legonerdy

This movie is absolutely ludicrous. Not only is every character stupid, the entire concept is painful. I am in physical pain from the the utter stupidity of this premise. On top of that I absolutely abhor ASMR. That's a personal gripe, but I know I'm not the only one.

Asha is such a desperate, unintelligent, one-dimensional caricature of a teenager. Every teen in this movie is a shallow cardboard cutout of a person. All of the parents in this movie are absolutely ridiculous. One or two is believable, but an entire town of parents is insane.

There is not a single redeeming quality to this movie. It's not interesting enough to be a fun watch, it's not REMOTELY good, so there's really no reason to waste your time. I watched it so you don't have to.

Amazing atmosphere and stage setting. Good acting on all parts - great for Florence Pugh. Fascinating direction. The problem comes in the execution of the story. The script is hot garbage and the film made from that script is worse on account of all that it squanders. Things start too early, answers come too late, and those answers are painfully stupid. I'd hate to spoil this movie for anyone, but the simple fact is I would be saving you two hours of your life.

Here's your warning.

The fact that the whole movie is a simulation that they are all put into somehow is the dumbest explanation to this set up I can think of. What is the point of enslaving the women in the simulation? They can just make kids out of thin air, so why not wives for these incels? Why does Chris Pine's character say he's been "waiting for someone to challenge him" when that means the collapse of the system? If he's the leader of a cold-war-era Men's Only cabal a la Handmaid's Tale, this might make sense, but the mere act of realizing the truth causes a collapse of the simulation, so he definitely does not want to be challenged. Why?

There is so much more, but this review can't go on too long. Every one of the three stars is for set-up and how hard Florence Pugh carried this movie.

AHS could barely make good stories when they had entire seasons, and these are single episodes. It's mostly garbage with some good looking icing. Every star I give is for production value only. The stories are terrible and the amount of self-adoration that comes from the fact that HALF of the season was just referencing Murder House displays the true artistic bankruptcy of this show.

This spoke to me on a personal level. I'm not going to say it was perfect by any means, but it was REALLY good.

Negatives: The narration was a bit much, honestly. The art style was a little confused. The fact that he subtitles referred to anything vaguely Chinese as "soft traditional music" was reductive.

Positives: The art style was expressive and fun. The metaphorical representation was solid. The cultural representation was AMAZING; Sikhs, Cantonese, Koreans, a diabetic, pretty sure Tyler's dad was black Caribbean but it all felt natural.

All in all, A- movie. I had a good time.

Though not a "perfect" film, Dune 2021 was incredible. As a fan of the source material, I had a lot of hopes for the movie, especially as it was helmed by Denis Villeneuve, and the film lived up to hype I had.

As for the meat of the film, I found it well handled. I'm actually elated that it was a surprise part one. As I've been disappointed for years that neither of the preceding adaptations made it that far in the series. I'm hoping that this decision will lead to - not only a better paced adaptation of Dune - but, hopefully, the rest of the books. Hopes for seeing the other books on screen aside, I think it was the right choice to spread the massive narrative across multiple movies.

The score was incredible. Undoubtedly and unquestionably, the score was beyond reproach. Shout out to Hans Zimmer for another banger.

The costuming was awesome, but I confess that there was a little bit of an issue differentiating between some of the fights during the larger battle. The rest, though, we're amazing. I LOVED the dressed down military uniform that was the standard dress for the Atreides. Shout out to Robert Morgan and Jaqueline West.

The acting was solid, the story was solid, and they made better choices than those before.

There are, however, a couple small flaws I can see for other people. The aforementioned likelihood for slight confusion with faceless, helmeted men is a small issue, but one nonetheless. I barely count that, though, as the editing still made it easy to follow. However, there is one, genuine issue that I can acknowledge: it's slow. I love the movie and its pacing, but the slow nature of the film and the lack of much happening leaves little intrigue for most. This is especially true, as the marketing promised something completely different.

I have said before that marketing matters; it's how you inform your audience of your vision and the general content of your film, allowing audiences to judge their interest. I am not saying you can judge a book by its cover, but Dune trailers promised an action epic. It isn't. It shouldn't be.

All in all, I'd love to give it a ten, but the rug-pull requires that I take off a single point. Also, I recognize it's difficult for general audiences to get into. So, in the end, we have a 9.

So, after waiting for over a year, I finally got to see what was - for me - one of the most anticipated movies of the year (after Dune). In short, I thought it was great.

