abandonsorder

OK, it's good but not great, especially unsatisfying when it's headed to the requisite poignancy. Seemed half-baked and experimental but needed complexity of resolution, sharpness, definition. The conclusion is bland. Just one reviewer's impression, but I would like to commend the filmmaker for providing another representation of a great sociological dysfunction: prejudice. I wish the product taught a stronger, more forceful lesson...a lesson like a kill-shot.

I've perused sundry downbeat reviews of "Kingsman: The Golden Circle", read the lot, and drearily trudged into the experience of viewing the sequel. Expectations were moderate, poise was relaxed, and bare feet were atop the coffee table. When the movie concluded, I felt my prognosis was shattered. The movie plays to the slow- motion, flip/flop/f*ck-em-up crowd that has kept many franchises afloat, but this brownie seems fully baked to decadence. The "Dukes of Hazzard meets Get Smart meets The Avengers (the Steed and Peel program)" vibe is affable now that James Bond has outlived his usefulness. I regret I wield the remorseless temerity to articulate that antipathy for 007, but the incontrovertible reality stands that "Kingsman" receives the crown and doesn't spoil the lineage for the British Espionage/Action genre. Bond has nestled into ennui. "Kingsman" succeeds with Julianne Moore as the villainess, perhaps conjured from a lost episode of the 1960s Batman TV program (minus the tilted frame). She's a goof, and she, too, is shameless. Channing Tatum's participation is peripheral; however, he proves integral to the future of the franchise. The movie is not quite "Big and Dumb" like those "Mission: Impossible" movies because it does not have an ego like Tom Cruise tainting the production. Colin Firth plays his role equitably, Mark Strong is meritorious, and even Jeff Bridges has a chuckle. They've earned their downtime as grander schemes await. "Kingsman: The Golden Circle" is simply a very good movie because it delivers on its promises of keeping you distracted with sugary breakfast cereal and John Denver songs so you don't notice that every other aspect of true life is not worth the waking moments. Watch the movie, then sleep. We'll wake you for "Geostorm"; I trust you wouldn't be able to sleep through that, anyway.

I'm a huge pro wrestling junkie (but not that WWE crapola), so I've a soft spot on my frame for this movie that spotlights the best & brightest of an era that today's hipster Cenaphiles would never appreciate honestly. "The Wrestler", for me, was hard to find online, as the movie's never been on TV in my neighborhood. Seeing it on "Amazon Prime" was a treat. An unrecognizable Ric Flair, a fledgling "Killer Bee"/"High Flyer" Jim Brunzell, a powerlifting Ken Patera, Crusher and Dick the Bruiser in brief yet humorous roles (Two of my absolute favorites), Verne Gagne who has formidable skill but the charisma of a damp paper towel, Nick Bockwinkel and Ray Stevens...the gang's all here. Movie's strictly for the nostalgiacs because the plot is thin. Nonetheless, it's an enjoyable throwback.

I'll just echo and augment previous reviews warning that the juicy bits (here, there, everywhere) only occur in the last ten minutes of the movie, the identity of the killer is unclear (with his motivation irritatingly muddy), and quite frankly these 'teens' should've worn name tags, because I couldn't ID one from any of the others. The only standout is the portly lawman who fires a bullet that explodes the villain's face. In this movie, the badge is given to the winner of the hot dog eating contest. The sole positive aspect of the movie is the melodramatic score which is maddeningly incongruent to the events unfolding.

The movie tumbled downstairs, laughing more hysterically with every baleful impact, then rose to its feet and walked casually into the wilderness. The creative team behind this movie did not do anything creative, did not "go weird but purposefully", and was actually so frenetically demented that the odyssey was humdrum. The movie is a monotonous, one-dimensional trick shot that keeps getting thrown but never goes through the hoop - just lands with a deflated FLUP! every time. BUMMER.

The late comedian Mitch Hedberg once told a joke about the concept of "based on a true story...", something like "I was the sole survivor of a plane crash, and that true story inspired me to write this movie about a gorilla."

