adrianAKArosemarys_baby

The title of my comment is actually the best line in the movie - sadly a comedic one in a supposedly serious horror movie. I'll divide this comment in plot and acting:

Plot:

After 15 years, the main character Phillip needs to return to his rural northern German hometown because the town's mayor wants to buy his parents's bequest - a big creepy old mansion. Phillip shouldn't have returned to the town however, as his presence awakes the "Gonger" of a child that died in the forties. A Gonger is the spirit of a killed person, who is said to haunt the second generation descendants of its murderer. Oddly enough, in 2008 there are only four descendants of the 4 boys who killed the child back in 1943. You would at least expect them to have twenty incestuous relatives somewhere.

Anyway, due to Phillip's presence, the descendants will dream of each other's death inflicted by the Gonger - a dream which could become reality if the friends don't act fast enough. If they successfully save one, then it'll be the next one's turn... Wait, isn't this ripped off from Final Destination? Not only does the movie copy the formula of the mentioned movie, it's also full of every horror movie cliché from the last decade.

First off, you have your specific 'important' characters who WON'T die in the movie, and the 'unimportant' characters which include your token pothead, token fat guy and token nerd. Then you have the "Gonger", your creepy little child with dark sordid clothes, face covered by something and moving in a slow "creepy" manner. I'm so tired to see this stupid "creepy" kid in every goddamn horror movie these days.

In the end, the dude figures out that the only way to end his (and his new girlfriend's) misery is to redeem the Gonger from whatever. But unfortunately the kid was no "Gonger" because Gongers actually do not exist - the kid was some devil child or some other crap. Instead of giving salvation to the kid, he reincarnated an evil child from the past. Why call this movie "Gonger" at all then? And why does the kid want to kill the descendants at first if he very well knows that he could be more effective (in killing) if exactly those people resurrect him? What I also hated about the movie is that the plot advances way too fast. There's no time invested into introducing the characters. I could have cared less if the Gonger got them.

Acting:

Acting is as expected subpar. ProSieben poured enough money into nice cinematography but spent no cent for decent actors? The main character did the best job, but this is saying much because his performance came off wooden in many scenes. On the other end is Helma, the girl who is probably a soap opera reject - otherwise I would not be able to explain her terrible acting "skills". In Germany, it seems that you only need to look halfway handsome to get roles in movies. Especially bad are the people who are acting as corpses (expect to laugh out load when you see Phillip's mother). The kid is most likely also a bad actor or otherwise they wouldn't have limited him to one phrase and pushed all of his scenes into the last three minutes. Last but least Bela B. should either have acting classes or stay far away from movies altogether - I haven't realized his acting was so bad in "Garden of Love" but in that movie he was dubbed with a demonic voice - go figure why.

I thought this movie would be at least a little more enjoyable. I really didn't expect too much - hey it's a TV horror movie for 12 year olds after all. But all the scenes in the trailer, which were all crammed into the last two minutes of the movie, looked a little different because the boy had evil blue glowing eyes added to him. Why did they do that? A case of false advertising, if you ask me. The ending also sucked, as it felt like the cliff hanger of a TV episode. Does this mean they will make a sequel? How should that work? They can't use the Gonger name anymore for obvious reasons. If you feel like wasting your time for nothing and losing brain cells in the process, then "Gonger" is the perfect solution.

Last night I was in the mood to watch a movie which wouldn't need too much of my attention. So "In 3 Tagen bist du tot" looked like the ultimate candidate.

The movie revolves around a group of friends who just graduated from school. Shortly after, all of them receive a SMS which tells them that they would die in three days and your typical teen slasher ensues. The movie's language is native Austrian German, which gets a plus from me for authenticity. The problem however was that I had to pay more attention to the dialog than usual, but surprisingly I understood the entire film (I'm fluent in Swabian and standard German).

