ivanproton

I guess that the world has run out of good. Nobody wants/expects/enjoys anything that is original, funny or intelligent anymore. Hell, I don't even care about intelligent. Everything in this film was already done better in embarrassingly recent movies, not to mention without the falsely-ironic religious slant. You're all quoting and drooling over a movie made by MORMONS. Boooooooo. Shame on all the idiots who made this the fastest-selling DVD for people my age last year. I am ashamed of anyone in their twenties. There are Christopher Lambert movies with more going for them than this, for god's sake. This is easily the worst new film I've seen since DONNIE DARKO. I will give $1000 to the first person who gouges out the director's eyes before he can shoot another film. That's 500 bucks per eye. Not bad.

P.S.: I'm serious.

Congratulations, world. As if you weren't already flooded with muddy aimless trash, DONNIE DARKO arrives to lower the final fistful of pretentious crud. A big thumb up the rear end of anyone who pretends to think this film is anything but a pandering 1st-year art student's sci-fi/DAWSON'S CREEK homage. One user comment said you have to "see it 3 times to really get it". I'd rather watch my mother get chewed to a pulp by rats than sit through this pathetic waste again. This is a real treat for fans of Drew Barrymore, mullet jokes or the Olsen Twins films. If you seriously think the "twist" ending makes sense, I insist that you spend the rest of the night sucking bullets from a shotgun. A blind deaf caveman with cerebral palsy could make a better movie with his foot. If you disagree, write me. I will drive to your house, kick a hole in your head and listen to all the air squeal out.

The first and last film to be shot entirely in sign language, DEAFULA is probably one of the most earth-shattering works of all time. Other IMDB users waste their breath on insults, but I dare you to find a better example of: *a toddler tearing the throat out of a puppy. *a policeman flapping his arms like a bird *hippies stabbing priests *hunchbacks with tin cans for hands *a tiny troll-like policeman that rightfully makes a mockery of all the people of England. ...If you can't enjoy this movie, you are not a human being.

One of the most unbelievable sequels ever made, supposedly shot entirely without the knowledge or consent of the creators of the first TROLL film! At first glance a sub-Z-grade continuity abomination, this fine fine example of direct-to-video hysteria is a nonstop explosion of genius disguised as ineptitude. Grade-schooler Joshua is visited by the protective ghost of his Grandpa Seth, who warns him that his family's vacation destination of Nilbog (.) may be worth avoiding. But there's no changing dad's mind, and soon the whole family is knee-deep in black magic and nefarious villagers, including the remarkably abnormal `Sheriff Gene Freak'. Joshua and his dead grandpa are the only ones aware of their mortal danger, which Joshua at one point attempts to curb by urinating all over the dinner table. Not bad for PG-13. Worth noting is the fact that `trolls' aren't mentioned once in the film, while the threat of goblins remains all too real. Directed by `Drago Floyd', who was actually Claudio Fragasso, a low-rent auteur from the initial home video exploitation tidal wave of the late 1980s. Fragasso most importantly directed Alice Cooper in MONSTER DOG, but also made a significant mark by writing TERMINATOR II in 1989. No, not TERMINATOR 2 with Arnold Schwarzennegar.the other one, starring, uh, nobody.

The untouchable Jack Palance leads a pack of virtual reality cowboys in this shameless high-concept ripoff of Yul Brynner's WESTWORLD. Several amnesiacs awaken in a dusty old west town, where they are immediately forced into slavery. Their only hope of social advancement is to murder other denizens of Blood City, gaining all-important street cred and working their way up to a face-off with the schizophrenic sheriff, valiantly played to the straight-faced hilt by Palance. The prematurely revealed would-be `twist' is that all the amnesiacs are actually in suspended animation, merely passing a computerized aptitude test in the technologically manufactured west, uh.world. And if you've rented BLOOD CITY in search of blood, there's not a drop to be seen. This constantly deflating film co-stars sci-fi veterans Keir (2001) Dullea and Barry (SPACE:1999) Morse, and was also released as WELCOME TO BLOOD CITY.