Retro2006

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Reviews

The Grinch
(2018)

Lukewarm
For the record, I love the 1966 cartoon and enjoyed watching it almost every year. This remake, on the other hand, is weak like some is missing. It does not have the warmth the original cartoon has. Sure, I can understand the film makers want to make the Grinch less scary and remove the result of him mistreating Max, but several aspects here are just too poor or awkward to the source material. I also have a personal dislike of this version of Cindy Lou as appears to be more energetic as in the 1960s cartoon, she was depicted as an innocent toddler.

If someone wants me to purchase this thing, count me out. I'd rather watch the CG remake of "Horton Hears a Who".

Halloween Is Grinch Night
(1977)

Satanic!
For a long time as a mere girl in 1994, I was liking this TV special. But now, I've seen that I was wrong. I've reviewed this thing on DVD and got creeped out by these subliminal messages that are related to occultism, such as characters resembling to Nazi signs and KKK members, the Grinch is a total sorcerer that made his eyebrows fly while rhythmically chanted in a Russian text, one song mentioned that the Grinch blasphemies as another literature substituted the word, and another song had a reference to the mark of the beast by the number of money. I'm shocked that Dr. Seuss was working on something like this. I chucked the DVD and will stick with the other Grinch specials that aren't that creepy (and I do not mean that live action headache from 2000).

Total Drama Presents: The Ridonculous Race
(2015)

Awesome spinoff of Total Drama.
Okay. Maybe it's best that there would not be anymore seasons of the original TD at this time, but this spinoff captures the spirit of "Total Drama World Tour". For one thing, it brought back three competitors from "Total Drama Island" (Geoff, Noah, and Owen), as the possible final season, "Total Drama Pahkitew Island", lacked any returns of the original characters, which are replaced with odd characters with flagrant juvenile humor (only few, Dave, Jasmine, Samey, Scarlett, Shawn, and Sky, are halfway decent). Of course, there are many new characters, but not as juvenile as the "Pahkitew Island". Unfortunately, there would not be a second season of this. Sadly, this isn't available on any home medias nor digital online stores, but is available on Netflix. Best TD spinoff ever.

Felix the Cat: The Movie
(1988)

EVIL!
"Felix the Cat: The Movie",More like "The Felix Horror Picture Show", filled with evil themes involving demons, scary images, and a notorious ruler. The classics from the 1920s and 1930s have the magic that cherishes animation collectors. This crap should have stayed in it home country, Europe, just like the Croatian animated masterpiece "The Magician's Hat", which is more watchable and likable compare to THIS! Stick with the classics, which are the real deals.

Clifford
(1994)

Don't fall for this skit!
Seriously, when I was a kid in the 1990s, I thought this movie was about a bog red dog according to the film's name and a huge dog house. Instead, it's about a freakin' grown man portraying as an annoying 10 year old boy who gets into trouble. And to think "Problem Child" was obnoxious. Take my word for this: DON'T BOTHER!

American Idol: The Search for a Superstar
(2002)

Avoid the later seasons with the replacement judges.
The first few seasons are quiet enjoyable because of the original judges, such as Paula Abdul, Randy Jackson, and Simon Cowl. I enjoyed watching the auditions with the original judges, even there are emotional moments. I quit watching the show because of the new judges, especially that Steven Tyler as they use more profanity and the way they judge the performers are completely different and forgettable. Trust me. Avoid the new seasons at all costs.

The Three Caballeros
(1944)

One of the most mature Disney cartoons of the 1940s.
I'm surprised that the Hays Office Code let Walt Disney get away with inappropriateness in cartoons before 1968, which Disney died two years before that code was eliminated. Imagine! Inter-specie intimacy! In a Disney cartoon! It would have been better off given a PG rating back when it was reissued in 1977 because of the suggestive inter-specie themes. At least this is nowhere as disgusting as the atrocious "Foodfight!" (don't get me started on that).

Planet Sheen
(2010)

The worst spinoff I've seen in years.
For the record, I love Jimmy Neutron. It's like one of the best and coolest Nicktoons of the 2000s and one of my favorites. Planet Sheen, on the other hand, is downright pitiful. Why the Sam Hill did Nickelodeon ever come up with a spinoff this lame? It was disappointing when Jimmy Neutron ended in 2006, but I guess it's better off being stayed that way. Planet Sheen has no original Jimmy Neutron characters, except Sheen, but are replaced by freaks. Even the humor sucks. Meh.

Snow White
(1990)

Worst knockoff ever.
I couldn't stomach on anything this loud and badly made. On my 12th birthday back 25 years ago, I told mom I wanted a VHS copy of Snow White on my birthday, which I meant the glorious 1937 Disney version. At the time, I didn't know the Disney version wasn't scheduled for a VHS release until the following year. When my mom gave me this sorry-excuse-for-a-generic-made knockoff on VHS, I was devastated on the inside. I've viewed it and I was not impressed with it at all. The music was so intense it made my ears bleed. The dialogue was hard for me to hear. Even the animation looked completely sloppy. Many years later in the 2000s, I no longer have it, which I'm glad it's gone.

