dmrotstein

I knew this movie has potential to be my favorite from the very first moments. The score is excellent and matches the scenes and characters perfectly. The setup and initial character development are all but flawless. Granted, it's easy if the main character simply narrates the basic premise, but it feels natural and there is still plenty of details left for us to discover as the action unfolds. The visual effects are perfect too. I-R0k is one of the best villains I've ever seen - brilliant, stupid, scary, and comical at the same time in perfect harmony. It all seemed too good to be true, and so it was. After the first hour of the movie, right after IOI blew up Wade's home, things suddenly fell apart so clearly as if a script writer suddenly ran away and was replaced by a teenage underachiever. And it couldn't come at a worst time. I mean this was supposed to be a pivotal moment in the movie, when Wade is at his lowest, his home and family are gone, he's completely alone, helpless and running for his life. This is when he must realize that he needs friends to survive, both in Oasis and the real world. This is when he can discover his true strength, stop being a slacker who just wants to hide from his crappy life in a fantasy world. Instead, he just goes with the flow from that point, losing any shreds of initiative he had before. First, he's kidnapped by some moronic "rebellion" (which plays no further role in the movie) and unwillingly meets all his "friends" in the real world, and so on. The following scenes and dialogs feel primitive and juvenile, character development stops completely, leaving Daito and Sho in particular horribly underdeveloped, plot lines get lost, and so on. Wade goes from "I don't clan" to "In the name of the High Five" with no preparation or justification. One of the most anticipated moments - him meeting Art3mis in the real world - goes without a hitch, because her avatar is pretty much her real self (including identical voice and personality) and Wade simply brushes off any slight differences in appearance. Same is true with Helen - she suddenly jumps in and within a few seconds it's like nothing happened and they always knew each other in the real world. Her being a woman was obvious from the start, by the way, if only because Aech's voice is clearly a digitally lowered female voice. Sorrento's arc is also a total loss - he suddenly goes from being afraid of real action to grabbing a gun and going after Wade, but when he gets there he does nothing. Oh, and he gets punched in the balls and in the face. Hilarious... if you're twelve. Okay, the moment where Wade realizes that Anorak is not an avatar, but something mysterious has some great potential, but even that is left hanging. I'm not saying the second half of the movie is completely unwatchable - there's plenty of fun action, especially during the final battle, but that's all just mindless action, nothing left of the movie's true potential. To paraphrase I-R0k: "Well, Spielberg blows it. Shocking."

Yes, it's all true - great story (for the most part), developed characters, lots of fun - it's all there, and it's highly addictive. Got me hooked right from the start. But it could've been so much more... Here the creators had a completely new world, to mold as they please, and all they did was to fill it with all the outdated oriental mysticism they could find. No imagination whatsoever, just borrowing every existing mambo-jumbo from the ancient Chinese, Japanese, and Hindu traditions. The same goes to the animals, cultures, architecture, clothing - just a random jumble of existing things, no novelty. Even the characters seem borrowed. For instance, Toph is just another version of He-Man (as crazy as it might seem), and Azula is clearly based on Mandy, even if you forget that they share the same voice. Another complaint is animation quality. Although it's certainly superb by Nick's usual standards, it comes up short when compared to modern animation series, and that includes the latest anime as well. In a series which relies so heavily on action scenes, I think they could've done a better job. And even though I'm generally a fan of anime, those silly facial gimmicks like large sweat drops and "angry lines" are my least favorite part, and I'd like to see it as little as possible. Avatar uses these gimmicks all too often, especially for a fake anime. As for the storyline, one of my problems is predictability. For example, I had no problem guessing the true identity of the Blue Spirit or the Painted Lady right from the start, or predicting that Ty Lee will betray Azula, and so on. And I'm generally very bad at things like that.

Now for the good parts. Although the creators borrowed everything from oriental traditions, at least they enlisted some real experts on the subject. Kudos on that. Too bad they didn't add an astronomer to the bunch - some episodes cry for an expert in that field, especially the one with the solar eclipse. I also enjoyed seeing so many familiar names in the cast - apparently whatever money they saved on animation they used to hire some excellent actors. The second season was a bit too sad for my liking (though I loved the addition of Toph to the group), and I don't think that the plot justified all that tragedy, but the third season compensated for it with excellent, sophisticated, and funny (and not in a usual shallow way) episodes. As the ending approached, I was increasingly afraid that they might ruin the ending like they did for "Basquash", or, worse yet, end it with a cliffhanger like "Angel" or "Mortal Kombat", or even leave it unfinished like "Invader Zim". Fortunately, none of that had happened, and the ending was proper and (almost) decisive, albeit predictable and kind of flat, but tolerably so. I also felt that too many story lines were left hanging. I would've liked to see Toph's parents coming to their senses, Zuko returning his stolen ostrich-horse with apology, Azula in an asbestos mental institution, and a few other things. Normally, so many deficiencies wouldn't merit 8 out of 10, but I was so hooked to this series from the first episode to the last and then all over again, that I guess it deserves a fat bonus.

