's toy.

I have to say, I went in fully e pecting to be belligerently sarcastic about this film. However, I can't, I can't because the film itself was half decent. There were a few eye rolls from me with the Jumps. But over all, I wasn't there for that, and it satisfied me to see that it had more than jumps going for it.

The Nun
(2018)

About as old as the time period...
I'm sorry to anyone who actually likes this movie. But honestly the 1 star is actually a -10. I'm of the firm opinion that this is as pathetic and generic as reheated oatmeal.

There is not a single second of this film that was even remotely engaging. The characters, let's start with them shall we? They are unfathomably generic. Its as if they've thrown ideas for characters rejected from other scripts for being generally pointless. Put them in a hat, shook it and asked Gary Dauberman to reach in only to come up with the aptly named Father Burke, Sister Irene and f*^cking Frenchie.

Now let's turn our attention to the story. Let's analyse this for a moment. I know it's baffling and confusing. But lets examine it. No story, no bigger meaning, no commentary on the human condition, nothing. However, we have a setting, we have a series of jump sequences, we have mountains of exposition and we have an antagonist that does...very little exept kill in what I assume is a game of connect 4 between Valek and God himself. "I take this one, I save this one, BOOOO you won again, no fair". And thus we have a film.

This is what they came up with? Let's face it, a ten year old has more imagination. The horrors of elementary school are more haunting.

Srpski film
(2010)

I know what you're thinking!
Why in the hell would anyone rate this film as high as I have?

Well here is my justification. If the quality of this film was matched by the subject matter, it would be in the gutter.

However, what I found myself being continuously surprised by was the artistic and nuanced way in which the film composed itself. Every rape, every vile example of human degradation wasn't enough to prevent me from engaging with the story at its heart. It's justification comes from the real world. Yukoslavic wars are very rarely observed for the sheer brutality. But there were many elements in this film that pointed to continued trauma and suffering. I could not help but draw the comparisons.

As such, I rate this highly not because I enjoyed it. But because, ultimately it is a very, VERY well made film. And there is more to it than what is given credit.

The Zookeeper's Wife
(2017)

Told by way of grace, or told by way of sanitation?
This film poses a bit of a dilemma for me, on the one hand I love the elegant nature of the film. The care and compassion it shows. But on the other I did feel it lacked an adequate depiction of the visceral and brutal nature of the holocaust.

Some may argue that it isn't nessasary to show such things. But I would contest that view. The holocaust is one of the most bleak and horrific periods in human history. And there is a lot happening in that world that simply wasn't put into perspective to allow us to question. Schindler's List and The Pianist both portrayed the gradual deterioration of the Jewish existence under Nazi occupation. This film had the potential to explore the other side of the coin. How the public degradation of the Jew affected non-jewish citizens, if it had any affect at all. Why inaction was more preferable than to do the right thing. There were questions about morality that could have been explored in much greater depth. But were pushed aside to a detriment.

Ultimately, I came out of this film feeling I had really only observed a portrait of a single woman whose compassion, over rode her own needs to help others. And thankfully it succeeded in creating that portrait. It is an increadably compassionate film with an enormous amount of love and respect.

It is a good film, but sadly it needed much more to be truely great.

The Survivor
(2021)

A magical film!!!
Ben Foster has always been among the top 5 underrated actors of his time and this is a perfect example of why.

This very easily could have fallen into any number of conventions in and around the boxing for love stories out there. But this film was much more than that just on the thematic level alone. It brought out a great deal of care for the subject matter and the characters in this case, real characters who suffered immensely through one of the worst periods in human history.

And one of the shining parts of this film was the performance of the lead; Ben Foster. He gave a ruthlessly raw performance in this movie, and quite frankly was compleatly unrecognisable to me for most of this film. Really it's films like this that keep me awake and thinking. Which is exactly what a film like this should do.

Halloween Ends
(2022)

It put an END to the KILLS!
I honestly went into this expecting to hate this movie. I was not a fan of KILLS the second instalment of David Gordon Greens trilogy, in fact I lumped that movie in there with Resurections and H6 as being among the worst in the series. I still do. However this film, showed a lot more promise.

It isn't however a standard Halloween film. There are certain carpenter mythologies that were put to very good use. I won't spoil too much but, it takes the PURE EVIL concept, and gives it a new demention which was actually very cool to see. It was very much in line with John Carpenter's other works.

