hminiarj

I had been meaning to watch this for a while and yet had no idea about the plot of the movie before watching it.

First up... I am a white people, this review of course is affected by that.

It's the subtle things that get it this score from me. The quality of the acting is spot on. The plot takes it's twists and turns and had me giggling and gasping and throwing my hands up in surprise. The clever directing, the use of Emphasis in dialog, genuinely served to fuel things to greater heights.

And the little references to future events.

This is a work of art and a glorious one at that.

I can see how it hits far too close to home for comfort for a lot of (white) people, as there were moments wherein I was profoundly uncomfortable, but that doesn't take away from the sheer quality of this film.

There's complexity and beauty in this.

It's wonderful.

This movie has a lot of beautifully choreographed shots with artistic notes... but that does nothing to take away from the forced story, the garbage plot, the incredibly predictable chain of events, and the overacting, all of which is topped off with white saviours and the racist trope of killing and tormenting the people of colour for "sympathy".

The plot, as thin as it is, is neither driven by the main character, nor even truly influenced by him. Instead it feels like plot happens to the main character. He's more of an NPC than a protagonist.

The movie is slow to start, but once it gets going it goes bloody nowhere.

It's rubbish with pretty shots and big names.

You'll have more fun reading the bloody phone book.

Every once in a while they make a pretty good joke, too bad it's only once in a while.

The main attempt at humor in this series relies in the same tired old racism, sexism, ableism, homophobia and fatphobia that has been used excessively for cheap laughs over and over and over for so long that even if it wasn't bigoted it still wouldn't be funny.

To be fair... when the good joke shows up it's bloody hilarious by comparison.

That along with the consistent quality of the voice acting and animation is the only positive points for this series.

This movie has a lot of problems. There are moments of truly terrible acting. Some of the lines are extremely poorly written. There are continuity issues (especially glaring "how did they run off and suddenly get to a completely different location in a split second?" ones.) The character motivations and choices are some so illogical, and so bad, that they make no sense, some of the characters are ill defined, and the progression is sometimes so so, sometimes obvious, and even sometimes just bad. And all this, this gigantic pile of weird- bad, the movie isn't terrible, not actually.

The name choice doesn't help. It's a terrible choice for a name for this movie, other options, pretty much any other option, would have been better. It sounds like it'd be a comedy-style-version of avengers, but it's not. It has nothing to do with Marvel at all!

The core concept though, it's really not bad.

This is a movie that has moments of true B movie hilaribad and the occasional moments of "oh my gods this would be awesome if it wasn't bad".

If you like B movies, and are a forgiving personality who can laugh at the parts that don't add up, this is a diamond in the rough.

Or rather, I wish it never happened. I mean, the first one was brilliant... or at least "good". The Boondock Saints is witty, entertaining, clever, good fun, and while it has some stereotypes and tropes it doesn't appear to go out of it's way to be prejudiced drivel.

This... is nothing like that movie.

All Saints Day feels like two hyper-testosterone boys, desperate to be "REAL MEN", with no cinematic experience that didn't involve loony toons, got together and wrote a shitty fanfic based on the first movie, and someone read it and thought to themselves that this was a great way to try and build a franchise.

The amount of "no homo" and slapstick in this pile of drivel is hideous. And the dream vision of how to be REAL MEN(tm) just takes the f-ing cake.

Only saving grace in the whole movie is... well... there isn't one.

If you enjoyed the Boondock Saints, walk away, this never happened.

I read the reviews before I watched it, and I almost didn't watch it, but I felt like watching some rubbish, and you know, I'm glad this was it.

Not because it's rubbish, but because there's so much more here than meets the eye.

It starts out simple enough, after the grab, after the kidnapping. There's a tiny hint, a little bit of predestination, and a fair bit of creepy at that.

The actresses are pretty good, the actor playing the male kidnapper is not quite as good, but he's passable, and the two other men do a reasonable job actually.

There are twists in this movie. One made me feel clever because I saw it coming even if I couldn't tell you why. The other... the other slipped right past me...

