m-skee

I am a huge SyFy movie fan. I watch all of them repeatedly with glee. They are awful, predictable, and highly entertaining. You can always count on the bad acting, cheap sets, and laughable plot lines. And then there was Megalodon. This movie was so bad it physically hurt me to watch it. You could tell they absolutely gave up when making this garbage. First off, I was in the Army, which means I am contractually obligated to make fun of the Navy. This movie, through ignorance or hatred, took it to a reprehensible level. They made the Navy out to be a group slovenly, disrespectful, moronic asholes. They didn't even try to make any view of the ship realistic. It was so bad that they even used an unpainted plastic model of a ship in a tub for the remote shots.

The plot line with the Russian submarine was so ludicrous it was unwatchable. You couldn't even apply the "suspend all disbelief" adage to make it better. While on the run from a huge deadly shark the captain thinks it's more important to waste time interrogating the Russian survivor as to why they were "down there". Really? Who cares! Lock them up and move on. Then the completely irrational and irresponsible Russian captain somehow takes out his armed guard commando style while his hands are tied behind his back. He then proceeds to basically take over the ship.

Then we have the mutiny when the slob of an admiral tries to take control of the ship, they end up locking him in his quarters and then forgetting about him when they abandon ship! Luckily they did so, as he ends up saving the day by first killing the Russian Captain then waiting for the Meg in the engine room. Fortuitously the shark buries it's head in that exact room when it attacks. So we are treated to the admiral's pithy words and he puts his cigar out on the shark's nose and blowing up the ship. This was after we had to endure the line of people arguing to be the one to "go down with the ship". Did I mention that the brilliant abandon the ship plan involved putting the entire crew in 5 little escape boats directly after the shark ate the submersible floating in the water? Maybe the real plan was to feed the shark so much that it fell into a food coma?

The above was just a sampling of the examples I could have used. I truly hope you got the message. Don't watch this movie. It has no redeeming qualities. SyFy crossed the line with this one.

This is a movie that could've been. It had all the elements; decent budget, good cinematography, semi original basic plot, and solid B cast. That's better than most horror movies have to start with. Ultimately it fails to come together. The plot gets too murky, it becomes more of a ghost mystery instead of a scary horror. The detective character is completely useless to the plot and it left me wondering why he was even there. Same with the mortician's wife. Neither added to the story nor the scare factor.

The dull bluish color of the film got old pretty fast. It made everything fade together, it was too muted. It didn't really fit the movie. Maybe it could've been effective if it had been used only during the flashbacks?

I just found myself underwhelmed and thinking about what could've been.

When you watch these types of shows you know you need to suspend your disbelief to be able to enjoy it. But this episode didn't even try to make the second "experience" believable. It was so dang cliched I expected her to say the Devil popped out of the floor and it was red and holding a pitchfork. Nobody else saw anything, conveniently. Then after she almost has a complete mental break down demanding her husband get home Right Now! She leaves him in bed and goes downstairs alone to play on her computer. To make it even more ridiculous, after this traumatic event of the dartboard having three darts in the 6, she decides to go to sleep on the couch! Alone! Then "The Witch" comes and hovers over her, she thinks she's going to die, finally screams and the witch disappears. That's it. That was the big scary. I now understand the saying, " I can't even". If you're going to make up a story you should try a little harder.

I couldn't decide if the filmmakers were going for a horror movie or a comedy. Either way it failed. This movie is a straight up gore-fest. It takes an hour of film to get to the farm, then 31 minutes of killings or people trying not to die.

The reason I thought it might be a comedy or them trying to spoof 80/90's horror films were the characters. Super duper stereotypical 20 somethings (who are played by much older actors). The men are aggressive mouth breathers and the girls are dumb as a box of rocks. It was over-the-top. The acting was fine but the script made it hard to care about any of the characters. Then there were the killings. I saw some new and inventive ways for people to die. And they actually did it, the writer killed a guy by cutting off his donkey dick and shoving it down his throat. So much wow. We get to see the wounded groin area so that was nice...