Now, I feel it is important to mention. These mythologies were introduced in Halloween 2018, when Dr loomis' replacement went on a murder spree, which baffled me. Having seen this film, it makes a lot more sense. It was something that should have been present in all three films in a more precise manner. But I have a feeling it wasn't fully realised back then. Which is a shame.

That however is my only gripe. Everything else was very good, character development was solid. The kills where brutal and Jaime Lee Curtis gave a performance that flattens the previous two films. Where I think I enjoyed it for its pace, it may be too slow for some as it does tell a new story and introduces new characters.

All in all, I think a third is a charm here.

The Walking Dead: A New Deal
(2022)
Episode 18, Season 11

I'm sorry...what?
Ok, every single member of the crew of this episode at all phases of production need to go back and observe the very first episode of this show.

That was greatness, this, was scraping the sides of a bad made for TV movie from the 90s. The cinematography was trash (overexposed to the degree of a student short), the set designs were worse and worse yet is the story itself. The zombies are no longer the threat, they are the hero's sent to save us from the abizmality of not only the story. But the very work of the film makers behind the camera. And this is how they are ending this show? Is this the lows we've slumped to?

Ghoul
(2018)

Ghoul-ishly good
I am honestly surprised I enjoyed this as much as I did. The duration of all three episodes kept me compleatly engaged. It could have very easily slipped into the macho shoot em up category of horror films. However, it remained focused on the characters who were all decidedly either timid or ignorant to the horrors coming their way. They all had their own motives, guilts and backgrounds which were all interwoven into the story with stern efficiency.

As such it wasn't a mindless gorefest although there is plenty of blood and gore to go around. My only grievance with this show was that it wasn't very effective at illustrating just what the Ghoul is until the last 20 minutes. But that's a small error with the whole.

All in all, I think there is something for everyone. A legitimately good story, solid creeps of the Hereditary type and lots and LOTS of gore.

Men
(2022)

Hyperintellergent horror - a new breed!
This is a difficult film to review, because it is a film designed to effect different viewers in different ways. It is made to emote something within the individual viewer that is unique to them specifically.

In a lot of ways it is a film that has been made to allow the audience to experience it in the same way we would experience a work of art held at a museum. Some may not take away anything away at all.

For me, I took alot away from this film. It hit me on a very deep phycological level.

In this way it is much like the works of Lars Von trier. But unlike his work, it is far more digestible to a mass audience. You could say it's even commercial in that way. However it never insults our intelligence.

But make no mistake, it is a horror film. A very effective one at that. But I do think people need to go into this film with the appoach of being compleatly absorbed into the film as opposed to just going in for a good fright. I have to be honest I am proud this film came from the UK. I'm happy it is as good as it is. I'm exited to see what else spurs from the mind of Alex Garland.

The Most Hated Man on the Internet
(2022)

Slightly sensationalised, but very watchable...and very gruelling!
A deepdive into the very worst in us all. That is what this show showcases. The VERY worst.

All in the name of fun in the Wold West days of the internet some 350,000 users signed onto isanyoneup daily. That is 350,000 everyday people exploiting the humiliation of others, some of which actively participating.

This is the focus of this docuseries. And it does a very good job of disecting the "revenge porn" social phenomena. And it is unflinching. It also looks into the social underpinnings of what made the site what it was. And I can't help put admire the depths this show goes to look at the attitude and the results of this period of time where anything could be done without consequence.

I recommend this show...just don't go watching it with the parents.

The Black Phone
(2021)

The promise not delivered.
Oh this had such a good set-up. Sadly it just doesn't have the depth needed. It spent the first 20 minutes diving into all the nuances that would ultimately tie the story together. Problem with that was that it would up being very VERY contrived, because the pinnacle is a very complicated thing.

With that being said, I found a lot to like here, and even though I've given this a low rating, I still think it's worth the watch, just don't expect a new classic of the genre.

Candyman: Farewell to the Flesh
(1995)

Farewell to the sequel!
This film has always been something of an oddity on the sequel agenda. A lot of people often consider this film originator as a strangly racist film.

I would call that into question. Director Bernard Rose did two things with the first film. He chose to examine the cruelty exacted towards the African American population. Through a woman who was only curious as to why urban legends take hold in communities that are in the grip of poverty and violence. He did this in a way no American director would have. By filming in a place that was well known to be the antithesis of the consequences to modern day segregation -Cabrini Green. And he never once used a black person to build up a jump scare.

This sequel however did exactly that, and filmed in the relative safety of New Orleans. This to me actually formed a few really questionable moments that did make me wonder how well the nature of the source material was understood. To me this isn't just a poor sequel, it is quite unnecessarily controversial as well.