I actually recommend watching this. It's a pleasant little gem.

Where do I begin. First scene appears to have NOTHING to do with the rest of the story. The main character is a recovering alcoholic and brings it up every f- ing chance she gets. Dad's Friend is creepy.. not just because his acting skills aren't there, or because he just has creepy lines to read... turns out he just is a complete creep... obviously.

There's a conversation about what to watch on TV because the main character doesn't have reception stuff set up yet...

The wolf looks more like a bat than a wolf.

The main character falls for an escaped convict after meeting him twice... or less... AFTER creepy dad's old friend has given her a F-ING GUN to protect herself.. FROM SAID ESCAPED CONVICT!... and her response?.. "wanna come stay at my place?"

And then the werewolf shows up and mauls the escaped convict and she finds him, barely alive, seriously wounded,... and her reaction is to take him to her place, which has been repeatedly established to NOT have a phone nor a cell reception... instead of.. I don't know... getting in range and phoning an ambulance?

It just... doesn't get better, at any point... The dialog is shitty enough, but it's delivered without any feeling, any reality involved... it's dry.. held back... The whole thing is awkward as all hell.

This movie, from start to finish, is a bit of a disaster. The actors range from overactor to not an actor, to a varying degree. Their characters are hyper-stereotyped however, so it sort of works. The setting is pretty good, and the storyline a fantastic pile of myth drivel. The Wolf is... Bad... Like, really Bad. Pure B movie bad and then some.

The only thing this movie really lacks, is a generous helping of self- deprecating humor. But if you're not too hung up on it, it's actually a lot better than a few choice titles of recent, better budgeted, horror movies. And if you can forgive the terrible effects, it's actually slightly reminiscent of American Werewolf in London.

So. Expect nothing, and you will be rewarded.

I flicked from channel to channel to find something to watch and found this, Alex Cross, sitting there with it's promising basic plot hook and started watching it. Heck, I even made a point of leaving the channel on while some drivel finished off before it.

When it first started it was disjointed, and it took a while to get remotely invested in following the plot line, but as it progressed it became nearly impossible to be invested in anything relevant to the movie whatsoever.

The performances of pretty much every single actor in this movie is poor or worse. They deliver the lines without any flare, any emotion, with extremely rare exceptions, but to be perfectly honest, it's understandable. You see, the lines they were given to deliver are mostly utter rubbish. NO ONE TALKS LIKE THAT! No one even acts like that. The few scenes not marked by dramatic underacting by the main cast are made hilariously bad by the overacting of the supporting cast.

The whole movie feels like the writing was done by someone who's completely socially inept but fascinated by crime dramas and has spent a little too much time watching movies like Seven.

This movie is so bad it doesn't even serve as a good "background noise" while you mill about on your computer. It's so bad you just can not ignore it. It's so bad it hurts to watch it.

To be fair, and honest, I wasn't familiar with the character prior to watching this movie and thus I might not have appreciated it as much as I would have if I had already been a fan of the character.

Now, let's start with the positive points. The acting was... not entirely awful the entire time, but there were moments where I wondered if they picked up the actors at a local WalMart. The special effects weren't completely unbelievable, there was actually one rather cool looking demon, but for the most part the CGI critters seemed so out of sync for the rest of the shot that they might as well have been a claymation figures (with no offense meant to claymation, cause that stuff rocks.)