Sometimes, I need to pretend a movie I am watching was made in another reality, another timeline, another splintered shard on a rhythm slightly atilt of our own rhythm, where Hollywood rules and regulations run half-baked and half-Xanaxed. Rigid maintenance of this ideology was the first reason I enjoyed "12 Feet Deep"...I kept expectations low and floated with the threadbare premise.

The second reason I enjoyed this movie was I was forced to endure "Rough Night" and survived THAT experience by mentally writing "Rough Night 2: Sawed Off" in which the female protagonists found themselves trapped in the Saw franchise.

I do not enjoy unresolved endings from movies that CLEARLY will not warrant a sequel or movies that go back into the box to be returned to the Plot line Factory. Those seeking Bruce Willis' illustrious return to greatness should seek other avenues of delight. Bruce does not redeem past transgressions with this movie; it reeks of his egocentric predilections that shall etch his epitaph in the Hollywood Book of the Dead. The movie is also loaded with several faces from the "Whatever Happened to...?" bin, particularly five seconds of an unfunny, useless cameo from a certain "Scream" veteran. Jason Momoa did not need this movie on his resume; besides, his exaggerated role is offensive. Bad movie.

I discovered this movie while searching for cinema related to nuclear war. Wikipedia led me by the horns to this hysterically inept production. I microwaved the popcorn and didn't cringe for a second of the wanton bloodshed. CGI-sore in every grab, stab, mauling, and mutilation. A horror show of a horror movie but not as bad as Disney's "Frozen". Now THAT movie's a diggity-dang NIGHTMARE. "Summer of Massacre" gets a mediocre rating for ambition. Warren Zevon might've liked it.

**I write short reviews.**

The movie started with a crooked smile but lazily rests into grooves forged by USA Network shows like "Psych", "Monk" and "Royal Pains". Since the cancellation of "Monk", I haven't found a reason to watch the USA Network. Jeff Garlin leaves tremendous unexplored territory. Natasha Lyonne is impossible to enjoy. Steven Weber parodies himself, feebly. Altogether, the movie's prospect for zaniness settled into pedestrian fare.

...I couldn't refine my sensibilities to ignore the movie when I saw the title. Several characters resembled the lost youth in my neighborhood; I stayed with the movie out of pity. The antagonist is not explained, but I don't think plausibility could justify this production. T&A from kids whose parents are completing the name-change paperwork as I type these words. Dull.

SPOILER: The movie lasts an hour. The bloopers last ten minutes. I last saw that imbalance in a Dana Carvey movie. YIKES.

Captivating, entrancing, invigorating, stylish, bleak...but the ending was atrocious. I'm sorry to say the conclusion is weak. I was ready to forgive Anne H. for her Catwoman and Havoc roles. Everyone gave up on this production at the most critical moment. A harsh blow to my expectations. Sputter-sputter-sputter-wheeze-die.

*SPOILER: I write brief reviews.*

"I've seen this episode of 'The Twilight Zone', but..." I said this constantly as I watched this movie. I understand the appreciation for Serling's masterfully (well, mostly masterfully) written TV show; however, I was disappointed that the terrain of this movie never veered beyond the apparent homage. I felt the movie was limited to the homage and should have been...dare I say it? yeah...KOOKIER.

Very good, just not great.

I felt the reckless misanthropes in this production were being jabbed with spears by the Green Slime Invaders of Omega Seven - "say something moderately droll and audacious! attempt valiantly yet express stridently! increase your snark!" "The Comedy" is the ideal movie for the cheerfully suicidal and a lovely caress of the external occipital protuberance of anyone who actually expected...well, ANYTHING from this movie.

Steve Brule should have been hurled into the mixture. Yes, a gratuitous 'Adult Swim' reference has egg-splatted the review. The producers of this movie are firmly attuned to the beat of this mild, self-aware experiment of gymnastic warfare called daily livin'. It's a gas. Start the car and let go.