The biggest thing that the movie suffers from is whisper dialogue. Like many more art-focused films, the characters spend far too much time refusing to speak up. There is also the issue of title cards. They were distracting. There is also the issue of the overall disjointed narrative. That, however, I can forgive because of the source material. Medieval literature - especially Anglo-Saxon literature - is simply written with kind of structure. Random things just... happen. For instance, the Giants that appear for all of one scene. They do nothing and mean nothing to the plot, but they show up anyway.

As for the positives, I have to give major props for the rich style. I've seen people call it style over substance, but I disagree. All the same, it is RICH with style. Yet again, we have a movie I must praise for Costume. Design. Call out to Margosia Turzanska. Also, the set pieces are gorgeous, and the film makes incredible use of color. The atmosphere is rich, the movie has strong themes, but it's the visual storytelling of the finale that made me fall in love. I won't spoil it, but there are at least three levels of symbolism to Gawain's coronation.

All in all, a great film. It's slow, and it's narrative is out of place in this day and age, but I thought it was well executed. Solid 7.5, but I LOVE the end, so I'm bumping it to an 8.

Snake Eyes Review I don't know why they went with "GI Joe origins. Don't they know how that turned out for X-men? Probably won't go better for them. Between the nauseating shaky cam, Henry Golding's inconsistent accent, and the ham-fisted naming, it was a far cry from masterpiece. In the case of the naming, it didn't even make sense in the case of Snake Eyes; he was taking his name from a random statement made by the man who killed his father. Couple that with the VERY half-baked universe tie-in, and a contradiction of their own lore, and you have a movie that's ok go to downright meh. Worst of all (for me) is that, by the end of the movie, there was no vow of silence.

On the other hand, there were some things that were great about the movie. The costume design on POINT (shoutout to Louise Mingenbach). There were good fights, but Iko Iwais was CRIMINALLY underused. Also, the movie had excellent set pieces.

All in all, a solid 6 on its own, 5 as a GI Joe prequel.

I didn't hate it. It did hold my attention enough for me to binge the whole thing in a night, but it still wasn't... good. There aren't clear stakes for pretty much the entire run of the season. There's a MacGuffin, but we don't know why they matter. All we know is THEY ARE IMPORTANT! SUPER IMPORTANT! But... why? It's finally explained what they are actually ARE at the end of the season. That's too late! The characters are interesting, but there is so much baked in lore that is barely parsed out at all that it's hard to invest. It's hard to sink your teeth in when you don't understand why things are happening. We are supposed to just accept elf racism, but then there are cat people and a Minotaur just traipsing down the street, so we need to understand why elves are singled out. That's just one example out of many. Yet, simultaneously, the show is HEAVY with exposition.

Bottom line: it's entertaining, but is too dense to bite into. It's light on things to grab ahold of but too much to consume passively.

A steady climb to greatness and a steady descent afterwards.

Season 1 is AWESOME. It's truly some of the greatest sci-fi television I have ever seen. It is everything the Cyberpunk genre should be: neo-noir mystery wrapped in a warped sense of morality, and dashed with a look at the downfalls of unchecked technological advancements. I love it!! Chekhov would be proud to see how many guns are loaded and fired; everything has a payoff. The stakes are palpable and human - real and subversive. Perfect.

Season 2 is ok. It becomes pretty bog-standard doomsday whatever. It was... something that we saw some stuff about the Elder race. It genuinely didn't seem that important in Season 1 - more of a foil to the godly claims of the Meths - but it was something. However, the season really did lag. Most of the characters were bleh. The plot was meh. The generic doomsday thing was eh. I stick it out thanks to the greatness of Season 1.

1 is a 10, 2 is a 6. We split the difference.

This is legitimately one of the best comedies I've ever seen. Andy Samberg is always a favorite for me. I love Brooklyn Nine-Nine, I love Lonely Island, I loved his run on SNL. Still, I walked in with some skepticism. Groundhog Day is hardly the road less traveled, so I had modest hopes. I wasn't prepared.

I'll start with this: chemistry. The one thing that will keep me interested when all else fails is the cast's chemistry. If I'm engrossed in two characters sitting and talking with naught else happening, there's something there.

Also, the movie managed to get something fresh into the mix: multiple loopers. I'm not going to say it's never happened, but I haven't seen it yet. I liked it.