When we finally get down to the last girl, Tara Reid, we are treated to 10 minutes of her sneaking around, finding rotted corpses, and trying to escape. It was a lot of heavy breathing and gagging by Tara. In the mine it was kind of dark so the corpses weren't as horrifying as they could've been. It was a relief from the usual lone girl portion of the movie in that Tara wasn't running around screaming.

Spoiler Alert Everybody dies except Charlie

I wouldn't recommend it but if you're bored it'll help pass the time.

I originally decided to watch this movie simply because of the numerous and obvious fake reviews. I wanted to tear them apart knowledgeably. But I'll be darned, I ended up liking this stupid movie.

At first I didn't know what to make of it. As a horror movie it sucked. But I clued in once Sasquatch started playing with the lights and sirens in the sheriff's car. My hunch solidified when I watched the old medicine man Crustyfoot interview to join the local tribe (I mean the questions were hilariously random). It's a total spoof of the 70's and 80's era Bigfoot movies. Lines like, "the earth troubles me this evening old man" and "No, not Clarence! Why God?", were delivered with a straight face. (The Deputy Clarence referenced was played by an English actor with an over the top hick accent, an IQ of 32, and irritable bowel syndrome.). The dad was played by Billy from Gremlins and he cracked me up. The son was perfect. Actually all of the acting was just horrible but you could tell it was done on purpose and it was done exactly right. Although I could've done without the ex wife character, she was just annoying and unnecessary.

The absolute best part was the Sasquatch. This was no lone Bigfoot running around, there were large groups of Bigfeet all over the place! And the suits!!! O. M. G. They were awesome! Imagine giant size Ewoks with ZZ Top beards. To perfect the look they took the facial expressions straight from Harry and The Hendersons. It was awesome.

The plot was simple. Dad and son go to the cabin for some hunting. You have the Indians (who live in teepees), the locals (who live in a shantytown out of the Wild West ), and "The Law" consisting of Sheriff Horace and Deputy Clarence. They are all shown with exaggerated stereotypical flair. The monsters come down from their caves to enact justice on the white man. Father and son try to survive.

Filming was professional, you could see everything even during the night scenes, sound was even, you could understand everybody even with the come and go accents, and the location looked good.

Don't go into this expecting horror or jump scares, you'll be disappointed. Just remember it's a parody, it won't give you straight up comedy. But you will be amused.

So, while the reviews are still totally fake, this movie ended up being pretty ok. I'd call it a solid 5/10.

The "professional" camera man coughed the entire time!!! It was the most annoying freaking thing I have ever heard! It's worse that he's right on the mic! ARG!

Ok, now that I've got that (mostly) out of my system, now on to the rest.

1 hour and 22 minutes in NOTHING has happened. Just a group of supposed nonbelievers arguing over how whatever (non) scary thing just happened was staged, not staged, or didn't happen. They talk/argue about each incident for-freaking-ever. For example, is there a person standing off in the distance? (That one happened twice). Sadly we can't join the debate since we can't SEE a thing. It's pitch black any time they're outside. What you can see from the shaky handcam night vision are up close faces and backs of heads...sometimes.

At 1 hour and 35 minutes things start to happen. Many of the scenes are obviously edited in as they are from a better camera, scrambled a bit to try to make them blend in (fail). Someone (no clue who he is) gets killed and it's on camera but nobody seems to notice? He's killed by the "real" ghost mailman that the handheld shaky night vision cameras have focused on several times but nobody noticed!? The times he's caught on camera aren't the scary, out of the corner of your eye, there and gone appearances. No these are random 'focus on the guys face for 4-5 seconds as we all just sit there' types. Basically the exact opposite of scary (which is boring).

After a scream in the night our 'contestants', who've been calm till now, start to run around screaming, and a few are randomly killed within a 2 minute window. The already crappy film work gets even WORSE. It then cuts to the plump girl giving the "how you doin" eyes and smile to a ghost who eye flirts back aaaand end. What the actual fruck was that?!

It doesn't say if parts were a set up as we assume, it doesn't explain why ghosts who've never harmed anyone in 100 freaking years start killing. It doesn't show what happens to the other 10+ people who were there.