There can be little doubt that this series is in need of some major rewriting. Perhaps the worst part here is the character development, or, rather, lack thereof. Almost every character represents a one-dimensional stereotype that can be described by very few words. Dan is a raging idiot, Sela is a crazy girl with multiple sexual deviations, Iceman is a nice and kind lunatic, Haruka is obsessed with profeet (that is profit and feet), and so on. I don't even want to talk about Bel and some other silly comic reliefs. Coco is the one character who has great potential for development... which never comes. And almost everyone seems to be suffering from a post traumatic stress disorder, which, honestly, gets old after a while.

As for the plot, it does have great potential, but realization is poor. To say the least. In fact, most of the times the storyline is advanced simply by one of the characters stepping up to a microphone (often literally) and advancing it "manually" by revealing yet another "big secret", of which we, the viewers, weren't exactly aware until that point, so why should we even care? One good example of this is the identity of the mysterious Ultimate Bystander, who seems to know everything about main characters' movements. But only a few lines of dialog suggest that Bystander's identity should interest us and that it will have some future importance, and then we're simply told that it was Coco all along, which explains nothing and so useless that it's not even a spoiler to reveal this here. Also, many story lines get abandoned in the middle or left hanging in the end, most notably the one about moon giants - they get just a few seconds worth of screen time, no lines, and no explanation behind them (or that stupid defense system which keeps them a secret for some unknown reason), even though the plot is screaming for one. I would also like to have a story for those sentient, shape-shifting pets with supernatural abilities, which only five of the characters have. There is no explanation for these pets, even though certain scenes hint at their connection to this whole legend thing. And by the way, whatever happened to Dan's and Coco's parents? Actually, most of the young characters appear to be orphans. Is Earth-Dash really such a bad place that people drop dead all around? Holding short the romantic story lines was a big disappointment. Although, with three girls clumsily competing for Dan's attention, maybe it became too complicated and the writers decided to tune it all down to foggy hints, which do persist until the end, however. The setting is also poorly developed. In particular, we never get to see the Mooneyes, even though part of the story apparently occurs there. And Earth-Dash is represented by a fragmented description of a few cities, with no idea as to the global picture, the government, the interconnection between Earth-Dash and the Moon, and so on. The setting feels more like a cardboard stage, and falls far short of a typical fictional universe. And finally, even such an artificial storyline is uneven. The first eight or so episodes are outright boring, until it finally becomes apparent that there is some kind of a story behind all those mindless ball games. After that it does become interesting, but the last two episodes are bland and simplistic, which, after all the tension buildup in the preceding episodes, is very disappointing. So why 6 out of 10? Despite all the flaws, the series does manage to evoke strong emotions in most of the "interesting" episodes between eighth and 24th. Of course, another big attraction, if not the biggest, are all those cute, half-naked girls (and also boys, if that's your preference). I mean, looking at Rouge, how often can you see a girl with cleavage on the rear part of her pants? That's something, all right, perhaps even more incredible than Haruka's breasts that rival her head in terms of size. Interestingly though, there is no explicit nudity in the series, but with so many borderline teasers you wouldn't know it. And what finally puts it all together is the excellent musical score. So I guess this series isn't about legends or storytelling of any kind - it's just a heap of visual and auditory stimulus. And that has to count for something too, doesn't it?

I don't consider myself an emotional person, but this series often kept me at the edge of my seat, especially at the finale. Probably the best part is that you don't know what the ending will be, until it happens - you can make guesses, but you can't be sure whether it's going to be a "happy end", or a "heroic death" end, or even something different altogether. I won't say which one it turned out to be, except noting that it was a perfect fit for the series, and that's something you don't see too often, unfortunately. The character development is probably the best I've ever seen. Every single character gets thoroughly developed, but almost no one is static - they all change significantly throughout the series, evolve under the new, unusual conditions (except maybe Luna, but she's strong enough already). This what makes this show so realistic, despite it being a cartoon, a science-fiction, and a fantasy all in one. And that's a major achievement.

