Hirnklops

I still remember the General... Nice Jaw, nice overall look. That, and that it was stupid. Very stupid. Bad acting (not as bad as in movies like "Abscent of Light" or "Goth", but stupid), bad music, bad story, lots of gore and goofy characters.

Seriously, the movie is meant to be comedic, or how else could you interpret a wrestling match between a senior citizen and a midget? A plate-throwing dwarf? The grannies and grandpas getting ready for war? The colorful comic - like look? This one never wanted to be taken serious, and as long as you don't, you might enjoy it. If you are indeed looking for a deeper sense or some kind of message, you're completely lost.

Then again, if you dislike cheap splatter movies, why did you even rent it?

Okay, I rented this because I got my crush on all the 80's cannibal and zombie flicks. It's always nice to have some movie to switch off your brain and enjoy people being eaten, may the acting be bad and the plot be worse.

So, what have we got? Two hot chicks? Check. The crazy dude? Check. The cool dude? Check. Deserted Island? Check. Stupid plot? Check. Stupid dialogs? Check. Cool shots of the landscape? Check. A very gory scene right at the beginning? Well... No. Random gratuitous breast shots? No. Overuse of gore? No.

What the hell is this supposed to be? A few skulls placed on rocks and some people with white paint in the face don't make no cannibal movie. There's no suspense, no gore, no humor, no nudity, and no plot whatsoever. And it doesn't have a message in some political way or something like that. It's a movie who just doesn't get going, and once it does, it's over.

The acting is pretty decent, and the camera work is very nice at times. But that's about it. If you wanna see a REAL cannibal movie, go get "Cannibal Holocaust" or one of the early 80s movies the Italians did. They are indeed BAD, but, hey... At least they're gory!

Now I don't hate cheap movies. I just don't see why you should waste any money for a movie you could shoot with your dad's camcorder. If I rent a movie, I want it to be a MOVIE, not a bunch of people thinking it would be a good idea to waste some MiniDV - Tapes.

Maybe I hate this one so much because the guy in the video store said it was great, and it wasn't. Maybe I hate it because it's cheap, has the dumbest plot EVER, the most unrealistic characters EVER and the really, really, really WORST SHOWDOWN in the history of films EVER. Even Tom Savini can't save this.

Seriously, this one is a complete waste of time.

First, I didn't know what to think about it, later I decided that it, well... sucked.

The movie starts as any "old school" Poltergeist - Movie would start, with shaking doors, strange old people acting even stranger, and a very big house with a very dark secret. Basically, there's enough to create your state of the art horror movie with the typical new age Hollywood gore effects (but just one per movie) and classic shock scenes... And it turns out to be just another mystery thriller. With the problem being that for a thriller it lacks the thrill, and for a horror movie it lacks the horror.

All in all, a unbelievably boring movie, which is saved from being complete crap by some decent acting on the part of Hudson, and a very nice finish.