Similarities to other teen slashers, especially "I know what you did last summer", are highly obvious and the movie doesn't deviate too much from those movies. Like other movies of its ilk, the movie is not tense and creepy at all and only justifies its horror tag with gruesome and gory murders. The scenes in between the murders are way too drawn out and feature little dialog. Additionally many things do not make much sense - how the killer got all of the group's mobile phone numbers in the first place or why in hell the guy who saved Nina did not even manage to batter a 50-something woman is anyone's guess.

The young cast does okay, for a teen slasher that is. The acting by the 50-something female killer is downright horrible though: When she reveals herself to the friends, all she does is permanently stare uninterestingly at the guy pointing the gun at her - this is supposed to be frightening? Or when she looks 'surprised' when she's killed at the end, absolutely comical...

In the end the cinematography is good - you can see that some money went into production. I really can't recommend anybody to watch the movie, except for the novelty that it's an Austrian horror movie.

I caught this last night on TV, and when I read the premise in the teletext it sounded entertaining enough to kill the time before I would go to sleep. Well entertaining in the sense of watching a mindless action movie which doesn't require any thought to view. It seemed like a high budget Steven Seagal movie, so I kept watching. It got worse the closer the movie came to its end.

The protagonist Joey is a low life criminal who is usually completing the task to make murder weapons disappear. From the beginning he is a very unlikeable character by complaining to his fine looking housewife (women are mostly depicted as housewives and whores in the movie) after a brief intercourse that his son should stop hanging around with the "Russian boy" Oleg. Oleg however steals one of the murder weapons from Joey's basement and shoots his abusing stepfather, after telling him that his icon John Wayne is a "faggot". I admit that I do not have a lot of contact to young kids these days, but to me it seems highly unlikely that a ten year old boy is labeling someone a "faggot". The kid also has no problems to handle the gun and give the stepfather a fatal injury.

Now Oleg has to run for his Life before his stepfather kills him in his ever present rage. Joey realizes that it was one of his hidden guns and does everything to track Oleg and the gun before the mobsters or the police does, to escape prison or worse death. The movie starts to get ridiculous after this point and tries its best to one up itself in every scene that follows.

When the script comes to the point where it can't reach a higher shock moment, all of a sudden a mini plot with a child porn directing couple by whom Oleg is abducted kicks in, which has no purpose for the grand scheme of things. Joey's wife though saves Oleg and upon deciding how she should contact the police after seeing their child porn collection, ruthlessly murders the couple with multiple precisely aimed shots, instead of having them send to prison. The movie follows the Tarantino school of movie making where vigilance is an acceptable form of "justice" and gore and over the top violence is "art". The movie also takes the viewer for dumb, that everything needs to be hinted at, like when Joey exits his car and tells a lurking thug to not do anything with it, so that we know that the car was stolen few minutes later instead of just showing Joey with the empty parking lot while he is screaming into the air, the screaming being almost comical.

One of the more disgusting scenes is when Joey tries to start a conversation with Oleg in his car. He asks him what music he listens to, if it was "that techno sh*t" or rap music. Oleg responds that the music he wants to listen to is not played in the radio, which is some sort of Russian music. Joey angrily tells Oleg that he doesn't need to listen to this "sh*t" because he was born in America and shortly afterwards tries to force him into saying "I'm an American", which he does. This scene should send the message to the viewers that anybody should be ashamed of their non-American heritage and to be an American is ultimately the highest form of a human being.

Near the end there's a bloody showdown in an ice hockey arena where Joey tells that he is an undercover cop, which is incongruous to the reason why he was so meticulously collecting the bullets and the gun itself before the other cops did so.

After an drawn out ending, Joey and family are seen happily together with the adopted/assimilated Oleg who is now a perfect bourgeois American boy.

You see in Germany before the US television series "Lost" aired and not many people knew of its existence (including me), the private broadcaster RTL (which gets high ratings for every crap they show on TV) thought for themselves: "Hmmm... we know that we can't purchase 'Lost' because that Haim Saban guy from Pro7 already bought it. Let's copy/steal the idea!"