One should note, though, that at first it may not look too promising - the story starts to develop slowly and not very eventfully for about a dozen episodes. But after a while the real adventures begin and so do the mysteries. Actually, the first hints that the series has much more to offer than just a group of lost kids, do appear in the earliest episodes. And then the real fun starts. The animation is as good as you might expect from such a series. Even those silly, irritating anime faces (with apple-sized sweat drops, crosses for eyes, etc.) all but disappear by the middle of the series, making it ever more realistic (and enjoyable). My only complaint is that at the ending of each episode they provide a short, but all-inclusive summary of the following episode. Apparently, the makers of the series are unfamiliar with the term "spoiler". I recommend switching to a different channel the moment this summary starts. Besides that, really can't think of anything bad to say, so it's a solid 10.

And in my case the series has also contributed to my Japanese, because I watched it with subtitles. Entertaining and educational at the same time - how about that?

In fact, I've watched it as a child and many years later as an adult, and I liked it every time. My distinct impression is that Justin Chapman is a noticeably better actor than Michael Oliver, so that was a welcomed change. John Ritter was better, but Ben Healy isn't such a leading character in this movie anyway, so it's not very noticeable. And this one is probably more funny than the first two combined. In fact, I'd say it's almost perfect, as long as you remember two things:

1. Disregard the first two movies - the continuity isn't so good, even though Big Ben does try to explain away the disappearance of some of the characters from the previous movie. What caught my eye the most is that Junior's adoption is completely ignored. But that goes for the second movie as well.

2. Don't take this movie too seriously. Much like "Hudson Hawk", it's designed for a mindless fun, not to be over-analyzed for a deep meaning or lack thereof. If you going down that road and start asking questions like how come Junior always gets away with things that would get him locked up in a real world despite his age, you won't be able to enjoy this movie. Or the first two ones, for that matter.

Anyway, the ending turned out better than in the previous movies, because it was fitting, and yet not very predictable... but that's all I can say here. So I take a point for each of the requirements above and leave it with 8.

Good thing I didn't get a chance to see it in theaters, but watched it on TV for "free". Otherwise, it might not have been 3 stars, two of which I give for the excellent first try of realistic motion capture. No, it's true - at times I'd forget it's not a live action movie. Until they show the faces up close, that is. The third star goes for the sincere effort of making a good fantasy movie. As one of the characters put it: "It's the thought that counts".

Now to the bad parts, one by one:

1. There is hardly any plot. The whole movie is a sequence of unconnected and meaningless mishaps, which are supposed to be adventures, I guess. Take them away and you got nothing left. I couldn't shake an impression that the movie was made specifically to turn it into a theme park ride. I wonder why they didn't? Or maybe they did and I missed it? If so - lucky me.

2. The real miss is that they didn't make it a live action/cartoon combo. The "reality" scene should have been done by live action - that's how it's supposed to be! Yes, sometimes you can break traditions, and it works, but this time it didn't.

3. What is the deal with all the broken story lines? That weird hobo on the train (I do mean ON the train) - it looks like there is a damn good story about him. Who is he? Why is he the way he is, and does what he does, and thinks what he thinks? Nothing is ever explained, except for a very vague hint about ghosts, which, of course, reveals nothing interesting. I waited till the end to find out his story, but none came! We never even learn what was that present Billy was making such a big deal about. We are being teased till the end, but never find out. Why?! And what is the deal with the two main character having no names? That was the last straw.

4. But the worst of all are the supposed "messages" of the film. I counted three: - Love Christmas more so that you can buy more presents. - Make friends so you can say "goodbye forever" to them. And, last but certainly not least: - You must throw away your rationality and the ability for critical thinking and succumb to a full blown delusion... for no reason, but to have a persistent auditory hallucination".

I don't think I have to explain what I think of those messages, do I?

Cars and racing are really not my favorite subject, and the only reason I (reluctantly) decided to watch Cars was because it was the only Pixar movie I haven't seen, so I just wanted a complete collection. Thank goodness for my obsession with completeness. This movie isn't about cars or racing at all, even if it features both. Of course, there is nothing original in the plot (almost a remake of "Doc Hollywood") or in the concept of a human world populated only by non-humans ("Duck Tales"), or a world of sentient cars ("Transformers"). But the lack of originality is characteristic of every Pixar movie to date, and they always get away with this. But there is one unusual twist this time - the cars don't try to be human! Unlike "WALL-E", "Bugs Life", and many others, it's often difficult to draw parallels between humans and cars. What is a human equivalent of a paint job? Tattoo? Ramone does call it "body art", but they change their colors as easily as clothes. So maybe it's clothing? If so, then rusty cars are naked, but they aren't regarded as such. And many characters seem to retain the same pain job for decades, day and night. So what is a paint job? It's paint job and that's all it is. And what is oil? Mack refers to "oil-thirsty parasites", but the Sheriff goes for a "quart of oil" at Flo's. So which is it, blood or drink? It's both. The moral is - don't try to draw parallels, just enjoy this new world of cars and take it for what it is. The decision to put eyes on the windshield is brilliant! Not because it makes the cars "more expressive", but because it solves a very big problem, which plagues the world of Transformers - why would a car in a world devout of humans even have a windshield? Or doors, or seats, or steering wheels? These cars have none of this. Look closely - we never get a look inside any of the cars. These are truly living Cars, not vehicles made by humans for humans. The final piece that puts it all together is the soundtrack - every song is so catchy it stays in your head, and it flows with the movie. If you need proof that a weak music score can ruin a movie, watch "Harry Potter". I had to watch Cars at least 10 times before noticing that the end of the final race doesn't make much sense and could have been made better (I wouldn't say more so as not to spoil anything), but if it takes that many times to notice that, I guess it's as good as it gets. I don't remember any other movie that was so close to being perfect (despite all the mentioned flaws), so it's 10 hands down.

