Watching this film is like drinking an entire bottle of cough syrup and then listening to a Ventures album while paging through an old copy of 'Argosy' men's adventure magazine. It'll make you vaguely queasy, vaguely horny, and somewhat ashamed of yourself.
But I have to admit, there is so much disconnected lunacy in this film that it tends to put your critical abilities into a confused slumber. After a while, you just sit there, taking it all in, and drooling slightly every few minutes. Depending on how bemused you are, you may or may not remember to wipe the drool from your chin.
Somewhere in this mess is a 7th grade boy's fantasy about a super secret society of hot teenage chicks who fight crime but aren't very good at it, and so they get kidnapped a lot and spent their 'not-kidnapped' time dancing, wrestling each other, pouting, or acting brain-dead. So that's fine.
There is also a weird plot thread about an Atomic Hearing Aid and the villain Ratfink who want to get it so he can listen in on other peoples' private conversations. I think. This is obviously meant to be "FUNNEEEE" (while failing on every level to be so).
There are also some of the worst attempts at broad physical humor, mugging and slapstick ever put on film. I think they were trying for the Marx brothers, but wound up doing the Smith brothers (the cough drop guys). The guy who plays Heathcliff, in particular, should have been dropped into the ocean at birth rather than be allowed to mug on film like this. And to make it even worse, the director tossed Steve Brodie into the mix. Brodie, whose anti-talent is legendary to bad film buffs, is by no means the worst thing in the film, but his phlegmy, whiny, nasal voice just adds another top note of hamminess to the mix.
There are blatant ripoffs (which I am sure the director rationalized as 'tributes' or 'inside jokes') such as the 'Bat-Tusi' dance which Bat-Woman steals directly from the premiere episode of the original 'Batman' TV show, and swiped stock footage from 'The Mole People'. There is an opening sequence which appears to be from another film entirely, juxtaposed with reaction shots from the Bat-girls, who therefore seem to watch a mugging and murder without lifting a finger to prevent it.
There is the character of the Bat-Woman herself, who looks as if she was caught in the middle when a Cabaret nightclub act collided with a Max Factor truck. Her costume makes no sense at all, and she displays all the physical presence, charisma, and regal bearing of your 48 year old matron aunt. You know, the one who teaches third grade and obsesses about Elvis.
There are numerous dancing scenes, complete with wild 'swinging guitar' music. Actually, these are enjoyable, in a throwaway 'Beach Party' way. But they go on forever, and bring the plot to a complete halt. Given the nature of this particular plot, though, that may be a good thing.
Watch with or without Mike and The Bots. Their riffs on the proceedings take some of the pain away, but you can watch this one on your own and emerge a sadder, but wiser person.