We got 90 minutes of an annoying documentary then 5 minutes of blurry night vision killings. Seriously WTF!? That was in addition to the annoying yet forgettable characters who just talk, talk, talk. Horrible "professional", handcam, and/or night vision camera work. Too dark to see scenes. NO plot. Sound quality so bad I could only make out half of what they were saying, and that was only when all of them weren't talking at the same time. NO scares. It simply made no sense. Even by low budget crappy horror film script standards this one sucks.

Yeah, so, I hated that movie.

I should have read deeper into the reviews before watching the movie. Fully 1/3 of the dialogue was in Polish with no subtitles. It made it extremely annoying, I felt like I was missing something. If the villagers had been talking amongst themselves in the distance it would've been better. But the in your face scenes that just went on and on in Polish completely took me out of the movie, it took me longer and longer to tune back in once they switched back to English.

Here's the kicker, it would have been a pretty good movie otherwise. Yes, the lead actress was wooden. Yes, the intern was simply a body. But the guy and the villagers were great! The fog was spooky and the demon statue was excellent. The filming was good, no shaky cam or weird angles. There were no sound issues, it was even throughout. And it was well lit.

I enjoyed the plot and really liked the twist at the end.

I just really wish it had all been in English.

Just a warning for those who were sucked in by the incorrect information listing this as an English speaking movie. Yes, sometimes they do speak English, then it will randomly switch to French with subtitles. It was so distracting I gave up after 21 minutes. I read books when I want to read and I watch movies to watch the movie. It wasn't interesting enough to even try to continue.

I'd call this one Above Average for a recent horror movie. Easy plot, Extreme Haunted House run by murderous body modification aficionados. Typical cast of 20-somethings enter, who will survive? The things that elevate this movie are as follows.

1. No annoying characters and the acting is not bad at all 2. Well lit, even the darker scenes were easy to see 3. Even sound quality 4. Good camera work, no shaking or weird angles 5. No running around screaming like an idiot 6. Bad guys with great costumes who look like bad guys 7. No superhuman bad guys, these characters act like normal people who take killing seriously 8. The Haunted House is well set up for killing fields 9. Plenty of gore but it wasn't overdone 10. Great escape sequence 11. Extremely satisfying ending It's worth a watch.

Seriously I spent the first part of the movie just staring at Jessica's eyebrows. You have to watch the movie just to see them. A blind 3 year old with Parkinson's could have drawn them on better. I normally wouldn't care/comment on such a trivial thing but holy rusted metal Batman they were bad.

The rest of the movie was worse. So many plot holes and TSTL moments added just to drag it out. I have some examples that are probably ****SPOILERS**** so read on if you don't care.

They spend two days getting to the murder house, walking, getting lost, camping... why didn't they just DRIVE UP THE ROAD that led straight to the house?

Then the interchangeable male #2 bravely escapes his bonds, grabs an axe, makes it to the (one of many) doors to the outside, finds it locked, and just walks away. It's a WOODEN door, he has an AXE, you do the math. He wanders around forever just to stand there and get killed (he does comeback later to help girl escape only to get killed again, so that was great).

All the other reviews mention the dumb guy with the gun, boy that whole section could've been taken out and it wouldn't have been missed. My favorite part was when he showed up he did so by pushing the gun barrel into the girl's head. He KNOWS the evil dude is in the next room and he decides to take the time to terrorize a teen girl? Winner!

The first "ending" was also ridiculous. She makes it to the road, after we watch her run forever, falls to her knees, and immediately a car comes. Random farmer guy shows up and now we get to watch them drive...forever. It turns to night and he pulls into some wooded area, turns off the car and decides to walk back to a house he saw a bit back. Why not DRIVE back to the house? Why drive all day if he's lost? Why not try the cell phone at some point? Nope, just stand there and get killed.

The "heroine" really was the most bland character ever. But she took face hits like a champ.

Overall the only thing this movie had was blood and gore. That's it. No plot. No actual acting. And no identity. Was it supernatural? Serial killer? Nature documentary? I watched it all and I have no clue.

I recommend watching the first 10 minutes just to see the eyebrows.