Take my advice, stick with the Disney classic.

The Care Bears Movie
(1985)

Definitely better than the infamous prequel.
For the longest time, I really liked the second Care Bears movie. But this year, I've viewed this movie and I changed my mind, as I started to really like this movie better. For one thing, the animation is fantastic as the animation for the prequel is utterly mediocre since there were lots of animation errors that were rarely present on theatrical cartoons, more common on the Saturday morning cartoons, though. Another thing, there's not much evil forces on this movie like you see on the infamous successor, which makes me wonder if it didn't give children nightmares as hearing the malevolent Dark Heart's pure evil voice as well as seeing his glowing pierced red eyes in that one sequence. This is really the better Care Bears movie for your kids.

Underdog
(2007)

A complete insult to the 1960s cartoon.
Starting in late 1998, I grew to like Underdog as a mere girl (17 at the time). When I rent the movie based on the cartoon, despite that I didn't get to see it in theaters, I was disgusted with the film's settings. They've used real dogs as they are not identical like the cartoon ones, which I would prefer CG animated characters. The elements from the 1960s are dead here. I've rather watch the "Fat Albert" movie from 2004 compared to this rubbish. Further to that extant, I will stick with the original "Underdog" that everyone knew and love. "Underdog" is one of the cartoons that should never be rebooted if anyone is going to make characters look like clowns.

The Emoji Movie
(2017)

I didn't think this movie is that bad.
Look, I ain't gonna listen to the critics bad-mouthing this movie because I've found it very entertaining. I think Gene Meh is adorable, alongside with Hi-5 and the indie chick emoji, Jailbreak, with the exceptions of the "Poop" emoji (with a bad taste in dialogue) and Smiley, who I personally think is a real b****. There are other badly criticized flicks I will agree by the critics with, like "Care Bears Movie II: A New Generation", "Tom and Jerry: the Movie", and my two worst nightmares, "The Cat in the Hat" and "Foodfight!".

Foodfight!
(2012)

No. Just No.
Along with the horrid "Cat in the Hat" mess from 2003, this monstrosity is also one of my most hated films, ever. It's not even family-friendly at all. For one thing, the CG animation looked unfinished. I've viewed the trailer of the stolen prototype and it looked way better. Worst of all, there were lots of perverse innuendos that aren't fit for children under 15 years of age. There are other appropriate CG animated cartoons that are better than this rubbish, like "The Emoji Movie", "Sing", and "Frozen". Avoid this thing at all costs.

Super Mario World
(1991)

This isn't really a bad show, just misunderstood.
For the longest time, I was hating this show as viewing the aspects of this show "rigged", until this year when I became completely acknowledged after I learned about what went down. First of all, the animation was done at Pacific Rams Production in China, as Chinese equipment aren't the best in the world. Secondly, this show was given stricter guidelines after Federal Commission Command enacted the Children's Television Act thing in October 1990. Notably that Princess Peach's personality was changed into a responsible adult (she was more of a coming-of-age stereotype on the predecessor) prior to Betty Boop's sexuality was seized in the mid 1930s when the Hays Office Code was enacted. Also, the potential relationships were off-limits on this show, as educational values, such as telephones, wheels, no bullying at schools, and avoid junk food, were plotted throughout. Yep, guidelines were strict as the predecessor, "The Adventures of Super Mario Bros. 3", is more at a 10 year old level.

The Cat in the Hat
(2003)

Rigged!
Your kids deserve better entertainment than this god awful live action adaptation of Dr. Seuss' beloved stories. I mean, seriously, added perverse innuendos, use of alcohol, references of profanity, preteen rebellion, women with revealing clothing? I'd rather set my butt down watching the "Super Mario World" cartoon that I formerly hated than to watch similar to what people would do on "Mad". I'm so glad Dr. Seuss' widow put her foot down and stop the producers from make anymore live action adaptation of his work (You Go, Girl!). I've heard they're planning a CGI remake of the "Cat in the Hat" story. If that ever comes to pass, I hope this rigged junk was destroyed like the 1967 vault fire.

Carobnjakov sesir
(1990)

One of the rarest and best foreign animated films.
I'm not much on magicians, but Thistle is pretty adorable. I love this film next to Disney's Bongo because of the animated romance. It's just so "O.M.G." warm. Too bad this never came out in the U.S.. But for the record, I'm glad this is the only version known to exist because, seriously, if this was dubbed is English, it would be really crappy and clumsy, like the English dubbed version "The Elm-Chanted Forest". It wasn't nearly as good as the original Croatian version. Especially "Hurray for Betty Boop", which was actually animated Betty Boop shorts combined together into a full length movie with poorly written script and it was totally badly criticized, in which it was never released on newer VHS. and DVDs (it was only released once on VHS back in the mid 1980s), possibly never seen again when the 1980s died. Even the Super Mario Bros. anime movie is better left in Japanese. The original is always best, even if I don't understand foreign language.

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