Once again, Pixar has created a masterpiece in terms of animation, character development, fine details, and humor. As always, the plot is hardly original, but feels like it is. The musical score isn't as good as in Cars, but what would be? Sufficient to say that I was mesmerized by this movie and couldn't help but watching it over and over again. So why 6 and not 10, like any other Pixar movie to date (except Finding Nemo, which is simply too sad for a review)? Here's my problem: A plot can suggest anything, no matter how weird, but whatever happens, it must be internally consistent. There is nothing unbelievable about toys that come to life, or a world of cars or monsters or sentient bugs - those are legitimate concepts in the context of their respective movies. But here we have a world much like our own, which was destroyed by garbage, of all things. Why is it not self-consistent? Because we are presented with a civilization, which, despite its flaws (commercially oriented, monopoly-ruled), have achieved unimaginable technological wonders in terms of efficiency and reliability. Forget the hyper-drive, hover-cars, and blasters - those are sci-fi banalities. But here we have a ship, built for a five-year mission, but lasted centuries without any major malfunction. We have a robot the size of a child that flies with supersonic speeds, hovers constantly (even in a dormant state), and has a firepower of a large 20th century battleship. And she doesn't even need to recharge! Obviously she has an incredibly efficient but very small power source. And I mean very small, because we know she's almost entirely hollow inside! WALL-E himself is even more amazing - he's capable of fast motion and heavy lifting, not to mention a laser-like cutter, and his processor is powerful enough to sustain intelligence. But to power all that he has only a square foot worth of solar panel. Even if the panel is 100% efficient, its maximum output can't be greater than a 100 watts. But it only takes a few seconds to charge the batteries for many hours, if not days. That implies power requirements that a single AA battery can easily provide! And remember that those batteries are 700 years old! But the most amazing item is the fact that there is a lot of garbage on the ship, and it's constantly being ejected into space along with the air in the ejection chamber. At this rate, over the course of 700 years, the amount of ejected garbage would be many times the total mass of the ship, and the air would be completely gone long before that. Obviously, there is some sort of a matter-energy converter on board that keeps producing new raw materials, new air, and so on, and this production is easier and cheaper than garbage recycling, otherwise why dump it? The bottom line is that a civilization having such a technology shouldn't even produce any garbage, but even if it does, then with the resources which allow to send the entire Earth's population (and a very large one, considering the amounts of garbage we see) to luxury space cruises, it will not, can not meet its downfall because of garbage. In fact it could easily reconstruct the entire Earth's ecology from scratch. It would even make more sense to stuff the BNL fleet with this garbage and dump it all into the Sun. It would be enormously cheaper and safer to construct underground or domed cities, if the population was indeed interfering with the cleanup (and why would it?). An army of EVEs could melt all the garbage in a matter of days. And so on. But the best they could come up with was a bunch of tiny garbage picking robots? Give me a break! No, the very basis of the plot is too weak to make sense. Worse yet, unlike the characters, the plot is severely undeveloped. Where are all the other ships? What about the government? It's like the humanity was intentionally "simplified" to make life easy for the writers. But the second half of the movie is based on the most simplistic concept ever - put object A into object B (the plant into a detector in this case), and all the problems will be magically and instantly solved, with no additional effort. Such primitivism can work only once - and so it did in "Lord of the Rings", but enough is enough. Finally, the movie is plagued with silly and totally unnecessary astrophysical mistakes (too many to mention here). Carl Sagan was right when he suggested that every sci-fi film should have at least a graduate physics student as a consultant. The Galaxy is only a billion miles wide? People fall down in space? Microgravity!? Come on! Given all that, a 6 is more than this movie deserves. But it does deserve at least that - it's a wonderful, magical, emotional movie with an appropriate happy ending. It's just that it's based on a very poor script.