I'm more of a hater rater, a crusader warning others about horrible films, saving the unwary, you get the idea. So it takes something extra for me to write a positive review. This movie was great. I can see the issue other reviewers had, it's all about the labeling. It's not a traditional gore-fest or jump scare horror, but it does qualify as a horror (I'm talking about those famous last 10 minutes). It's also has Suspense, Mystery, Supernatural, and Thriller elements. With a helping of dark comedy thrown in. Everything we learn in the first part of the movie is all tied in at the end. If you actually pay a little bit of attention you'll catch all the threads and how they connect. I loved the characters, the actors were awesome. The plot was fully realized and made sense. Film quality was really good, it seamlessly transitioned between the hand cams and the traditional filming. I hate "shaky cam" and found footage movies, so for this not to bug me you know it's well done. I could see everything so it wasn't too dark. And sound quality was even throughout.

The final sequence was perfection! It's killing me not to give spoilers but you need to experience it unbiased. The use of the OTT cgi was totally intentional and it was what I didn't know I needed. I may have even cheered a bit.

Don't listen to the negative nellies, don't read any spoilers, just watch it. Keep an open mind and enjoy the ride.

As to the formatting mentioned in the first review, mine was fine, zero issues. May be a case of operator error?

The movie itself was pretty solid for a low budget one. I did have issues with the "scary" scenes being filmed too dark to really see what's going on. And the sound really jumped up as a scare tactic, which I hate. The plot seemed to copy several different movies but the ending twists were somewhat original. The plot was complete, no holes that I noticed. The acting was not bad, I believed the characters. It was just missing that something to make it a really good movie. It was a fine filler movie to watch. It didn't annoy me so that's a big plus.

I can't believe how many reviewers are taking this movie seriously. It's not supposed to be good horror, it's imitating good (and bad) horror. The entire thing was made up of bits and pieces taken from other movies. It poked fun at those same movies. Halloween 5: The Curse of Michael Meyers, The Fog, The Thing, My Bloody Valentine, among many others.

Don't get me wrong, it still sucked, but I think you should at least understand it before you rip it apart.

I haven't read the story and I probably won't. This is probably why I enjoyed the movie so much. I found it annoying to read the "the book is way better than the movie" reviews, seriously we all know the book is always better. Get over it already.

If I'm ever in a horror movie I want to be Randolph Carter, he was awesome! Best character ever. The movie had a great plot, the story moved right along, the acting was above average for this type of movie, and the sound levels were spot on.

This was 80's gold and I definitely recommend it.

Why do I torture myself with these crap Italian horror movies? Well, this was definitely the last one I'll watch. Every character was annoying. The constantly screaming mom, the Chucky doll looking 8 year old (?) son, and the dismissive new hubby.

Here's the entire movie so you don't have to watch it.