But what did I really dislike about it? The fight scenes were poorly choreographed and tried too hard to "look cool" making 'em look like something out of a 6th grade play. There were multiple scenes in places that looked awful similar to one another even if they were supposed to be worlds apart. That is to say, scenery was liberally recycled. Many of the shots were redundant and seemed to exist solely for sake of "look at how cool this guy is." Which brings me to the number one reason I dislike this movie..... Solomon Kane! Here's a guy who for no apparent reason is having his soul collected by Satan's personal reaper who's so inept at his job that Kane not only is able to control the ensuing sword fight but he's also able to escape, apparently without being chased! And his solution to "the devil's out to get me" is to join a monastery. Apparently, in some inexplicable way, Kane's gotta stop getting into fights or else the devil will find him, this is never explained either. The monks send him away, cause the abbot dreamt something telling him to and so he becomes "the lone wanderer" for a bit. At this point I thought the character might actually have some potential, but no. He's offered a ride through dangerous country, and like the self- loathing, self-destructive guy who doesn't actually want to die... he refuses and yet is somehow able to move faster than the cart drawn by two horses so that when the obvious misfortune finds him and knocks him unconscious, the same cart can pick him up and take him along. (Seriously, were they just driving in circles, looking to find someone to save?) Bla bla bla, bonding, trying to get the audience to understand Kane with images from his youth, trying to get the audience to bond with the people who picked him up, but the characters are paper thin, forced, generic and weak, meaning you don't "really" care when they (quite obviously) get attacked by demon possessed raiders, who kidnap the young girl (cause, our hero needs a maiden to save) and kill her brothers and father, but alas, before the killing starts, the family is pleading with Kane to do "something" to help them, to save them, but he stands there, like a dope, and tries to reason with a group of psychopaths. After the fight the father talks to Kane with his dying words and promises Kane that if he swears that he'll save his daughter then by saving his daughter will save Kane's soul (convoluted, illogical, how does this even work?) Now, while he's doing that, I'm sitting here going "How can this guy be talking to Kane like he's a hero when Kane just stood there and let his youngest son's throat be slit without offering any resistance what so ever?" Anyway, Kane rides off, leaving the wife of the dying (now dead) man alone in the woods, her cart on fire and her horses long run off, with no back-up and no battle prowess of her own, to go find her daughter from a group of demon-possessed marauding psychos. Random fight scenes, random places, recycled scenery, Kane gets told by demon-possessed marauding psycho that the girl he seeks is dead and his immediate reaction is to get completely falling-down-drunk at the nearest non-burnt-down tavern (paying with a random coin-purse that apparently materialized out of nowhere). People of the town plead for his help, he refuses to do anything, and lo.... again... while "the greatest warrior ever" just stands around, wallowing in self-pity, self-loathing and apparent self- destructive depression, people start dying again! He can't get off his behind to help a town full of women and children who're being tossed into carts while their homes are burnt to the ground, but when the missing girl spots him and calls out to him for rescue he's apparently such a cool dude he can pry himself off of his own crucifix.

Anyway, this just goes on and on and on with the whining and the self- pity-party to it's obvious conclusion, at which point he tells the girl that he saved her basically just to save himself from a contract he had made with the devil. Yep. He saved her so he didn't have to face the consequences of his own actions it appears, though in the start of the film he didn't admit to knowing nothing about no contract. Only AFTER he's saved his soul does he want to do something 'bout evil.

It's just, such an annoying, weak minded, selfish, arrogant, ignorant, tool of a character to be remotely likable, and the actor playing him only seemed to be able to show two emotions; "I like stabbing things" and "I'm so depressed I want to die." which pretty much sums up the whole of the character so I don't really care anyway.

The only good thing about this movie is that it made the other movies I've watched recently look AWESOME by comparison!

This show came on telly the other night and since my hands were busy and I was insomnic at the moment, I watched a single episode and that was enough to make me never want to watch this show again.

Mike is your standard issue comedy cop, complete with the obligatory funny black partner while Molly is your standard issue housewife-type girlfriend. Their relationship is fraught with the generic comedy-show problems which in reality would be easily fixed with 20 seconds open and honest communication but in the world of comedy the obvious path is to talk to everyone but the partner and then decide to do something manipulative and/or passive-aggressive while the canned laughter plays in the background.

The laughs focused on humiliation, awkwardness, and passive aggression for the most part, but many of the jokes in the episode I had the misfortune of watching were homophobic jokes.

The show does get 2 points for the quality of acting from the cast which made the characters actually rather alive even if they were still fundamentally horrible people in general, and for having a cast that isn't fully stocked with pretty people that fit the "pretty actor/actress" mold. But that is all this show brings to the table.