I would throw some shade at the "protagonists fight before the climax" cliche, but... if I knocked points off for that, there'd only be three movies in the world.

9.8/10

A major letdown. I went into this movie hoping for something in the family of Kingdom of Heaven or The King (review on the latter to come), but that's not what I got. Instead, it was slow but no burn, dark but only in lighting, gritty like bad toilet toilet paper, and ambiguous but with no warranted pay-off. I won't spoil the finer plot points, but I will remark that both of the main questions of the film - the only things you could remotely call plot -go completely unanswered. Nothing comes of the movie. No one wins, nothing happens, and no one finishes happy; especially the audience.

This was an interesting one. I often avoid foreign language films for the sake of critique simply because I want to be able to split my attention. I don't want to rewind frequently because I wasn't actively ready to read the subtitles. This film DID have a dubbed option, but I refuse to do that for live action.

As for the movie itself, I was very intrigued. All the exposition dumps came diegetically. They were still exposition dumps, but it wasn't characters that should know what's going on already explaining it because the audience doesn't. Beyond that, the premise itself is interesting. A prison with an unknown number of floors that has one table for food that simply floats down from the top. It's a very interesting concept that acts as a vehicle for a commentary on human nature, the toll of stress, and the judgement of value. At the end of the day, what is actually important?

Though the movie is violent and has some grotesque imagery, I wouldn't call this a horror movie. It's certainly billed as such, but I don't think the genre fits. All the same, I think it's an effective, well made, well conceptualized film.

I finally got around to watching this movie in April 2020, and I have to say I was pleased. Most movies of the artsy romance genre go some direction to make the relationship more of a hook. Call Me by Your Name, though a good film, is centered on a romance between two people that don't have equal dynamics. All to often, a film will make it a hot and fiery forbidden romance like Disobedience. Also a well made film, but much more about fire and passion. Portrait is about two women who fall in love and then part ways but never forget each other.

To get into what I really appreciated about this movie, there's a lot to say for subtlety. I've seen many say that the movie is poorly paced, but I disagree. From very early on in the film, you can see the main plot developing. It's a very real romance. They start with stolen glances and lingering gaze. At first these are simply by mechanics of work for one and suspicion for the other. Then, as the movie progresses, these are accompanied by smirks or smiles. The glances get longer. The proximity gets smaller. There are moments when one woman looks at the other and has nothing but pure adoration. There isn't lust in those eyes - this isn't leering - it's pure happiness. Though it does eventually get genuinely romantic and even sexual, this foundation of simply loving the other person's presence carries the relationship.

Beyond plot, I want to briefly praise the shot composition. You could tell that people who actually understand art - such as painting - helped block this movie.

In the end, I don't believe this was perfect, but I do believe it was very, VERY good.

I see a lot of people talking about the animation issues. I will admit that's bad, but it's not what kills this show for me. What really destroys it is the uncomfortable way the show treats age and sexuality.

Incest is an accepted part of the show. Even if it isn't REAL incest, the implication is certainly made that we are supposed to understand it to be. Furthermore, Kidow and Ilie's relationship is strange and uncomfortable. The age gap is never properly established, but soldiers call him "sensei", so he's implied to be older. Compound that with the time he just about rapes her and DOES exert physical power over her, and it's.... problematic. ESPECIALLY when you add in the sexual relationship he had with an older woman when he was a child.

This is... bad. It's real bad.

I promise this will be an objective review, but, before I get to that, I have to gush a bit. This movie touched me deeply. I have always had an amazing, close relationship with my brother - and sister for that matter - so, seeing the relationship between Burly and Ian unfold over the course of the movie and the impact it had on both of them was something very special to me. Compound that with the quest to find meaning and identity in a relationship with a father and you have a recipe for my emotional outpouring.

As for the meat and potatoes, the movie was good. I dare say it was great. They managed to make a Cheeto raft feel organic and believable. Stating the same exposition in its entirety twice within the first twenty minutes of the movie and then ending on a modified version is certainly a detractor. That said, the world they constructed is one I can buy. As a writer, I myself have constructed a modernized idea of the world with magic. As such, I have every confidence in my critique of the world building, and every confidence in saying it was excellent. The characters were good, the jokes landed, and the parents are - gloriously - not inept.

Summation: Pixar hit another inside-the-park homerun.

I don't mean to deride YouTube at all by saying this movie was, in every way, worse. In truth, the movies that YouTubers have made (F the Prom, the Fred movies, the abomination Mr. Paul made) have universally been garbage. That said, some of the content actually produced on the platform is gold.