Hubby moves family back into the house mom shared with dead hubby. She's not happy about it. He's been gone 7 years, we know this because it took 7 years to have him legally declared dead so they could get married. Apparently he was lost at sea or was a suicide, it's not clear. Mom had a breakdown at the time and was committed for 6 months, like every female in these Italian movies, she gets hysterical and has problems with her "nerves". Hubby is a pilot so he's gone a lot, leaving mom alone with son. Now right off the bat sonny is possessed by dear old dead dad. We know this because he sets out to drive mom crazy, and there is this extremely awkward scene where son dry humps mom on the ground imitating the sex scene between mom and hubby on the couch. Gross. Things escalate, mom wants to get the fudge out of the house (I guess even she got tired of all the hysterical screaming and running around) but new hubby thinks she's just having an episode and imagining everything, such a wonderfully supportive guy... finally son brings mom a crayon drawing showing how she killed first hubby. She freaks, cue dream memory in psychedelic style where dead hubs is injecting her with heroin and she slashed his throat. New hubby reassures her she didn't kill him, it's all made up, and not to worry about it. The director tries really hard to make the viewer wonder if she did it or not. We'd been directed to look at a brick wall in the basement randomly throughout the movie so we think dead hubs is walled up there and he's mad about it. But how did he get in there? Well that's the twist. After hubby gives her a pill to calm down and sleep she wakes and has more hysterics involving the son turning into dead looking dad. She hears noise from basement, goes down there, and finds new hubby knocking down the brick wall. Turns out that 7 years ago he found her covered in blood over the dead body of original hubby and decided to cover it all up because he loved her. He walled up the body. He was glad she had the amnesia and breakdown so she wouldn't feel guilty because dead hubs was a horrible drug addicted jerk. So he waited (new hubs sounds like an obsessed stalker type) 7 years, then moved them back into the house so he could removed the body and dump it into the sea, hoping if it's ever found the fake story will be believed. He wouldn't let her sell the house because he was worried the body would be found. I'm unclear as to why he had to wait 7 years to dispose of the body, why he had to move them into the house before removing it, or why he couldn't have done it while the house was empty for the last 7 years, but whatever. He's explaining all of this to mom while they're in front of the hole in the wall. He still doesn't believe her that something is going on. A noise comes from the hole, she really freaks out and demands he not touch the body, he ignores her (of course) and moves to the hole. Second twist. Mom totally loses it and kills him. Then stuffs him in the hole. Then the wardrobe walks ver to her and opens up. It holds the utility knife she used to kill hubs, she takes it, and slashes her own throat. Wonderful resolution right there. We end with the obviously now psychotic son having a tea party outside in the sun with the invisible dead dad.

The movie was annoying, the cinematography was nothing special, and the soundtrack never matched up 100%. And who thought the stupid music box piano music was spooky? I mean they must have really loved it since it played constantly.

It's not worth viewing, I recommend skipping this one.

Absolutely nothing happens in this movie. You'd think with the split personality plot at least one of them could be fully realized, but alas no. It wasn't supernatural, slasher, horror, or suspense.

The best way to describe it would be this. You know how in a horror movie you yell at the characters for doing stupid things and if they'd just listen to you they'd live? Well this would be the result if they did listen. And boy does that make for a boring movie.

We get way more character development than plot. I truly could not care less about their 1st world, woah is me, Gen X problems. In fact it made me hate them. I was severely disappointed that none of them died. The prank that went on way too long wasn't scary, it was annoying. The almost slasher next door neighbor thing went no where and took a total of 10 minutes. Maybe less time spent complaining in the script and more time developing the creepy chain people up storyline it would've been a better movie. Well, probably not, it was pretty stupid. I mean even the ending just blah-ed all over the screen. And where did college friend go at the end?

I would've given it one star but the actual filming wasn't bad, it was just wasted on this film.

This movie is like oatmeal, bland and boring. Skip it.

Yup, it's a low budget indie style movie. No it doesn't have all the bells and whistles you get with blockbusters. But it does a pretty good job with what it has.

I am a hater of movies where the same guy writes, directs, and stars in it. So it was surprising that I kinda liked this one.

The script is ok, the story flows. There were no extraneous plot lines to confuse the issue. The characters have backstories that make you like them, told through the movie, not all dumped at once. The acting is way better than these movies usually have. Not Oscar worthy but a big step above beginners. Well, the goth girl was a bit stilted. There were no continuity issues nor were there plot holes.

There is one sex scene, at the beginning. It was well done and not porn like. It was used to show the frowned upon relationship between a college student and the TA. It also gives us the tie in to the opening sequence and the boy who survived. It was done without shoving it in your face.

The filming was also surprising. No shaky cam, weird angles, or bad transitions. It was shot at night but even the low light scenes were lit enough to see easily. The sound was even throughout and you could easily understand the dialogue.

It opens with a couple in a car arguing about being lost, the guy finally pulls over, but it's in a bad spot. The boy, who's birthday it is, is saved by a passing driver. It moves to the present where we have the Teaching Assistant and student in her room, sex, they are in love. She's a bit bratty (but redeemed slightly later). Meet goth girl roommate. They have a final project to do about urban legends. Brat ropes TA into their group which included nerd boy (cutie). Goth girl's sister comes. All head to Joshua Tree for the Rake legend. Camping scene, Rake makes on screen appearance (you can actually see it, not just an indistinct blur. Car won't start (Brat left radio on and door open, ooops). Little sister is dragged off. The rest are rescued by a crazy local. At his house they're safe due to lots of lighting. Crazy's backstory, bro taken by Rake 30 years ago. Script does a good job of keeping things smart until the random car shows up. Here they get a case of the stupids and go outside, it works out but the stupids are contagious. Nerd goes to charge phone, it overloads the circuits, the lights go off, and things go down hill fast after that. I liked the little twist at the end.