And for a long time, this was the only sequel we had. Today I am happy to say that is no longer the case, and this franchise has been shown more respect.

Dead Set
(2008)

Dead Set on the contestants!!!
I think most people would say they watched this for 2 reasons.

1) It's ominously linked to Big Brother.

2) It's a zombie show (which at the time wasn't a big thing, as The Walking Dead had yet aired.

No one really had expectations. I know I didn't.

What utterly shocks me now, I consider this show a quintessential and still overshadowing competitor to any other zombie show...or film. Now of course it isn't faultless, but what it does well, it flaws.

Firstly it beats Romero at his own game. It is a very well considered social commentary on consumerism of reality TV.

Then it winds up also being a very good portrait of a Britain overtaked by the living dead.

Something that I truely loved here also was that the main heroine Kelly (Jamie Winston) is the embodiment of overwhelming public expectations. Her life was over taken by the media right from the start. By the end, she was overcome by the public, albeit of the unread variety.

It is a very clever, brutally violent, cruel and nasty piece of zombie media. And I honestly have a hard time faulting it.

The only thing most fans can argue over is the creative choice to use running zombies over the slow. And for something like this, that is a small thing to complain about.

Kidnap
(2017)

Suspend your disbelief as you do with all other films, and enjoy the ride!
I don't have the problem with this film that a lot of others seem to have. Yeah sure is eccentric, sure it defied belief.

But you know what, this is a good movie. Even with the shoty editing and bazaar camera work and the general disarray that came from the messy production and post production this film faced. It still wound up being a very engaging thriller. It had a lot of the elements that make a film like this good, and the acting was just fine and it was in places very VERY tense.

It's not very original though, and that is the one thing I wasn't in for. But for everything against it, I still think it's a worthy rainy day picture that can definently be enjoyed.

The Crazies
(2010)

The Crazy-est this...is that is is VERY good!
It follows suit in the cinematic landscape of Romero remakes as being a worthy if not better film than the original. Much in the way that Dawn of the Dead equaled it's original in many ways.

The crazies roughly follows a story of a town coming under grip of a virus that turns its inhabitants homocidally crazed.

Only difference here is that it is much better than it's source. Much MUCH better! It not only is playful, humorous and in parts ruthlessly violent. It is also harsh, cruel and heartbreaking in a way that feels truthful for any wartime situation.

Ultimately, this is a genuinely overlooked, underrated and under appreciated film that deserves a second, third and fourth look....and if ever the powers that be allow...a sequel!

The Dead
(2010)

The Dead...
The story, the setting, the ZOMBIES! It ticks all the boxes that make a good zombie horror.

However I am in the minority, in that I don't really care much for this film. A massive kick to this film is it's lead actor. He just simply was outshadowed in everyway. He carried not one section of this film, which was his one job.

It is a great film, exept him. I almost feel that the Ford brothers should have been all the more selective in who they cast. After all, they had yo tackle one of the hardest obstacles in making a zombie film in Africa with very little money. And for everything against it, it was made very very well. But that one actor...christ, he actually devalued the whole film.

Cannibal Holocaust
(1980)

Whos the real savages?
This is one of those films, where if you can sustain it to the end. You may find that you loved it, or absolutely hated it.

Personally I am in the few who actually love it. I find that it has both the capacity to be a beautiful film, just as much as it has the capacity to be one of the ugliest peices of cinema committed to celluloid.

Something that a lot of people will have difficulty with is the story...guess what? It actually has a good one.

Another point of difficulty is seperating the increasing vulgar and cruel acts of animal cruelty, cannibalism and sexual violence to get a grip of said story. This is perhaps its biggest issue. This is an incredibly violent film, so much so that any nuance will get lost in the mix.

But at its core, it is a very moral film, told through immoral means.

Army of the Dead
(2021)

Yeah, this didn't work.
Well we all have fond memories of Snyder's Dawn of the Dead. I'm probably not the only one to have hoped for a sequel.

But then came along Army of the Dead. Clearly, time has not matured Snyder in the slightest. This was the biggest pile of garbage thrown out onto screens for a long time. Coming right off of the success of better films, mainly those made from the USs Korean counterparts. They just had to contend, they failed...miserably. There just isn't enough to invest in any of these characters. Whatever drama that was there, was muddled out by the ridiculous set up this movie had. Then it's all just for the gore, which isn't very good to begin with.

I wanted to love it, I tried to love it...but I don't.

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