Sadly this isn't the first time RTL thought up of this horrible scenario. Off the top of my head they have already copied "Married with children", a "Charlie's Angels" TV show (two versions exist of these) and there are MANY more that I forgot trust me. They even made a own movie that copies the basics of "Under Siege 2" mixed with further Seagal and Van Damme stereotypes.

So they have made "Verschollen" and heavily advertised it. They casted soap actors and non-actors for example a grade school teacher, I'm not kidding this is a fact. These actors and actresses play characters that are shallow imitations and hybrids of the ones in Lost. For example there is that girl who is Verschollen's version of Shannon who has bumped like 70% of the male cast. There is the artist additionally an alcohol addict who is capable of making alcohol out of anything. A 4-headed family whom all of them survived the plane crash without any scratches. Rivaling siblings where one is good and the other downright evil who love the same wench. The token Turkish guy that can be blamed for everything and lastly the stupid goth brat who in reality acts more like a pampered snobbish rich girl.

The story starts with people in a plane that only one pilot flies (???) and he is starting to sleep or something. The people walk about in the plane as if they are on a school travel. The light flickers and the plane shakes in such a fashion like it got often parodied on "The Simpsons". The survivors get stranded on an island in the Atlantic ocean, the most traveled ocean in mankind, that nobody has ever found. In the daylight scenes the viewer gets blue-screened to death with blurry pictures of an ocean and mountains etc. The stuff that looks real seems like it came straight from a biotope.

The survivors accept their destiny and various months pass with just soap like stories happening like love and hate. The clever mix of adventure and mystery seen in Lost is non-existent here. As the show was in the middle of its run I stopped watching it as it became to insulting for my brain cells. Also there just wasn't anything really interesting to keep watching. You could have had the same simple-minded entertainment watching a soap but I don't want that! Shortly after (funnily one week before Lost aired in Germany) it was cancelled.

Mankind can only hope that RTL will keep that horrible show in the vaults and not show reruns of it on their countless "lesser" channels.

A few weeks ago the German broadcaster "SAT1" advertised this movie as the "TV-Event of the year" - sorry, but I've seen better things on TV this year.

I didn't thought much of the movie but I soon reminisced about two other horrible movies when I watched the commercial - namely Titanic and Pearl Harbor because the picture looked so familiar: The "heroine" (if I can really call her that) in the middle and her two "loved-ones" next to her - Pearl Harbor, anyone? In fact the love-story is a poor man's version of the one in Pearl Harbor and that one was already poor!

But as I like watching movies and analyzing their patterns I eventually decided to watch that rubbish. The movie begins with a doctor leaving his family for the military strike against Russia near the end of the Third Reich promising his wife that he will return. Now fast forward to Spring 1948: Germany lost the war and the allies & Russia captured the country and they both try to eliminate each other for world power and their ideologies: capitalism versus communism. Well, I guess you already know the story because you have to know it - The movie doesn't really bother with it so much and literally takes a dump on historical facts. The movie tries to depict the US government as angels and completely ignores the contribution of other countries during the airlift especially Great Britain who was responsible for nearly a quarter of the rations despite having their country bombed from a country that they're trying to help.

What was also pretty annoying were the historical remarks the people said in the movie like when the heroine's mother tells her daughter that Germany might be parted in two with a response like: "That's impossible!" Or when Stalin (where the director thought we just stick similarly looking mustache on the actor and he WILL look like him) says that Russia has to stop "Coca Cola" from spreading in Germany. Yeah right, if Stalin has ever said something like this. Or there is this one US pilot who tells his fellow of a bread with meat and everything possible in it - please! Burgers were invented WAY before that time.

In the movie you once see a map showing the airlines, funnily enough the map looks like it came straight out of a laser printer - in '48. The US general Lucius Clay who's main idea was to stay in Berlin is portrayed as a guy who is mean and grumpy and all the ideas he historically had like for example the airlift and improving on that idea came from the fictive character Phillip Turner, the love interest of the main actress which leads me to other aspects: Not enough African-American soldiers in the movie, there were like two in the whole film! Also relationships between US soldiers and German civilians was not allowed and by a revealing of such a relationship the US soldier would've been sent home. I don't want to say that there were no relationships at all but in this movie there was a couple that almost got married, If it wasn't for the death of the pilot in his fake CGI plane which looked terribly unrealistic especially the CGI fire!