All of that to say, this movie was bad. The initial set up was poor and confusing, the characters are real in the worst ways and phony in the worst ways, too.

Furthermore, it's boring. If you could at least watch it to laugh at (Final Destination as an example) this might be better, but it's just so, aggressively bland.

There are so many better movies both genuinely and ironically. Skip this one.

The movie delivers pretty solid action and a not half-bad premise. Where the issues come in are with the consistency and actual explanation of ideas. The movie never really explains the more underlying thoughts and actions of the film, and much of it is something you just have to accept, lest it eat away at you during the film.

One such example is something right on the poster and the opening seconds of the movie: Jack's wings. In the movie, he doesn't have them. What he does have are scars where the wings should be. Does that matter to the movie? No. So why are the opening scene and the poster taking time to tell us, the viewing audience, as our only understanding of our protagonist that he has or had wings?

That's more or less how the whole movie is. People do things for no real reason. Things happen for no real reason. It isn't bad, just unmotivated.

If you're looking for horror, this isn't your movie. If you're looking for a pretty good watch with some suspenseful elements, this is for you.

For one, this is not a scary movie. It isn't really that suspenseful, either. What it is is a metaphorical look at hate, guilt, and the price of actions.

The visual storytelling and thematic metaphor of the movie really deliver. It's still not an incredible movie by any stretch, but it is certainly a worthwhile watch.

Simply put, if you want a movie with a bit more depth to the suspense, this is a good one.

It wasn't bad. The filmmaking style was actually something I appreciated. However, the movie lacked clear direction. Twists are well and good, but I didn't find myself cheering when the villain went down because I didn't know they were the villain until the last third of the movie.

That's where I feel this movie really fell short. The rewinding was an interesting aesthetic and storytelling choice when it happened, but the way that the film shifted villains repeatedly took away the real triumph that could have been had.

All in all, more confused than anything else.

The movie wasn't bad, but it was generic. It started rather solid, but quickly devolved once the horror elements entered the picture. There was one moment in particular where, for no apparent reason, a jump scare was accompanied by a Generic Horror Monster Scream #3.

What the film does really well is use the medium of film. That's only enough to bump up it's quality a little bit in my mind, but it is still good. The camera lingers on empty space or even turns away from the main character to watch an empty room. This builds suspense and leaves the audience wondering if the room is really empty - if there's something malevolent in the void.

All in all, not bad, but not a knock out.

I am pained by how racist this movie is. The Japanese isn't even subtitled, it's just "speaking Japanese". Furthermore, the film treats Japan like some foolish, superstitious country and not a normal, first world nation. It does what so many movies do and treats anything non-white as weird and unworthy.

Ultimately, the movie is bad all on its own, but that made it irredeemable for me.

I loved this movie. I was laughing almost the whole time and when I wasn't, I was holding my hand over my mouth with surprise. Every twist and turn of the story is paced and delivered. Every character is spot on.

I love a film with a message, and this one is loud and clear.

You should watch it. I don't care that it's in Korean, you should watch it.

They fixed the Sonic character design. Too bad the real problem was the script.

The inciting incident has absolutely zero meaning, the conflict makes NO sense, the B plot is asinine, and the only good character in the whole movie is relegated to roughly a half hour of screen time.

If you have kids, they'll be entertained. Otherwise, save yourself the pain.

Going into this movie, I hoped for a film with something to say. I expected something along the lines of Monkey Paw or a non-Disney genie. Maybe a "be careful what you wish for", but I really hoped for a movie with a critique. To me, the best horror monsters represent something. It's not just a monster, it's the AIDS epidemic in a hockey mask. It's not just an alien, but the threat of what we might discover if we push science too far.

This was not that movie. In point of fact, it wasn't even a cautionary tale. It was a painfully generic horror movie. There's nothing I could say that would enlighten this film. The characters were bland and uninteresting; the setting was well rendered, but poorly executed; the twist actively UNDERMINED the tension of the film, and the last minute reveal that the movie is a prequel to the show is just... head shaking.

It isn't worth your time.

The people in this movie are the most exaggerated cartoon people I have ever seen. Into the Dark is pretty universally horrible, but this one is especially bad.

These are not human beings. These aren't characters. These are aliens that said "meepety mother f-ing morp, let us imitate the Earth creatures".

I wish I could give negative numbers.