So as you can see, you get a standard horror movie done on a low budget. Overall it was an okay way to pass some time. As a bonus it didn't annoy the poop out of me.

I did it, I made it to the end! I wish I hadn't. It was a typical low budget stinker, which I expected going in. The script was just awful. Half of it was names, if I never hear "Sofia" again it'll be too soon. Nobody uses names that many times in simple conversations. Then you have this powerful witch who is scared off by a "farmer" with a toy shotgun. Really? And did we really need all the hospital and police scenes? This movie needed to be edited for content. The special effects were very high school-ish. The pacing was slooooooooow. There were NO scares or suspense.

The main actress overacted everything, and her voice has a screech quality that sounds like nails on a chalkboard. The movie dragged on forever! When you thought it was over it went on to Act II. There should NOT have been a second act. It was twice as bad as the first part. And completely unnecessary!

Skip this movie, you will regret watching it. Bottom line, it was BORING, and did I mention it dragged on forever?

This movie is only 45 minutes long, but the slow pace makes it seem longer. Honestly not much happens. There aren't really any scares or suspense. The acting wasn't the best but it wasn't as horrible as I expected it to be. Sound quality was good but it didn't help when the daughter was speaking, I couldn't understand her (probably due to the extra teeth). I didn't find the ending satisfying as it left the story open. Overall I found the movie boring.

But I felt I needed to counteract the anger fueled one star ratings. It's amazing how people flip out when presented with a subject matter that shows a different worldview than their own. No, I'm not Catholic but I do have an open mind. In this case we have a movie about the soul/spirit of an unborn child protecting its family and fighting for a chance to live. I thought it was actually a pretty unique spin on a supernatural movie. I wouldn't call it a horror movie, more of a mystery really. It is visually pleasing, the sound is great, and it has a fully realized plot. Unfortunately it has an extremely slow pace made worse by the acting of the daughter. As I'm sure you've read in every single review her acting was the low point of the movie. I feel bad for her, she never should have been cast and I blame the adults for putting her in this position. It almost seems like she's on the autism scale. Bottom line, no, the movie is not as bad as the hysterical close minded reviewers would have you believe. I've seen much worse movies with better ratings. It was watchable but not memorable.

Whoever wrote this should be checked into a mental health program. It was a confused mess of random themes and plots. It is definitely not horror nor is it scary in any possible way. There is no resolution whatsoever. It ends abruptly and you're left wondering what the heck you just watched, and not in a good way. It's a guy, with two other people who may or may not be real, wandering around a closed down asylum. Sometimes it's the modern, dark, abandoned building, then it will change to a brand new looking facility like the guy was transported back in time. It starts with an investigation into why the facility was closed but that plot gets forgotten about. Then it's about ghosts or not ghosts. Then maybe it's about suicide. Finally it may be about Alzheimer's. We never find out! The whole thing looks like it could've been in the guys head...or not. The one theme that does stretch through this boring mess was religion is bad because even if you pray God doesn't give you what you want. Huge eye roll there. Total and complete waste of time.

I'm not a quitter, so I forced myself to finish this horrendously bad movie. Boy do I regret it. As the previous reviews state, the characters are horrible people, each in their own stereotypical way. I think the writer has deep seated hatred for the film industry, it's the only explanation. The premise is that of a struggling (pathetic and poor) documentary crew being hired to film a "making of" for a low budget horror movie. They then stumble into making the worst ghost hunting found footage movie of all time. They do so by putting up two cameras they promptly forget about and wander around lost for an hour. Random shadows and ghosts (?) are caught on those cameras, alone, and doing nothing. We are supposed to believe these unknown ghosts are doing all the killin but every death is off camera. It's boring, there are no scary parts, and no redeeming features. Just annoyingly stupid awful people wandering around the same three hallways until they're killed. You won't notice if you never watch it.