If it wasn't enough all Americans in this movie spoke accent-free German although they only were in Germany for a couple of months - look I'm also American living in Germany for my whole life and even I have a little accent. Notably bad was also the child acting - the kids had like two expressions on their faces: "Normal-I-look-monotonous-like-a-robot" and grinning.

All in all the movie was boring from beginning to end moving way too slow especially the love story which was the same as the one in Pearl Harbor just with half of the dialogue. The sad part is that the movie was very successful - 8.97 millions watched the first part and 7.83 millions the second part the day after thus SAT1 receiving two consecutive wins in the overall market share and a whopping win in the commercial relevant group. But like I always think: The biggest pile of bull-crap is where the most flies go to.

I was in the video rental store with my friends and one of them suggested to rent this movie, he said: "this is better than 'Hausmeister Krause'", a German sitcom which also stars Tom Gerhardt. Well, I had no problem with it as I think that 'Hausmeiter Krause' is hilarious but I didn't knew how horrible this movie would turn out.

There are two beer addicts called Tommie and Mario, the latter who plays second fiddle most of the time but I didn't care about him because his acting was forgettable anyway. I paid more attention to Tom Gerhardt. To get a clue what his character is all about he is very similar to the Tommie character in the Hausmeister Krause sitcom but I have to sadly admit that this character fits more to an adolescent than some 40 year unemployed person because it seems unrealistic that someone this old can be so ridiculously stupid and the fact that this is unusual doesn't make it funny either.

The gags mostly range from slap-stick to one-liners, unfortunately neither both of them are funny most of the time. The movie is so often over the top that many odd scenes occur most of the time. Both of the main characters jump from a beach party to an hotel to the kitchen of a restaurant to an arena etc. etc. with no logical explanation how they've got there at all just to get some cheap childish jokes in.

So that more people watched the movie when it was in the theatres it has a big list of cameo appearances from German celebrities and actors; I still wonder how some of the more remarkable German actors could whore them out just to appear in this bad movie.

At last I suggest anyone to skip this movie that contains sheer stupidness and watch the way funnier sitcom Hausmeister Krause.

This is a classic mid-90's B-action-flick, it's so bad I thought at first it was made in 1985 because of the poor picture quality but I was surprised indeed, it's from 1995.

The movie starts out with a underdeveloped story of vampires and they kill some kid's father. The kid has actually some sort of curse on him, which is never explained any further how he eventually got it.

20 years later or so, he only needs to kill a dozen remaining vampires but unfortunately the police tries to capture him because they think he's a killer - no wonder when you're running around with a sawn-off shotgun like an idiot.

The hero, whose name is Jack Cutter, usually returns to his hideout which looks incredibly similar to the Highlander's one from the television series with the same elevator.

Cheesy scenes follow and follow, for example when Cutter sees a homeless person and gives him a little bag of raw meat out of his jacket. What the heck? It gets even funnier when you see fight scenes. The director obviously wanted to give them an heavy action feel so he hired a parkinson patient as a camera man. The result is that the sight shakes so immensely that it would make an epileptic burst out foam even through his nose.

Cutter also searches some vampires in the club, with his drawn shotgun, but the people dancing there didn't seem to care very much, oddly. And another shotgun obscurity is when he shot at an vampire, the camera angle switched back to the vampire for a short moment and then one second later you see him dual-wielding two pistols at him. Where did the shotgun go in all of sudden? There are even more of such scenes but are way too numerous to mention. The ending is really weird, in fact it does not even feel like an ending, it seemed that the movie would have another 2 or 3 minutes.

With a almost non-existing plot, bad actors, cheesy fight scenes, a main character who has only 15 lines in the whole movie, it's not too surprising that this movie can be considered garbage in every aspect, even fans who voted this movie a 10 out of 10 can't deny this. Only the unintentional humor saves it, though.

Where should I start? this is probably the question when the people wrote the script. The story just goes nowhere. After the 'so called' comedy "Down to you", Freddie Prince Jr. tortures us with another uninspired, boring, "I have to watch it through the ending just to bash it on IMDb"-Type movie, it's just terrible.

It rips off the cult film "When Harry met Sally". The two truly bad actors meet each other several times through the years and discuss every topic from A like relationships to Z like relationships. Nothing else happens in this movie and it's just painfully boring to watch Freddie Prince Jr. and Claire Forlani getting philosophical on each other. The directors actually thought this was entertaining and... funny. The comedy aspect is nowhere to be found. So they hired another terrible actor called Jason Biggs, you might heard of him, no what I'm talking about? Of course you heard of him, these days bad actors are more famous than good actors. He gets even more idiotic than in American Pie and leads to me shaking my head due to his clown behavior because I know there are many people who think that he's funny. Maybe I just haven't kept with the time and it's the new humor that I don't get, even though I'm only 20 years old.

It's very predictable how this movie ends, like all the other teen movies, so that the little girls can sleep well at night.

I suggest that you ignore this movie at all costs.

This is another one of these unoriginal plot action movies which too many exist of.

It's about some Bronx Thug and his police daddy moving to some silent and peaceful town. Well, this is an action movie, so the town isn't peaceful at all. The Bronx Thug, who kind of resembles Johnny Depp but unfortunately not his acting quality, is trapped in his new school because some terrorists captured it.

These terrorists plant bombs everywhere in the school with C4 written on them so that even the dumbest of a human being knows what the deal is. If the bad guys wish of having money or having an independent religious nation or whatever isn't fulfilled, they will launch a 'nuclear' rocket that is heading into a 'nuclear' power plant.

So what has more impact? Regular rocket into nuclear power plant or nuclear rocket into regular power plant? Probably the same, but having everything nuclear is just so silly that I couldn't stop laughing.

Eventually the rocket gets launched and I'll tell you this: If I would throw a pen in the air and film it, it most likely would look better.

This movie has more crap special effects and cheesy dialogue but I give this movie a 2/10 because it has some unintentional comedy value.

This movie is 'loosely' based on the real life story of two WNBA stars. I'll say loosely because there are so many clichés it's not even funny anymore.

the movie shows in the beginning that one of the girls who moved to a new town, trying to make new friends by lying about their prosperity etc.. She has a passion for acting but she is forced by her father (after one of these famous one on one games in which the people hit all their shots while the camera angle is always changed so that it looks like the ball went through although in reality it most likely didn't) to sign in for the basketball team so that she has a chance of going to college. Of course she's not very amused about that and a somewhat 'dramatic' scene follows, I guess.

In the first training she has to battle her sister for unknown reasons, maybe because she's jealous, I really don't know. Although I like basketball the game here is very boring to watch. All you see is the two sisters shooting field goals with changing camera angles like mentioned above. I already thought why the coach is saying nothing that they should pass the ball and then this happens: Nicki, the star of the team, wants to show these newbies who's the boss here and shoots for the 'first' time in the game after the sisters' 20-30 shots. But the coach complains that Nicki should be more aware of teamwork. How ironic, isn't it?

This movie shows more annoying clichés that I've seen in 100 other teen or sport movies like Nicki's father not attending the games or the popular high school sports star that every girl is in love with though he doesn't even look good in the first place. Some other things that totally flip me off that the people who made this movie actually have no clue of basketball rules. I've never seen in ANY basketball league in the world that a injured player can hop into the active roster, the opponents didn't even complain about this. In the end everything turns out to be good for everyone but they never mention anything what happened to the girl's passion for acting, not that I actually cared but why did they bring it up at all?

If you want to be totally bored or want to waste your time, this is the movie to go.