You can debate the to torture or not to torture issue forever. There will never be a "correct" answer. Kill two to save millions? Again, there will never be an agreement over it. Every single person has a line they won't cross, but you will never truly know where your line is until you are placed in a situation that requires you to cross it. So save your theoretical debate about imaginary lines for your philosophy class. This movie was over the top ridiculous in so many ways. Sure it got the good ole debate going, but it was lazy filmmaking. All the build up with no resolution. Wrapped up in the easy way out or "thought provoking" non-ending. By not providing an ending the movie itself proves there is no true answer to the question you all are debating. Did he tell the truth? Were there only three bombs? Did he give the real locations? Was H correct and there was a fourth bomb? Did it explode? I wish some writer/director would make a choice. Answer just one question and show your opinion on the debate.

This is a movie about nothing. Not one thing happens. I suppose I'm just not refined, or pretentious, enough to enjoy sitting through an artsy film mislabeled as a horror movie. I see all the other low ratings and completely agree with them, with one exception, and this is the actual spoiler.

The son never came home.

Would you like more of an explanation? It's simple, the eons of time we spent watching Leon bumble around the house almost being scared never actually happened. It was all imagined by the spirit/soul/ghost of his crazy dead mother who narrates the entire movie. There are red herrings aplenty with the dad's suicide (nice photo of the bridge he jumped off of in the entry btw), the Angel Cult, the death twins, the contacting the dead book/tape, the strange Gollum looking creature, and the houseful of random junk. None of it means a thing, nor is there a resolution if you're looking for one.

To sum up, this is a movie about nothing.

I saw the one star reviews, I thought I was prepared, I just needed a movie to pass some time. Turns out those reviewers were understating the negatives. The script obviously called for the dumbest characters ever to grace the screen. And by golly these actors delivered. The horrible acting only enhanced the annoyance factor. We have the cocaine using bad guy. How do we know he uses cocaine? Because he CONSTANTLY and loudly sniffed right into the mic. Then there is the main female who cannot speak without arguing or being contradictory. About EVERYTHING. She just has to be right. She has to be in charge. And she was dumb as a box of rocks. It kills me that she was the only survivor. This is one movie where you hope they all die. There isn't one single person to root for. The zombies were doused with flour and ketchup and set free. The one scene I actually laughed at was near the end when the zombie hoard is chasing after the girl, the more fit ones were at the front and running, the fatter and older ones were at the back shuffling along. The best part was they'd obviously been told to limp but they were all limping on the same leg. The Big Bad Bill got the best of the worst make up, it definitely looked caked on. I wonder how much he got paid because he just stood around not talking. He was about as boring as a bad guy could be. After one guy is bitten they keep him around as they had never ever seen a zombie movie, even after he puked up his internal organs and began speaking in a "demonic" voice. It was only after he chewed the fingers off cocaine dude that they finally gave up on him. That was another super duper annoying thing, the repetitive dialogue that included some variation of "We're not leaving so and so". About every single character! Even the cowardly guy who ran off. It rotated who was saying it and who was arguing against it. Give me a break, it became absurd. This is probably the reason they simply didn't leave no avoid all the killin's. The director apparently thought he was shooting an art piece. Weird angles, random filters, and it stayed at sunset for the entire film. Oh boy, I almost forgot about the music! I mean when you think of a Western Ghost Town Zombie movie, with a Civil War era bad guy what kind of soundtrack do you imagine? Yup, heavy metal, it makes perfect sense. And they must have paid extra to have the band write a song specifically for the movie. You know how I know? Because it was the name Bill screamed over and over again set to heavy metal music. It was fabulous. Ok, now I understand why the other reviewers couldn't fully convey how horrendous this movie really is, it takes too long to type it all out. So to summarize; bad script, bad acting, bad directing, no horror, no scares, no thrills, absurd soundtrack, annoying characters, and finally they had the nerve to have the lone survivor literally walk off into the sunset.